It’s not at all unknown that good marriages don’t just happen through sheer luck. Of course, it’s wonderful if you’ve met your idea of “the one” but that doesn’t guarantee a strong and healthy marriage.
Marriage requires work. A lot of work.
Commitment and marriage go hand-in-hand. And why is that?
It’s because marriage is a sacred bond that is grounded in the basic principles of intimacy, passion, and commitment.
Without these three core components of marriage, there is no scope for trust, good quality communication, and respect to develop. And without these three aspects of a relationship, love is merely a distant possibility.
So, yes, marriage commandments are fundamental to having a fulfilling married life.
As already mentioned, just because you’ve successfully tied the knot with your “perfect match” doesn’t mean that the experience of marriage will be effortless and easy.
Marriage commandments have a fundamental role to play when it comes to married life characterized by satisfaction, peace, and joy.
The importance of keeping God at the center of your marriage is a wonderful way to understand and incorporate the 10 commandments of marriage.
Having a marital bond with God as the foundation for the same will enable you and your spouse to follow the commandments for marriage accurately and effectively.
Commandments that strengthen family and marriage
Before you learn about the marriage commandments, let’s slow down for a quick second. Let’s get back to the fundamentals of commandments.
What are commandments?
More importantly, what is marriage commandments?
Let’s look into the meaning and significance of commandments first.
The commandments essentially refer to the divine rules that have been set and commanded by God. Biblical rules are commandments.
Let’s now understand the value or the significance of love commandments that have been given by the Almighty. Why are commandments important for marriages?
As mentioned earlier, healthy and happy marriages warrant intentional effort consistently. To make it possible to stay on track in the process of consistently working on your marriage, the commandments for marriage are needed.
The Scriptures are a wonderful source of endless knowledge and guidance about life and everything that life entails.
The marriage commandments that can be found in the Scriptures lay out the fundamental principles and guidelines that all married individuals should consider implementing for building a lasting love-filled relationship with their significant others.
Another reason why commandments can shield and strengthen families and marriages is that the wisdom imparted through the10 commandments of marriage is applicable even today!
10 commandments of a strong and successful marriage
Now that you’re well-acquainted with the significance of marriage commandments, let’s actually focus on the ten commandments of marriage that you can consider implementing for a wonderful married life:
1. Exclusivity is fundamental
One of the very first commandments of marriage speaks about exclusivity. Now you may be wondering how exclusivity has any biblical relevance, right?
As mentioned earlier, the wonderful thing about the wisdom found in the Scriptures is that it can be adapted for providing guidance in our present times too.
Now if you think about the first commandment in Exodus 20:3 which speaks about not having any other gods before the Almighty, it is possible to connect the first commandment to exclusivity in marriage.
Just as God has commanded that you have an exclusive bond with Him, similarly, this commandment indicates the importance of only having beloved and staying loyal to them in marriage.
2. Prioritization of the marital bond
Amongst marriage commandments, a principle that is most often overlooked or not taken seriously is probably this commandment. Before having a child, partners find it easier to prioritize their relationship.
However, after having children, in the process of adjusting to the host of new responsibilities as parents, the relationship takes the back seat.
Partners are often found prioritizing parenting, household responsibilities, careers, and more, before their marital bond.
However, it’s essential to remember that marriage is what enables you to experience parenthood. So, it’s very important to prioritize your marriage above parenting.
Here’s a take on prioritizing spouse:
3. Speaking poorly should be avoided
Another one of the top marriage commandments is fighting the urge to speak poorly of your beloved to other people irrespective of how irritated or angry you are at them. Think of the biblical commandment that speaks about the importance of not taking the Almighty’s name in vain.
Similarly, it’s not a great idea to take your significant other’s name in vain. It’s not a great idea to rant about your conflicts or arguments with your beloved on social media or spill too much information with your friends or relatives, right?
It can be very hurtful and disrespectful for your beloved and hurting them in this way is not fair. When you do feel that strong urge to rant to others about your significant other stop for a second. Now think.
Would you be okay with your beloved sharing the intimate details (especially the negative stuff) to their friends? Think about the answer and then decide how you’d like to proceed.
4. Respect for in-laws is important
It’s always important to remember that when you’re marrying someone, you aren’t just becoming related to that person by law. You’ve also gained a whole bunch of new relatives through the marriage.
And amongst those relatives, your mother-in-law and father-in-law are probably the two most valuable relationships that have resulted from the marriage.
In a relationship, it is crucial to be respectful and loving towards your beloved’s parents. Major issues with the in-laws can jeopardize your marriage very easily.
Initiating arguments, behaving aggressively, or passive-aggressively with your in-laws is a big no-no. Being assertive is absolutely alright.
A biblical commandment states that one should not kill. Now think about this commandment in the light of marriage commandments.
You may be wondering about what could potentially kill marriages, right?
Playing manipulative mind games, holding onto grudges and resentments towards your beloved, considering legal separation/divorce, and injecting bitterness in your marital bond with your beloved are just some of the many ways in which marriages can be ruined.
So yes, it’s important to preserve and protect the marital relationship by avoiding playing manipulative mind games and the blame game.
One of the most important marriage commandments out of the ten commandments for husbands and wives is to totally avoid getting competitive with your beloved.
Remember that marriage isn’t some sort of competition with your partner about who is more successful in their careers, social relationships, etc.
If your wife is earning more than you are, instead of trying to compete with her and probably ruin her motivation or mood, it’s much better to be her support system and cheerleader.
Being supportive instead of competitive is something that you should definitely consider implementing in your marriage. When you don’t compete with your beloved, it shows that you aren’t a petty human.
You’re secure in yourself and in your marriage. It shows respect, honesty, and love from your end.
7. Spend exclusive time together
Aah! Another classic marriage commandment. You must’ve seen this commandment coming in this list, right? Even though this commandment isn’t new to you, it’s worth noting that spending exclusive time with your significant other warrants mindfulness and intentionality.
When you are spending time with your spouse, it’s important to be intentional and mindful of that precious time. Remember to put those gadgets away and focus on each other.
Also, when both partners take the initiative to spend quality time together, it’s a wonderful expression of how grateful you are about having found your beloved. It shows gratitude as well as respect.
Although you may be wondering why there’s a separate commandment about being grateful, the thing is- an expression of gratitude in marriage consists of a lot of different activities.
Apart from using the love language®) of words of affirmation, where you regularly express your gratitude for your partner verbally, physical intimacy, sexual intimacy, and acts of service are also great ways to express your gratitude.
A nice long kiss or hug, some late-night cuddles, an exciting sex life are just some of the many ways in which you can show your gratitude to your significant other.
Now, this is one of those marriage commandments that can sort of determining the frequency of conflicts or arguments that you’ll have with your beloved. Finances are one of the most common causes of conflict amongst married couples.
That’s why the importance of financial transparency in a marriage is undeniable. Transparent and collaborative financial planning is necessary in marriages.
10. Acceptance of imperfections
This is potentially the easiest marriage commandment to explain and probably one of the most difficult commandments to execute. Humans are flawed beings.
Therefore, burdening yourself and your beloved with unrealistic expectations about your significant other is hurtful and pointless. Every individual comes with their share of baggage. But the beauty of marriage is to accept one’s beloved as a whole (imperfections included)!
Now that you’re aware of what are the 10 commandments and the importance of marriage commandments, consider slowly implementing the aforementioned commandments! To do this, you and your beloved may consider going for couple counseling or doing a course on marriage commandments.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.