How to Take Things Slow in a Relationship: 10 Helpful Tips
In This Article
If you have been hurt in the past, it may be hard for you to think about having another relationship. For this reason, you might want to know more about how to take things slow in a relationship.
A painful past could keep you from falling too hard and might prevent future heartache. But it can also make you overly cautious.
Keep reading to understand the important aspects of taking things slow in a relationship.
What it means to take things slow in a relationship
You may have heard someone say that they are taking it slow in a relationship. That means they are trying their best not to get too serious too fast. In other words, they may try not to spend the night at their house or have sex with someone until they know them better.
A 2020 study investigated whether casual sex relationships caused people to have negative emotions afterward and found that it is possible in different instances.
Instead, in a slow moving relationship, individuals may spend time talking, going on dates, hanging out in groups, and cultivating their bond before acting physically. Together, you should be able to decide the speed at which the relationship should be moving.
To learn more about how to take things slow in a relationship, consider reading additional articles on the subject. You can also talk to people you know and trust for advice. They may have a distinctive point of view that can help you put it in perspective.
How to slow down a new relationship
Anytime you wonder how to take things slow in a relationship, you first need to decide what you want from the new relationship. This includes your expectations and boundaries for any relationship you are in.
Once you know what these things are, you can take things slow. Consider a new relationship, like making a new friend. You probably wouldn’t let a new friend sleep at your house right after meeting them. Try your best to make decisions that won’t cause you to get hurt.
If you feel like your relationship is moving too slowly, you can talk to your partner about it and make decisions together about what you want to do.
You may also work with a relationship therapist to help make changes. Consider talking to them to learn more about how to take things slow in a relationship.
Why people may want to slow down a relationship
There are several reasons why someone may consider moving slow in a relationship. It is usually a good idea to start slow in a relationship, and many people have their reasons why they want to. Here are some of the most common ones.
1. They want to get to know you better
In some situations, a person may want to get to know someone better before they act on any serious feelings they have towards them. This may cause them to want to learn more about how to take the relationship slow.
Think about how much you’d like to know about someone before becoming serious with them. This is one way to determine if you want to take your relationship slow.
2. They are figuring out what they want
Another reason a person may consider a slow relationship timeline is that they are still trying to determine what they want. They may be figuring out what they want from a relationship and trying to see how their new relationship unfolds.
Once you figure out what you want from a relationship, you can talk to your partner about it and see if your plans can align.
Related Reading: 7 Things to Do When Figuring out How to Leave Someone You Love
3. They may be setting boundaries
Someone might also be taking it slow because they are setting or planning to set boundaries. This means that they likely want to set limits on how much time they spend with their partner and the things they do with each other.
Having boundaries in any relationship is okay, and you need to express these to your mate as soon as possible.
4. They might not be ready to be intimate
You might want to take it slow if you aren’t ready to be intimate with another person. If you would like to learn more about them and become closer before you become physical with them, it makes sense that you’d want to try slowing down a relationship.
Anyone who has been hurt previously after they have slept with someone may be a bit cautious when it comes to being intimate with a new partner.
Related Reading: 12 Ways to Have an Intimate Conversation With Your Partner
5. They may be apprehensive
When a person is apprehensive about getting into a relationship, this could cause them to want to slow down. They may want to protect themselves and their heart from getting hurt.
Again, this is okay with any relationship as long as you are open and honest with the person you are dating. Many people may be taking it slow since statistics show that people are waiting until they are around 30 to get married. This is older than in previous years.
10 helpful tips for taking it slow in a relationship
Once you are wondering how to slow down a relationship, refer to this list. It has helpful advice that you might want to follow. Keep these things in mind and think about them when you wish to take it slow with your partner and your relationship.
1. Be honest about your intentions
When you want to know one of the top ways related to how to take things slow in a relationship, you must be honest about your intentions. You must tell the person you are dating that you want to take things slow. If they like you, they should be able to respect this.
You can determine what you want and don’t want to do as you start your relationship.
