Can infidelity counseling restore a marriage weakened by betrayal, cheating and affairs?
You might have read that as much as half of all marriages will ultimately end in divorce. And why is that? There are actually a myriad of reasons from poor communication and financial strains to intimacy problems and a lack of effort to make the relationship last.
Yet one of the leading reasons is actually infidelity.
According to many reports, as much as 30-60 percent of marriages will experience infidelity.
That’s why it’s so important to see a marriage counselor. Not only if you and/or your spouse have a serious problem that could threaten your relationship, but in general.
A therapist is a qualified advocate for your relationship
One way to look at marriage counselors is they are people who serve as a qualified advocate for your relationship. They are going to provide you with tips and tools to keep your marriage healthy and happy.
If you’re someone who has experienced infidelity in marriage, it’s even more important to see a counselor; to get involved in some extensive marriage infidelity counseling.
Effects of infidelity on the cheated partner
Infidelity impacts both the cheating partner and the partner who has been cheated upon. In case there are kids, there are spillover effects on children too.
- Anxiety and depression
- Post trauma stress disorder
- Lack of self esteem
- Poor concentration
- Loss of confidence
- Over eating
- Self sabotage
- Withholding sex as punishment
- Paranoia or a constant sense of insecurity
Benefits of marriage counseling after infidelity
Marriage counseling after infidelity can help you to mend the marriage after cheating. Counseling for infidelity can help both the partners in recovering from the wounds of infidelity and prevent the marriage from ending.
If you’ve thought about it but you’re not totally sure if it’s the right decision for your marriage and situation, here are five big benefits of visiting infidelity counselors, that will hopefully convince you to make an appointment as soon as possible.
1. Counseling focuses on the root of infidelity
One of the biggest assumptions that people tend to make when it comes to an affair is that it’s all about the affair when really the affair tends to point to other blaring issues within the relationship.
During infidelity counseling, a marriage counselor is going to be able to ask the kinds of questions that will help you and your spouse to discover what was going on within the marriage; things that ultimately resulted in an affair.
2. You need a safe place to talk about it
Trying to contain your affair to the point that no one knows about it is unhealthy on a myriad of levels. At the same time, you need to be confident that you what you do choose to share will be kept in total confidence.
A marriage counselor has the professional and moral obligation to not breach your trust.
That’s actually something that can provide you with a lot of comfort being that your trust levels are probably very fragile during this time.
A marriage counseling for infidelity gives you a safe space to explore and process why the affair happened, develop skills to navigate the challenges of the current situation, and deciding between dissolving the marriage amicably or repairing the broken relationship.
3. You also need help in processing your emotions
One of the best things about participating in marriage infidelity counseling is that a marriage counselor is solutions-oriented.
This means that although they will certainly encourage you to talk about how you feel and even encourage you to experience sadness and anger, they are not going to want you to stew in those emotions.
A marriage counselor is going to provide you with effective strategies for how to both express as well as process your emotions.
That way, you can work through your feelings and then make a decision about your marriage that is not based on how you feel about the affair but what you ultimately desire for your marriage.
4. It can help you to figure out what’s next
It’s understandable why, after an affair, sometimes all that the couple can think about is the affair itself. But there’s going to need to come a time when you’ll need to make a decision about what’s next.
If you decide to stay together (which would be awesome!), a marriage counselor can provide you with some effective steps for taking your marriage beyond the affair.
Infidelity counseling can even make your marriage stronger than before.
5. It can help you to avoid affairs in the future
Going to infidelity counseling and seeing a counselor about an affair is not just so that you can work through the affair. It will help you find answer to the question if your spouse is truly remorseful, owns up their actions, and is truly willing to resurrect the broken relationship.
It’s also so that you and your spouse can come up with ways to prevent an affair from happening again or take insights from the struggles and underlying issues for a better future with or without each other.
And that may actually be the best reason of all to see a counselor about this issue.
To know that there’s someone in your corner who is qualified to help you get your marriage on track is time (and money) well spent. For this reason, please make it a priority to see a marriage counselor soon.
Whether you want to save your relationship or dissolve your marriage, infidelity counseling after any form of infidelity – sexual, cyber or emotional, is critical.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Shellie Warren