If you feel like you’re in a rut in your relationship or you just want more then it’s time to think through how to improve your love life. It doesn’t matter if the relationship is new or if you have been married for years, there comes a time when we have to reevaluate a bit. You know when something isn’t working for you and it’s up to you to learn how to control that. If you don’t admit when something is wrong then you can’t possibly get what you really want. So while we tend to focus on the faults of the other person, if you want to be happy and have a positive love life then the power for that starts within you.
This can be an exhilarating feeling and also come with a bit of apprehension, for knowing that you are in the driver’s seat can be a bit of a revelation. Though you may feel that you’ve been doing things wrong for years, recognizing that you can change things and get the love life that you want is a bit of a wake-up call. There’s no reason for you to settle or to compromise what you really want—and if you’re not getting what you want then it’s up to you to speak up and work towards it. This all relies upon having a partner that makes you happy, but with the right amount of effort and concentration then you can determine how to improve your love life and get what you want in your relationship.
1) Start feeling confident about yourself and celebrating who you are
If you want to get what you really want out of a relationship then it starts by feeling good about who you are. How can you expect somebody to love you when you don’t love yourself? Recognize the positive attributes that you bring to the table and embrace that confidence that you have, even if you have to dig deep to find it.
When you feel confident and self assured, it causes your partner to stand up and take notice. When you recognize what a wonderful individual that you are, then it helps you to get what you want out of the relationship and out of life. Having confidence helps you to communicate more effectively and reminds your partner just what a great catch you are. So if you want to improve things then start recognizing what a great person that you are—and good things will start to happen!
2) Be honest with yourself about what you want out of your partner and relationship
If you want to know how to improve your love life then start being honest with yourself and your partner about what you really want. If something isn’t working then admit that, and if your partner isn’t giving you what you want or need them tell them that.
This takes some soul searching and it’s not always easy to do, but if you can recognize when things aren’t working or when you’re not getting what you want, then it starts taking you down the path to what you are looking for. This is a wake-up call for you and for your partner, and it can ultimately awaken the two of you and breathe new life into the relationship.
3) Start communicating if something doesn’t work for you
As you are thinking through what’s good and what needs some improvement, you have to actually communicate that. If something isn’t working or it’s making you unhappy then by all means own up to it and admit it to your partner. This holds true for you too, and if you are bringing negativity to the relationship or you’re not giving it your all then admit it.
Getting the lines of communication going and really working to discuss how to improve things will ultimately help you to get what you really want. This is often the hardest step in the process, but once you have just one of these conversations it all becomes much easier—and you end up getting what you want in the end too!
4) Make time for love and affection no matter what else you have going on
This is tough when you have other things going on in life. If you have been together for awhile or if you have a lot of other responsibilities, then it’s easy to become less of a priority to each other. Don’t let this happen! Both of you need to consciously make time for each other and ensure that you are affection and physically intimate.
You start to see things suffer when you don’t make time for this or you don’t make time for each other. If you want to know how to improve your love life then be sure that you allot time for one another and that you stay affectionate, and it will make the relationship feel new and exciting again. Try it for just a short while and see how much better it makes things!
5) Don’t settle and own up to admitting if something isn’t working for you
It’s not always easy to admit when you’re unhappy, but you have to if you want the love life that you’ve always envisioned. Never allow yourself to settle, for it means that you are giving yourself less than you deserve. Recognize when something or someone isn’t making you happy, and then work to improve it.
Hopefully you have a partner that is willing to work with you and give you what you want. No matter what the circumstance though, never give in or settle for less because it means that you won’t enjoy happiness and that you are cutting yourself short. You deserve as much as you put in, and always remember that!
6) Learn how to be happy and know how to improve your love life by celebrating that positive mindset
You might have to teach yourself how to be happy again and recognize that a positive mindset will help you to get there. You might have to take yourself back to a time where you were happy, and then use that as positive momentum moving forward.
Though you may struggle with this, performing this little exercise can help you to improve your love life and get to an overall happier place in your life. Make your needs and wants a priority, never settle for less than you deserve, feel good about who you are, and move forward with a positive attitude and there will be no stopping you in achieving the love life that you have always dreamed of!
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Mary Fisher