Soon it is your time.
You, as the groom, will publicly share your personal vows with all the guests at your wedding.
You shouldn’t be, not with the tips that this article will provide you.
If you are still unsure about writing your vows, this article can give you some practical tips on coming up with genuine, unique vows.
Your bride-to-be will sure love the idea of sharing personal, memorable wedding vows. But it is a lot harder than you might think. How to be original without having all these insider jokes? Should you be funny or clever? Should you share personal details or stories in your vows?
First things first
Before you start writing your vows, make sure everybody is on the same page. This might seem like an open door – it is. But nonetheless don’t take it for granted. Not every priest or rabbi is okay with scrapping their Biblical passage for a personal vow.
And, perhaps even more important, is your partner also willing to write personal vows? Perhaps you are a much more talented writer and she has more trouble with words then do you.
So make sure everybody is on the same page.
Share some ideas with your partner – really!
One of the best ways to come up with beautiful vows is to talk with your partner. She might have some topics that she would rather not discuss. Perhaps you can share a few lines, or even paragraphs to make sure you have the same idea.
Will your vows be personal or formal? Will they include personal anecdotes? And so on.
Keep things appropriate
Another open door perhaps, but it needs to be said:
Never say anything that might be inappropriate, not even if you think it’s funny or clever.
Do not reference sex. And certainly do not reference one of your exes.
You can incorporate some humor in your toast, but definitely not in your vow.
Do not use profanity as it will be in such contrast with the other parts of your vows that people will only remember the profanity.
Grooms vow: How to structure your vow
Writing your own vows might seem hard, but with the right structure in place in becomes way easier. What follows below is a typical structure that you can use for your own, personalized vow.
State your name, her name and your intention for wanting to marry.
“I, ____, stand here to take you, ____, to be my wife and lifelong partner in marriage.”
Part 1 – picking up the pace
Once again state why you intend to marry and what the marriage means to you. You might want to think about what you value most about your partner, or perhaps you want to reference a beautiful memory or when you knew she was the one.
“As husband and wife, I know we will be able to overcome any challenges and accomplish anything. From the moment we first met in high school, I knew you and I were meant to be together. We began dating and my feelings grew stronger every day. I never doubted my love for you, not for a second. I still love you more and more with each and every passing day.”
Part 2 – finish strong
What promises do you want to make? Think this through as these promises will last a lifetime.
“From this moment forward, with you by my side, I promise to always live by the vows that I make today. I promise to be the best spouse I can be and to be a loving father for our children. I will love you in sickness and in health. I will love you whether we are rich or poor. I now pledge to hold these promises dear to my heart, for the rest of my life.“
Well done, this might just be the perfect draft for your vows as a groom.
Just keep in mind that it really does not matter how long your vows are. It is much more important what you say. Your vows should be no longer than one minute.
Need a hand? Here are some examples of groom vows.
Best friend wedding vow
“ ____, I love you. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle.
I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort.
I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.”
Life companion wedding vow
“ Today, ____, I join my life to yours, not merely as your husband, but as your friend, your lover, and your confidant. Let me be the shoulder you lean on, the rock on which you rest, the companion of your life. With you I will walk my path from this day forward.”
Dream and prayer wedding vow
“ I love you. Today is a very special day.
Long ago you were just a dream and a prayer.
Thank you for being what you are to me.
With our future as bright as the promises of God, I will care for you, honor and protect you.
I will love you, for now and always.”
Being creative and memorable
It is time to get those creative juices flowing. Jot down ideas and just simply start writing. Your initial vow does not have to be perfect. Simply write down ideas, edit and then edit some more.
As soon as you are happy with your vows, make sure you memorize them. Memorize, then practice. Memorize, then practice some more. Just take a few minutes each day to memorize your personal vows.