Men are interesting creatures. Simple, yet complex. Easy to please, but impossible to read.
You’d think that women would have cracked the code to the men in their lives by now, but some are still baffled by the dead ends they run into. The problem isn’t that these ladies haven’t bothered to try and understand men; the problem is that they’ve tried to understand them by looking through their lens of emotions.
In order to get a glimpse of the male psyche, women have to put down how they feel about connecting and bonding in a relationship and consider how guys see the situation.
Allow me to help.
Here are 4 tips simpler than you would’ve imagined that will help you connect with your man
1. Show some interest in what he likes
You don’t have to become a die-hard fan of his favorite sports team, but you should devote some of your energy to what he likes and how he operates. Men’s emotions are often dedicated to things other than romance, so if you’re looking to bond with those emotions, you have to go find where they’re hiding.
If you think of how women generally budget their emotions, a large part of them is allotted to romance and the connection within the relationship. Wouldn’t you expect him to take an interest in that romance that you’re looking to create? Don’t you want your man to sweep you off your feet? Of course, you do. And for the most part, men are willing to meet you where your emotions reside.
In order to bond with your guy, you need to walk the other way down this two-way street. You need to go meet him where his emotions are and dive into what makes him excited. When he sees you making an effort, he will undoubtedly fall harder for you than he ever has before.
2. Support his mission in life
Guys are very action oriented and love going out into the world and trying to accomplish a whole bunch of stuff. Do your best to support whatever that mission is. They say that behind every strong man is an even stronger woman. Be that stronger woman.
If he wants to run for president, show him that you believe in the cause and will support his journey to making it happen. If it’s far-fetched, it’s all good, just help him navigate that rough terrain.
If he wants to open up a small business, have his back so long as it doesn’t threaten the stability of your marriage or your financial standing. By supporting your man and joining him on his mission–whatever that maybe–you will prove to him how committed you are to the marriage and his needs within it. He will appreciate that commitment and show it with a deeper and more fulfilling connection to you. You won’t regret being his number one cheerleader when he becomes your number one fan.
3. Listen to him when he speaks, you might miss something if you’re not careful
It’s no secret that most men aren’t willing to gush about how they’re feeling or what they’re thinking. Since this is pretty much the case for all men, you need to become a superior listener. You need to find those cues that might sound like red flags as they talk. If you ask him how he’s feeling, he’ll probably clam up and not want to take the conversation any further than it already has gone.
Take note of not only what he’s saying but how he’s saying it. If you can be more attentive in conversation, you’ll start reading him like a book. This will allow him to feel like he’s being heard; like what he says is really getting to you.
If what he says doesn’t seem like it’s being communicated effectively, most guys aren’t going to be patient and keep pouring their heart out. Being vulnerable as a guy is hard enough, so they’re not likely to repeat the process over and over and over.
When you get your chance to listen to him, take full advantage. Open ears and an open mind will fast-track your emotional connection to your man and allow you to bond in an amazing way.
4. Let him know you’re thinking about him
As you go about your day, most of the tasks that you engage in becoming routine. You wake up, shower, pour your coffee and head off to work to do a bunch of other things that have been on autopilot for a while. When you’re married, some of those habitual behaviors make you and your spouse’s day pretty predictable. You send him a text when it’s lunchtime, and he’ll return a generic “I love you” when it’s his turn to chow down.
Switch up that routine and do something a little out of the ordinary whenever you can. Send him a cute message about why you’re grateful for him. Let him know what you want to do with him later. Send him a meme that you think he’d enjoy.
Do what you can to show him that he’s on your mind throughout the entire day and not just at moments when you find the time to reach out to him.
Connecting on an emotional level is essential to the health of any marriage, but it doesn’t necessitate grand gestures and hours of therapy to create a bond that lasts. Like I said before, men are pretty simple creatures, so don’t try to overcomplicate it. Give these tips a try and I promise you that your man will appreciate and love you more than you could imagine. At the very least, he will be happy to show how much he loves and appreciates you based on how you fulfil his emotional needs.