If you are in a marriage without love, it may seem hopeless and you may feel helpless. You once loved this person and they loved you, but suddenly that has gone away and you are left with a shell of the relationship you once had. Far too many couples would give up at this point fearing that they can never get things back on track, but that’s not necessarily true. If you are both dedicated to making the marriage work and you want to fall in love all over again, then you’re already a step ahead of the game. It takes effort and dedication from both parties, but you can improve things and be happy together again.
There is something that caused you to stop feeling the love, and more than likely it was just life circumstances. Though you may fear that you have lost each other, it’s a matter of reintroducing yourself to this person that stands before you. It is important to note that it means you both have to work at things and you both have to be willing to fix things—but you can find that love again and make your marriage better than ever before. Try to go in with an open mind and a positive attitude, but if you are both willing to try then you can improve a marriage without love and get things back to normal again.
1) Start communicating
This is by far one of the most important elements of making your marriage work again. Somewhere along the way the two of you stopped talking effectively. Life got in the way, children became the priority, and you became two strangers that just passed each other in the hallway. Start making communication your mission and begin to really talk again.
Make it a priority to chat with each other, even if it’s for a few minutes at the end of the night. Talk about things other than the functional everyday tasks, and you will start to see each other in a whole new light. Communication is at the epicenter of a successful marriage, so start talking and see how this helps to improve things for the two of you.
2) Get back to basics and try to recapture who you were when you were first together
There is something that made the two of you fall in love with each other, and you need to find that again. There was a time when you were happy and in love, and you need to think back to that time. Transport yourself in your mind to the early days when life was great and you were carefree as a couple.
When you were only committed to each other and you loved each other above everything else. If you want to improve a marriage without love then you need to fall in love with each other again. Mentally think through the early days of your relationship and marriage, and use those positive thoughts to move you forward. It’s easier to be happy with each other when you reflect upon what brought you together in the first place!
3) Add a little excitement and spontaneity to the relationship
It’s easy to feel as though you’ve fallen out of love when you go through the same boring routine each day. Add a little excitement and work at the physical intimacy one night. Plan a date night or a getaway for no reason at all.
When you add that spark and make things a bit exciting, no matter what else you have going on, then it can really work. You get to reintroduce yourself to your spouse and you remember why you got together in the first place. This is exciting to plan and you’ll likely want to take turns, and it keeps you both on your toes in a really positive and cohesive way.
4) Make each other a priority and make time for just the two of you
Sometimes life just gets in the way, and it’s up to you to make each other a priority. Sure you have a lot going on but when you stop to take the time to make each other a true priority in life, then it makes the other person feel appreciated and cherished.
Make time for just the two of you – whether it’s a good chat, snuggling in front of a favorite show, or going out on a date. Making each other a priority and finding ways of connecting is truly the secret to fixing a marriage without love. Think of why you married each other and celebrate that as often as possible, and your relationship will blossom because of it!
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Mary Fisher