The problem is, pretending to be happy in a relationship can take its toll on your emotional and physical health. It also prevents you and your current spouse from moving forward into a satisfying life either with or without each other.
Sometimes the unknown is worse than sticking it out with someone you aren’t indeed in love with.
But, how do you know when you’re not happy in relationships? Keep reading to find out.
Being alone with your thoughts can be scary, especially if you know a big change is coming to your life.
Suppose you constantly find yourself on the phone, listening to podcasts, or watching videos. In that case, it could be that you’re avoiding addressing or even acknowledging the ‘reasons I pretend to be happy.’
3. Your social media speaks volumes
Why pretend to be happy when you’re not? Sometimes it all comes down to social perceptions.
Social media is a big deal to many people, so take a good look at yours and use it as a chart of your relationship.
Do you make flowery posts about your spouse to give off the impression that you’re madly in love?
One of the key signs someone is pretending to be happy in their relationship is acting like their spouse is their favorite person and then never actually spending time with them.
If you find yourself consistently making plans that don’t include your partner, you will do well to ask yourself why.
5. Your heart feels heavy
Do you feel excited or surrounded by love when you are with your partner or do you find yourself longing to be somewhere else?
Pretending to be happy in a relationship can take its toll on your emotional heart.
If your heart feels heavy when you’re around your sweetheart, it could be a sign that you are pretending to be something you’re not when you’re together, and your heart has finally had enough.
6. You’ve lost your confidence
If you are not happy in a relationship with your partner, it can set your mind wandering.
Faking being happy in your current relationship may have you daydreaming of another life with someone else. This is dangerous because dwelling on these fantasies can lead you to cheat and hurt a host of people.
7. You’re nicer to your spouse in front of your friends
Why do people pretend to be happy when they are not?
Sometimes it’s because they’re afraid of how their life might look to their friends, or maybe their family loves their current partner, and they don’t want to disappoint them.
If you have little interest in your spouse but know exactly how to put on a ‘perfect couple‘ act in front of other people, take it as a huge sign you’re pretending to be happy in a relationship.
Do they belittle you, gaslight, or pull an attitude when they’re around other people?
If you are not happy in relationships for toxic reasons, you may find yourself excusing your spouse’s behavior to friends and family. Not only is this sad, but it can also be dangerous to your emotional and physical health.
9. Physical intimacy is avoided
When was the last time you and your spouse were truly intimate?
If the desire of you getting intimate with your spouse no longer exists and you don’t feel attracted towards them, you might avoid any physical contact altogether.
Avoiding physical intimacy with your partner may be a sign that you’re no longer interested in maintaining a deep connection.
10. You don’t expand on your feelings
Do you feel like staying silent is more comfortable than having a deep or important conversation with your spouse?
Be honest with yourself and acknowledge how you feel deep down.
Staying in a state of unhappiness can contribute to depression and anxiety in other areas of your life, such as work and relationships with friends.
If you can come up with even one “Reason I pretend to be happy,” then take it as a huge sign that your relationship is no longer healthy.
Instead of coming right out and saying: “I’ve only been pretending to be happy in a relationship with you.”
Try something like: “I’ve realized lately that I haven’t been feeling like myself in our relationship. There is a disconnect between us that is starting to concern me/that I would really like to work on.”
This will open the door to talking about what’s really been contributing to your faking happiness.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.