After a healthy separation which involved your support systems, counselors and full commitment of both partners; finally your marriage is restored. There is no guarantee of a smooth ride you have to work smart to keep the fire burning especially if unfaithfulness was part of the reason for separation. The bottom line is that there is hope despite all the challenges both of you have had to undergo. The four main hurdles you might face as you start the journey towards your marriage restoration include
Trust and security
Infidelity, for example, leads to the destruction of feelings and lack of trust. Once you have undergone all the processes while in a healthy separation; you have to rebuild your trust towards each other. The person who broke the marriage covenant must prove this through actions. Ask for forgiveness as your spouse unconditionally accepts the pardon. It is not the right time to project one’s feelings but a time to accept the apologies and forge ahead as husband and wife.
The wounded partner faces confusion, with several questions in the mind, trying to find faults on one’s threat to sexual identity that caused immorality in the family. This is the time the affected partner requires the spouse’s shoulder to lean on for reassurance of an intact emotional space. That hope is the first step into a fruitful marriage life after betrayal and mistrust.
Facing the reality
Marriage restoration is the practical part of the promises. The initial stages are faced with doubts, at the same time; a partner might have made a vow which he may find it difficult to sustain. This is the point one faces a mix-up and dilemma because of the fear of divorce; a sense of emotional distance is expected but with support from all parties it will finally be a smooth ride.
Inadequate trust or be trusted
The moment the marital bed is defiled, automatically there is no confidence, yet it is an essential virtue in marriage restoration. It will take the time to attain normalcy in the relationship depending on acceptance and forgiveness of the aggrieved partner to forget and willingness to forge a head. Genuine engagements and reassurance of a “changed mind” is the ultimate solution to a fulfilling marriage after the breakdown of the marital covenant.
Religious institutions play a key role, through faithful counseling, in allowing couples solve their conflicts from a spiritual perspective, without separation. If all partners believe in the same Supreme Being then the power of faith in marriage restoration directs them to the right path.
In fact, forgiveness is an act of faith, as long as all parties open up and accept their role in marriage hurdles then restoring the marriage institution works to their benefit. It is a process that requires love and respect in marriage.
Benefits of marriage restoration
1. Renewed love
You have seen marriage from a negative and a positive angle, the fact that you have managed to restore it means you have a renewed sense of love giving you a chance to explore each other’s strengths and complement your weaknesses giving you a fulfilling marriage.
You can now talk freely without fear, of course, with love and respect. You have no reservation on how your partner may take your opinion. You can comfortably discuss your issues and even argue over different schools of thought to come up with a solution comfortable for both parties.
If you can handle unfaithfulness until your partner confesses and asks for forgiveness then it opens your heart for change or rather enhance ones wishes in life, enhancing the joy to share and support your partner in their high and low moments.
A successfully restored marriage enjoys all the conviction from one another. You have no secrets in the family which bring insecurities or doubt. It allows married couples to share responsibilities without anyone feeling burdened. This is the time you can openly talk about finances without having any secret bank accounts.
Marriage restoration after a betrayal of one’s trust entirely relies on forgiveness which is a process which you need to nurture. You do not expect to have an instant change but any effort towards a change in character for the better requires appreciation to boost one’s ego even to do more. After some time, you get to enjoy all the benefits of a restored marriage.