Erotic dreams, or dreams that focus on sexual activity, are common, with 8% of adults reporting that they regularly experience sexual scenarios when dreaming, according to research done at the University of Montréal.
Of course, the definition of a sex dream is vast, covering the spectrum from dreaming about just kissing to hotter dreams involving full-on intercourse. Have you ever woken up from a heavy makeout session with Jude Law, looked over at your spouse and felt guilty for cheating on him in your dream life? Have you ever wondered if there is some type of deeper meaning to these erotic dreams?
Many psychologists believe that sex dreams reveal something deeper going on in the dreamer’s psyche, so let us have a look at some common themes to sex dreams and what they might mean.
1. In your dream, you are cheating on your partner
You wake up surprised, as you have no desire nor intention of being unfaithful to your spouse. But there you were last night, passionately kissing that cute sales rep you work with. This dream may just indicate that you enjoy your sexuality, you enjoy the game of seduction, and your subconscious is just looking for a new and different experience that you cannot live in your real life.
If, however, you and your real-life partner are experiencing some relationship difficulties, this dream may be drawing your attention to that fact.
2. If your dream, your partner cheats on you
This dream may just be telling you that you have moments of insecurity with your spouse, that you may feel that you aren’t doing enough to nurture the relationship and that your partner may stray. This is a good wakeup call to check in with your partner and take the temperature of the relationship, talking about what you could both be doing to keep the relationship nourishing and mutually-enriching.
Your subconscious may also be picking up on something you are worried about with your partner, so do open a conversation about these worries.
3. In your dream, you are having sex with your partner
Nothing to worry about here. This is actually a great dream to have, as it shows how much you enjoy your sex life together.
This is a more common dream for people to experience when in long-distance relationships, where the opportunities to have real-life sex are fewer, so your brain fills in this gap by giving you dreamlife lovemaking.
4. In your dream, you are kissing your ex
This does not necessarily mean you want to get back with your former partner. You could just be remembering fondly the “good old days” when things were great with this person, and your mind is revisiting this happy moment in your life.
5. In your dream, you are kissing a famous person
This is a very common dream, especially with adolescents. There is no hidden meaning to it, it just wishes fulfillment. And take comfort in the fact that if you can’t kiss Zac Ephron in real life, at least you have the opportunity to do so in your dream life!
6. In your dream, you are watching other people kiss
You may be a bit of a voyeur in real life, or this dream may indicate that you are far too wrapped up in other people’s business.
You might want to cut down on the gossip.
7. In your dream, you have sex with a stranger
This doesn’t mean you are easy, hooking up with anyone who crosses your path.
This dream means that there is something in your own life you are trying to integrate and understand on a deeper level, some aspect about yourself you are trying to come to terms with.
8. In your dream, you have sex with a platonic friend
You may awaken shocked that this could ever happen – you falling into bed with your best friend! No worries! This dream is merely showing you that you love certain attributes your friend has, and what they bring into your life.
This type of dream means you wish to incorporate into your own life some of the wonderful things that you appreciate in your friend’s personality.
9. In your dream, you are walking around in public, naked
One of the most common dreamscapes that appear in every culture.
Psychologists agree that this naked in public dream is a simple manifestation of anxiety and of feeling unprepared for an upcoming event. It is telling you to study for that test, review and get up to speed on work commitments or take care of something that is on your to-do list so you don’t feel anxious about it.
10. In your dream, you have gay sex, but in real life you are straight
This dream does not indicate a latent homosexual desire, but rather that you feel great acceptance about yourself. Your dream involves another person of the same sex, but it is often just a symbol of you making love to yourself.
It’s a good dream to have because it shows that you have a healthy level of self-esteem.
11. In your dream, your private parts disappear
This dream means you might be feeling insecure about your sexuality or your attractiveness to others.
It could also mean you are feeling unseen or ignored sexually by your partner, hence your sexuality is “disappearing.” Pay attention to what this dream is telling you; it’s important.
12. In your dream, you have an orgasm
“Wet dreams”, or nocturnal emissions, are something that most people experience, especially in adolescence when they have fewer outlets for real sex with a partner and hormonal levels are extremely high.
Up to four percent of sex dreams include an orgasm.
Most often these happen because the dreamer has not climaxed for a while, and the body is simply taking care of this pleasurable event during sleeping hours.