Personal wedding vows are a pledge of life, soul, and faith in the other person that defines a life commitment like nothing else.
Because the commitment is so distinct for those who honor it, as it is meant to be honored, the standard marital vows may not always be enough to express the unique feeling an individual has for their chosen love.
Placing a unique stamp on a ceremony with personal wedding vows allows a couple to personalize that extraordinary day when they commit their lives to one another.
Re-writing a long-standing tradition and making it meaningful and at least at par with the standard vows is a bit of a cumbersome task. It is likely you will not want to dispense with the ideas suggested by those vows which have both stood the test of time and evolved to this point.
Let’s look at the traditional vows and why they are so special to so many and so enduring and ingrained in our lifestyle.
The actual wording of traditional vows varies, but virtually every religion vows are a pledge of faith and love in isolation from adversity. That is, the reassurance is a statement of dedication to the life partner is to be unbroken regardless of circumstance, fate, ill luck, misfortune, or another unexpected calamity.
It is good to take this as a historical lesson when considering creating your vows, and it is the perfect place to start.
So, how to write personal wedding vows?
Just follow the suggestions mentioned below, and you can come up with your script for unique wedding vows.
Use positive words and imagery in your personalized vows
One of the curious aspects of many traditional vows is the rather dark side of the wording.
One of the typical ‘personal wedding vows’ examples is – “I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.” “I, ___, take you, ___, to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health”.
But, mentioning “worse,” “poorer,” “sickness,” and “death” may feel like something to mar a moment that might otherwise be filled with great optimism. Avoiding the negative implication of these words while writing personal wedding vows is relatively easy. So, just remember to stress on dedication to your partner and their well-being.
Personalize your vows with appropriate details
Emotional vows can be based on personalized words or only the lyrics to a meaningful song. The vows are best, however, when they are a genuine, heartfelt declaration to your partner.
Use details about your partner that are appropriate for the audience yet personal enough to express the unique feelings you have for your partner as an individual and make them a part of your personal wedding vows.
Be sure your partner approves the content
Check everything with your partner when you are writing marriage vows on your own. Wedding day, the intensity of the ceremony and the presence of the audience creates a situation that is not the place for awkward surprises.
If you want to include a surprise, you need to check it out with a close friend, relative or confidant — and likely more than one of those. Be sure that everything included is offensive to no one.
Write it down and do it well in advance of the ceremony
If you are going with the custom wedding vows, dedicate ten or fifteen minutes a day — perhaps while brushing your teeth or having a morning cup of coffee — to review your progress and add to it every day.
This will serve the purpose of refining what you’ve written as well as making you remember it.
If you are not a writer and are having trouble getting into the swing, search online for “personalized wedding vows” or “writing your wedding vows examples” to get some inspiration.
It is possible to use existing vows, and many are published and shared all over the internet.
Your partner may appreciate your personalization and creativity, however. When in doubt, just start with the traditional vows and make replacements with words and ideas you like better.
Whatever you do, sit down with a piece of paper, and start jotting down ideas — collect your own, collect parts of those you search online, write down the traditional vows, write down snippets of your favorite love songs, extract words from books, etc.
The page will always remain blank unless you start writing on it. Don’t expect that what you write has to be perfect immediately, and allow yourself to make mistakes.
After collecting some ideas, even if they feel incomplete, that may be the best time to begin consulting with your partner.
The process of putting together something as unique as personal wedding vows to your husband or wife that you are proud of might take weeks even though the vow itself may end up being short. It is okay if it takes a while to distill.
It is essential that what you write has impact and meaning.
Read your vow out loud every day in the months before the service
Finally, use the review time you have set daily to read the vow out loud. Doing it every day for several months will help you memorize it, make it flow better when you are reading it, and eliminate mistakes.
You probably won’t have to memorize it, but doing so can make it seem more natural when it is your turn to say your ‘personal wedding vows’ aloud to the whole world.
Your nerves will likely not be on your side even if you are usually comfortable in front of an audience, but knowing that you are familiar with reciting the words will certainly make it easier to perform your personal marriage vows at your wedding ceremony.
Also, for more ideas, watch this video on what your wedding vows should say.
In writing your personal wedding vows to husband or wife, the goal is not so much to wow the world as it is to say something meaningful to your partner.
It is okay to have fun. But, understanding the purpose of wedding vows can help you to script one and woo your partner.
Personal wedding vows are all about leaving your mark on the moment. Enjoy the process and create something you are happy to share as you share a beautiful day with your partner, family, and guests.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.