Putting relationship conflict to rest is one of the biggest challenges one has to deal with.
If conflicts go unresolved, they create and build tension between the husband and wife. Prolonged conflicts also push two people further from each other. For this reason, putting relationship conflicts to rest is never a good idea.
Not putting relationship conflict to rest, can lead to resentment and become an even bigger problem than the one you were facing already.
So how can you resolve such a conflict successfully in your relationship? One great way you can do it is to use the “putting relationship conflict to rest” advice.
The rest method is the best way for reaching marriage conflict resolution. So let’s talk about this method in detail.
The REST method involves four different steps. These include:
R- Reviewing the problem
E- Evaluating Options
S- Solving Problem
T- Tracking Progress
1. Reviewing the problem
Many times, couples make the mistake of jumping ahead to solve the problem, even before they can identify what the main issue is.
In doing so, they create problems that weren’t even there to begin with. For this reason, you must sit down with your significant other and find out the exact issue.
Once you pinpoint the main problem, moving on to the next step will become super easy. Also, while doing this, you can use the drive-through method of communication as well.
This method works similar to how a drive-through window works.
One person is supposed to talk at a time, and then the other has to repeat what they have heard and how they have heard it.
Another thing to keep in mind is that you need to focus on sticking to the “I” as much as you can instead of playing the blame game and going on the “you.”
Make sure that you talk about how you are feeling instead of accusing the other person. Try to discuss the feelings instead of the facts and avoid giving out your opinions or assuming how the other person feels.
Also watch: What Is a Relationship Conflict?
2. Evaluate options
Now that you have figured out the real issue, discuss the different options you must follow to solve it.
This can be the beginning of you putting relationship conflict to rest.
Again, you must make use of the drive-through communication method. Make sure that you do not criticize the options by rejecting them right away or saying things like “yeah, right” or “this will never work.”
Be as specific as you want but don’t just say things like “spend less money” but come up with solutions that are not hurtful and can be measured.
Try to make this session as a brainstorming session where you can write down any solution that comes to your mind. Discuss and talk through each option, and you might read a good one.
3. Solve the problem
This is the step in putting relationship conflict to rest where you have to select one option and then put it into action.
During this process, make sure that you are open to compromising; also, keep in mind that if things do not work out, then you can easily re-address the options and the issue later on.
Also, due to brainstorming, you will have a lot of other viable options to go with.
This is an incredibly important step and is one that should not be skipped out.
Set down a specific time where you can sit down and discuss how the solution is working out for you do. This tracking must be done within three days or even two weeks after you have applied the solution. Do not make it go longer than that.
Here again, you must use the drive-through communication method.
Take a look at the options you have chosen and see if they were followed through. Then take a look at the solution and how it has turned out to be; whether it has solved the problem or not. Don’t be discouraged if things don’t go perfectly.
Understand that this is a process, and you are allowed to make adjustments. You can even go back to step one and select another problem-solving option if the first one doesn’t work.
With the above guideline putting your relationship conflict to rest can act as the perfect advice during marriage trouble. This advice helps in allowing the partners to breathe and then resolve their problems.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.