20 Things a Couple Can Do to Strengthen a Marriage

Marriage requires a lot of understanding on the part of both spouses and a certain degree of compromises too. 

You need to accommodate some likes, dislikes, and lifestyles of your partner while expecting them to reciprocate. 

If you are feeling like your marriage is not where you want it to be, there are many things you can start to do right now that can contribute to the improving relationship with your spouse.

This article shares time-tested and proven ways for strengthening marriages against storms of life.

What constitutes a strong foundation for a marriage?

To strengthen a marriage couples need to ensure that they nurture their relationship from the beginning. Marriage is a rewarding experience especially for those who built a strong foundation of their relationship.

Listed below are 4 principles essential for building a strong foundation for a marriage:

1. Commitment

Commitment is the part of the relationship that provides safety and security, so couples can express their thoughts, feelings, and desires openly. 

The commitment you make to your partner to be their other half in life is a huge one.

There’s a goal of permanence and solidity between you when you announce commitment in a relationship

A key sign of a committed relationship is in being the person your partner needs on any given day.

If you need to be the strong one, be the strong one. If your partner feels needy, show up and give them what they need.

Be faithful, be consistent, and be somebody that your partner can rely on to keep your word.

2. Communication

Communication is the key to a happy and prosperous relationship. It is a very important part, especially where love is involved. 

It is the act of conveying meanings from one entity or group to another through the use of mutually understood signs, symbols, and semiotic rules.

According to Christiana Njoku, a licensed professional counselor:

Communication is the oil that lubricates the flow of thoughts in relationships; as couples, communicate until you have nothing to communicate.

Relationship communication skills don’t come easy for everyone. Some couples will have to work on their techniques for years. But over time, they will be able to speak openly and honestly with one another.

3. Patience

Well, patience is the ability to tolerate or restrain yourself from reacting in anger or frustration.

Patience in marriage is fundamental for your relationship to flourish. To such an extent, that it’s one of the significant marriage skills. 

Patience brings a sense of contentment to the family. If both the partners patiently listen to each other or to their children, there are higher chances of the family life to continue with stability.

4. Intimacy

Intimacy involves the expression of our most profound, and most vulnerable parts of ourselves, which includes our deepest hopes, fears, dreams, thoughts, feelings, and pain.  These sensitive feelings are tough to express.

Real intimacy is vital to strengthen a marriage and keep it thriving. Without it, marriages may morph into routine, roommate-like living situations, which is hardly satisfying for either partner.

The need for intimacy in marriage is as important as the need for love and trust to build a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Related Reading: Emotional Intimacy vs Physical Intimacy: Why We Need Both

20 ways to strengthen a marriage

With the current divorce rate between 40-50%, many couples are in search of ways to strengthening their marriage. With this fact in mind and in hopes of decreasing this rate, we offer the following 10 suggestions below for strengthening a marriage.

1. Rid off the relationships in your life that are “toxic”

 A toxic relationship is one that demands more than it gives. These types of relationships can be with family members, friends, and/or others we deal with on a regular basis. Do what it takes to end relationships that are no longer beneficial to you or your marriage with your spouse.

2. Work together as a team instead of competing with one another

Life is a rat race and none of us are going to get out alive, therefore, it is best to face life’s challenges as a team instead of competing to see who can handle difficult situations better or more often.

As Christiana Njoku explains:

In marriage, couples are to complement and not compete with each other.

You can also try couples strengthening exercises to become a better team.

3. Encourage and uplift your spouse regularly 

To have a strong marriage, it is first necessary for your spouse to feel good about themselves. The old saying goes; “One cannot love another without first loving thyself.” 

Be sure to remind your spouse how important they are to you and tell him, or her, how they make your life easier and happier.

4. Perform kind gestures for your spouse

We all love to be pampered and/or spoiled by our loved ones and one of the best ways to show someone you care is to do something thoughtful. 

To strengthen a marriage, Consider picking up your spouse’s favorite movie, snack, and a bunch of flowers – just because it would matter to them and make you happy too.

5. Enjoy alone time

As human beings, spending time alone is a necessity for achieving peace and clarity. Spend plenty of time with your spouse but don’t forget to take time out for yourself as well.

6. Adopt a pet

Pets are known for bringing happiness to a home and can even help strengthening your marriage. Consider adopting a cat or dog from your local shelter. This will provide a fun opportunity for picking out a name for your new pet and taking him, or her, out to play.

