You’ve met a woman that you really like. You enjoy spending time with her, your sex life has started off with a bang, and you would like to move this relationship forward into a more-serious status. For that, you want to build an emotional connection with this woman. But how?
Learning how to connect emotionally with a woman (and with people in general) is one of the strongest, most rewarding and satisfying skill you can learn. Here are some ways to help you build this vital connection with a woman:
1. Be a good communicator
Good communication is an essential element when you want to build an emotional connection with a woman. But how do you become a good communicator? Basically, you want to have a good back and forth when talking with the woman you are interested in. You don’t want to dominate or control the conversation, but you don’t want to be a complete introvert who doesn’t offer any response to her questions.
Ideally, your conversations will involve a balanced sharing of questions and responses. You want to talk to her without other distractions at hand—no checking of your cell phone each time it beeps—and actively listen to her responses. To show her that you have heard what she has said, reword it back to her. For example, she says “I really like to hike on weekends”. Your response might be “It sounds like you enjoy being out in nature.”
This helps build a connection much better than responding “Oh, me too.”
2. Share who you authentically are
Women respond to honesty. The skirt-chaser who uses all the old pick-up lines is unlikely to create a good emotional connection with a woman. Few men are as slick as James Bond, but you don’t need to be. Be yourself. Share what you are passionate about. Talk about your work (if you love it. If you don’t, talk about what you might do to change the situation).
If an emotional connection is going to be created, it needs to be between two people who are showing each other exactly who they are. Be upfront and natural so she has the chance to fall in love with what you have to offer, and not some made-up image that you think you need to portray. Even if you think you are weird, let your weird flag fly. She might love your kind of weird!
3. Allow her to share who she authentically is, too
As your emotional connection deepens, you will feel more and more at ease with each other, which is a great thing. Let her know that she can be completely open with you, sharing her fears, dreams and hopes. She can be vulnerable in front of you and you will still love her wholly. She doesn’t need to be perfectly made-up, dressed to the nines with impeccably styled hair for you to connect with her. Let her know she is perfect just the way she is.
4. Touch and kiss, no matter how secure you are in the relationship
Keep up the physical, non-sexual contact. Kiss her sweetly without pressuring her for more. Touching her in a way to connect (not just as a way to say “I want to have sex”) speaks to women on a deeply emotional level. So kiss her neck when she is washing the dishes. Hug her tight before you leave for work. And always, always kiss her before you go to sleep, even if it is not a prelude to lovemaking.
5. Express your love in a variety of ways
You don’t need to constantly do the “big gestures” to build an emotional connection with a woman.
Sure, women appreciate the occasional bouquet of roses, a bottle of perfume, or a surprise weekend getaway. But smaller, intimate expressions of love can really help connect you emotionally with each other. Pour her a glass of wine as she starts dinner preparation. Offer to give her a back massage as you are watching television. Leave her a loving note in her suitcase as she packs for a business trip. All of these signs of affection help your emotional connection.
6. Tell her how much you admire her
When she meets a challenge, whether it be personal or professional, tell her how proud you are of her. Let her see admiration in your eyes when you look at her. When you are out with friends, brag about her accomplishments to others. On Mother’s Day, thank her mother for having such an amazing daughter.
7. Be there for them through health challenges
Nothing will deepen your emotional connection more than going through a health scare together. Be present for her if she is meeting a health challenge. Ask how you can support her. If she needs to go to the hospital for tests, take her. If it is possible to accompany her through the testing procedure, be there for that. Let her know that she can depend on you to walk with her through these worrisome moments. You are a team.
8. Make the most of your time together
Quality time together helps build and reinforce your emotional connection. If you settle into routines, such as spending weekends bingeing on the latest Netflix series, or drinking too much, or just sleeping the day away, it will be impossible to build an emotional connection, as you aren’t engaged with anything meaningful. While there is no problem watching television or playing a video game from time to time, don’t make this a habit. You’ll be missing some of the most beautiful moments you can create with your partner.