Counseling before marriage presents an opportunity for couples to address potential conflict areas in their relationship. It enables couples to prevent petty issues from becoming a crisis and also helps them recognize their expectations from each other in the marriage.
Premarital counseling is usually provided by a licensed therapist, or in some cases, even religious institutes offer premarital counseling.
While answering your questions before marriage, a pre-marriage counselor may help you reach an agreement over problematic issues and establish open and honest communication with each other.
This is because your answers give the therapist more insight into you as individuals and as a couple. Plus, they open up communication about issues that will be a part of married life.
Pre-marriage counseling questions categories
This category of premarital counseling questions is where the couple examine the emotional strength of their relationship and how compatible they are on an emotional level. Marriages with strong emotional compatibility thrive as the spouses comprehend each other’s emotional needs.
Pre-marriage questions about communication help a couple realize how they would reciprocate to their partner’s exchange of emotion, desires, and beliefs. Furthermore, answering these premarital questions aids them in resolving any past, present or future conflicts.
Many people compromise their career aspirations for the sake of their marriage. However, it impedes their personal and professional growth. Couples who fail to understand how demanding their career can be, often find themselves fighting and arguing with each other later on.
Answering pre-marriage counseling questions about their career aspirations allows them to set some expectations and create a balance with their partner’s inputs.
Before getting married, couples should handle the aspect of financial planning and discuss each other’s financial habits and expectations.
Financial planning before marriage might help you save some time and money and asking each other money-related questions to answer before marriage will help you and your partner prepare for any unexpected crisis.
As insignificant as it may sound, but answering marriage counseling questions before marriage about the allocation of household chores and duties can help you manage the stress level in your marriage.
Set expectations and manage the household chores efficiently so that these are shared and properly executed.
For this, you may:
Divide the chores between the two of you
Take turns doing different tasks on a weekly or daily basis
Take a look at what marriage expert Mary Kay Cocharo has to say about the importance of both pre and post-marriage counseling sessions:
Sex and intimacy
From understanding what intimacy is in a marriage to knowing about your partner’s sexual desires, questions about sex and intimacy can help you familiarize yourself with your partner on an emotional and physical level.
If you are going for a pre-wedding preparation before your church wedding, then asking pre-cana questions in your sessions on this topic is necessary as well to improve intimacy and sex in your marriage.
Family and friends
Answering marriage counseling questions before marriage about how each of you would manage your time between your spouse and your respective family and friends can help you set certain expectations and avoid uncomfortable conversations in the future.
Pre-marriage counseling questions on family planning can help you weigh in the issues that might serve as an obstacle to childbearing. Analyzing your values and motives of either having or not having kids can prepare you and your spouse for future challenges.
Counseling questions centered around one’s religion can aid couples in understanding the extent of their religious compatibility. For example, Christian premarital counseling questions or Jewish pre-marriage counseling questions would also be helpful for Christian and Jewish couples to differentiate between faith and religion.
It can also guide them on how to respect their partners’ choices and express their spirituality.
Going over these questions with your soon-to-be spouse can help you both gain valuable insight into how you feel about important issues and how each of you will handle them.
Pre-Marriage Counseling Questions
The following are a sampling of important pre-marriage counseling questions worth answering together.
Are we happy with our sex life, or do we want more?
How can we make our sex life better?
Are we comfortable talking about our sexual desires and needs?
Are we satisfied with the amount of romance and affection? What do we want more of?
7. Family and friends
How often will we see our families?
How will we divide the holidays?
How often will we see our friends, separately and as a couple?
Do we want to have children?
When do we want to have children?
How many children do we want?
What will we do if we cannot have children? Is adoption an option?
Which one of us will stay home with the children?
What are our religious beliefs and how will we include them in our lives?
How will we maintain/combine our different religious beliefs and traditions?
Will we raise our children with religious beliefs and traditions? If so, which of our beliefs are different?
These are just some of the questions that couples are asked when they attend pre-marriage counseling. Talking about these issues before marriage can help you both feel better prepared for marriage and the responsibilities and issues that come with it.
Answering these questions together lets you learn more about each other to help avoid any surprises that could later lead to serious conflict in your marriage.
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Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.