There are times when we all have to confront when things aren’t working, and you may find yourself wanting to know how to make your love life better. It may not necessarily be that you are in a loveless relationship, but simply that you need to get things back on track. It might be that you aren’t giving all that you could, or that things have just become too comfortable. It doesn’t always mean that things have to go to an extreme for you to enjoy true happiness again, but sometimes we all need a little wake-up call and that’s okay and totally normal.
When life happens and we start to get into a rut, it’s imperative to work at breathing new life into a relationship. Whether it’s a matter of circumstances or you simply need to work at helping each other to discover why you fell in love in the first place, it’s all about a conscious effort. Nearly every couple goes through this stage in a relationship and having an awareness of things and then being dedicated to improving things is what will help it to get better. So no matter what may have caused the need for improvement, answering a few simple questions can help you to uncover what it is that you really want in the end. If you want to know how to make your love life better, then answer these questions and think through how to get to a place that makes you both truly happy.
Are you giving everything you can to create a happy relationship?
We all have a tendency to blame our mate, but that’s not always the reason for the problems. If you yourself have gotten into a rut or if you feel overwhelmed with other life matters, then it’s easy to give less to your relationship. This isn’t a matter of blame, but rather recognizing when you’re not giving all that you could.
Your partner should go through this very same exercise, as it’s very likely that neither of you are giving all that you could. If things aren’t working or if you need some improvements to be truly happy then consider what you are giving and then work to fix what’s not working for you. This self awareness will ultimately help you to get what you want, so it’s well worth improving what you give!
Are you with somebody that is capable of and interested in making you truly happy?
This is a tough question because you may not always like the answer. There’s a good chance though that if they made you happy at one point in time, that they are truly capable of making you happy again. They may have gotten pulled into other life situations and therefore put the relationship and your happiness on the back-burner.
Again allow this to be a wake-up call as you think through what your partner is capable of. If they want to make you happy and they have just temporary lost sight of how to do this, then it’s easy to fix. Do take the time to think through who you are with and what they are capable of, for learning how to make your love life better sometimes involves the difficult questions and answers.
Are you honestly communicating what you want and what you need?
If you need more physical intimacy and you’re not communicating it, then you are likely not going to get it. If you need more face time for just the two of you but you’re not telling your partner, then you can’t possibly get what you want in the end.
In order to improve things and really feel the love, then you have to communicate what you want and what you need. It’s impossible for your partner to read your mind, so if something isn’t working or you need something you’re not getting tell them. Once you own up to this and tell them just one time it will become easier, and you will allow the communication to flow well between the two of you.
Are you both making each other a priority and willing to work at what it takes to make your love life better?
In the end it may be simply about putting the other priorities in life on hold for a bit and recommitting to each other. Making each other and your relationship a priority is how to make things better. Making time for each other, dating each other again, talking more, and remembering what you love about each other can really help in how to make your love life better.
You get out of it what you put into it, and it all starts by thinking through what you want and how to get there. This is a two way street and when you are working together and recommitting to each other, then you feel the love and there is that happily ever after. You can get what you want, but you have to be willing to put in the work and tell your partner what you need from them—and then the good stuff really starts to come your way!
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Mary Fisher