2. Be clear on why you to take it slow
You should always be clear on why you want to take things slow. When it feels like you are making a mistake or you don’t know what you are doing, you have to remind yourself why you chose to take it slow in the first place.
It may be because you just got out of a relationship or you are nervous about starting a new one.
3. Go on fun and casual dates
Anytime you try to have a slow relationship, you should try to go on fun and casual dates. They don’t have to be romantic, and you don’t have to go as a couple. You can join group dates, find fun activities, or even try new things.
If you aren’t doing romantic stuff all the time or eating at your house together, you will be unlikely to feel pressured into sleeping together before you are ready. Instead, you can continue learning about each other and having fun.
4. Don’t spend every minute together
It is a good idea to plan your time together and not be with one another every minute.
Slow romance meaning is that you can have a romance, but you don’t have to have it quickly. You can still feel special if you go out with your partner a couple of times a week and do entertaining things together.
This can allow you to see how they handle themselves in different situations, which could make you like them even more. On the other hand, it can let you know if you don’t like them.
Related Reading: 15 Reasons Why Quality Time Is So Important in a Relationship
5. Keep learning about each other
Try to never stop learning about one another. Think about how much you want to know about someone before you are in a serious relationship with them. This is how much you should learn about your partner before spending all your time with them.
Knowing a lot about them may help you determine if you are compatible with one another, which could make you feel more relaxed overall.
6. Limit communication
In addition to not seeing each other every day, you shouldn’t be communicating every minute of every day either. It is okay to text and call a few times a day, but you should also be apart from each other sometimes.
Likewise, you should text each other only. It is necessary to talk to each other regularly to build a connection with one another.
7. Don’t make big decisions
It might be difficult to remember when you are trying to learn more about how to take things slow in a relationship that you should hold off on making big decisions together until you are ready.
For example, you shouldn’t make big changes in your life for another person until you are sure that you are at a point in your relationship where this is a solid decision.
8. Don’t be intimate until you are ready
Another thing you may need to put off is being intimate with each other. This is something else that you should wait on until you feel as comfortable as possible.
Delaying sex means that you don’t have to pressure yourself to sleep with each other soon after you start dating, and instead can talk about how long you want to wait before you become physical with each other.
Related Reading: Why Men Struggle With Intimacy Issues & How to Help Them Recover
9. Put off moving in together
Try to only move in together once it is the right time to do so. Even if you like each other a lot, getting to know each other well is necessary before you cohabitate. This is one of the first rules related to how to take things slow in a relationship.
Again, this is a conversation you can have with your partner at some point to make a decision together.
Related Reading: How to Talk to Your Boyfriend About Moving in Together
10. Wait to introduce them to your family
If you have a habit of introducing your partner to your family, consider holding off on that until you determine that you are serious about one another. This can lessen pressure on the relationship, so if it doesn’t work out, you don’t expose your family to someone you aren’t serious about.
Consider not meeting their family until you feel comfortable doing so.
Watch this video for more advice on starting a new relationship:
Commonly asked questions
The pace of a relationship is something that needs to align for you and your partner. It should make you feel comfortable and ensure you can get close to each other in an organic way. Some pressing questions can provide you clarity regarding this.
Is it good to take things slow in a relationship?
It can be good to think about going slow in a relationship. When you and your partner decide to take it slow, this can allow you to learn more about each other and build your bond up before being intimate with one another or making big decisions.
While this isn’t required in a relationship, it can be something to think about when you meet someone new.
Can moving too fast ruin a relationship?
Moving too fast can ruin a relationship. If you become intimate too soon or get too involved with someone quickly and then it turns out that they don’t feel the same way about you, this could cause you to get hurt.
Instead, it would help if you tried slow dating, where you take the time to learn more about another person and then together, you can decide what pace you’d like the relationship to go.
In a nutshell
Consider many things when you are wondering how to take things slow in a relationship. When this is important to you, there are certain decisions that you will need to hold off making and many conversations that you must have with your partner.
Additionally, you can talk to a therapist for more help on how to take things slow in a relationship. They should be able to provide you with advice that you can trust as well.
Share this article on
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.