7. Plan a date night either once a week or a month

A date night can be as simple as having dinner at a local diner, a picnic, or going on a short walk at your favorite place during the weekend. 

Not only will this help to strengthen a marriage but also solidify a friendship as partners. Eventually, it will become an activity that you both look forward to.

8. Make plans that suit both spouses in the relationship

Oftentimes in a marriage, spouses tend to enjoy different activities from one another. The husband may prefer a round of golf while the wife enjoys the day at the salon. 

Try finding out what your partner enjoys and try participating in the same – your partner will appreciate the gesture and do the same for you next time.

9. Spice things up in the bedroom

A “happy sex life” is ultimately an underlying key for the success of any marriage. Both partners must be fully satisfied in the bedroom and it is great to try new things or “spice things up.” 

Consider visiting a local adult store or perhaps shopping online (for those who are more shy) for new lingerie and/or a sexual game to play with your spouse.

10. Have meaningful and open conversations with your spouse

Build upon your communication skills by allotting a set time for open discussions. During this time, nothing is off-limits and both spouses agree to only use words that are kind and never insulting; neither person can get mad, angry, or upset. 

If this were to occur, the conversation should be closed and revisited during the next set time.

Related Reading: Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have for a Better Marriage

Also watch: How to skip the small talk and connect with anyone.

11. Don’t stress about the little things

Regardless of how much you and your partner love each other, you would find yourself bickering and arguing about some silly and inconsequential things.

Stressing about little things that hardly matter is not a good practice and usually emerges in a relationship from either partner’s obsession with those little things.

The results from a study showed that both husband’s and wives’ experience of total daily stress was associated with greater same-day marital conflict and that conflict was greater on days both spouses experienced high levels of stress.

Letting go of excessive stress is one of the best ways to strengthen a marriage.

12. Reminisce together

Reminiscing together can help the two of you reconnect and remember why you fell in love. Build that nostalgia into your future activities and the emotional attachment can reform. 

Reminiscing about the good times is one of the best ways to bring romance back into a relationship and strengthen a marriage.

13. Take responsibility for your actions

You don’t want to be in a relationship where one partner is always looking down and feeling sorry for another. It makes more sense to acknowledge your faults and ask for help from your partner.

14. Leave the past in the past

If something happened many years ago, don’t bring it up now. Rather stick to the topic at hand. An essential part of any marriage is being able to forgive each other and move on.

To strengthen a marriage you need to focus more on the present and not be bogged down by the instances in the past.

15. Have fun

Life can be challenging, demanding, busy and I could keep going on and on about the difficulties it brings us sometimes.  Despite this, or better yet in spite of this, it’s important to create the time and space in your relationship to have fun. 

16. Show unconditional positive regard

Show unconditional positive regard for your partner so they know that your love for them is not dependent on circumstances. This allows your partner to feel safe to share anything with you, even if they know you will not like it.

17. Talk about sex

Don’t just have sex but have conversations about it. Talk about patterns, likes, dislikes, desires, fantasies, etc. Couples who have discussions about intimate topics are more likely to be healthier, happier, and last longer.

A study found a clear association between the use of sexual terms, particularly slang terms, and relationship satisfaction and closeness. 

18. Accommodate each other’s needs

Always be flexible; change occurs in every relationship. Accept that you can’t always have things your way, things are not going to always go as planned, or how you want them to go.

19. Learn how to manage conflict

There are some conflicts you may not ever resolve, but you can learn to manage them by coming up with agreeable solutions, compromising, agreeing to disagree, and letting go.

20. Love yourself

For successful relationships, you must love yourself first before you love another. You cannot give what you do not have. Be mindful of how you spend your time, Care about your diet, and Cut off toxic people.

Related Reading: Practicing Positive Self Care in Your Marriage

Conclusion

To strengthen a marriage the development of many skills are required – communication skills, emotional intelligence, planning, problem-solving, negotiation, resourcefulness, reliability, and parenting skills. 

When all of these elements are combined what you get is a profound connection. 

Try these tips and work your best to strengthen a marriage and forge a bond with your partner that can not break easily.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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Sample Question

When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

I want to be open, but part of me still guards my heart

Our discussions sometimes spiral or end unresolved

It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

We often see things differently about goals or priorities

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