24 Clear Signs You’re in a Fake Relationship

In a time when singles are looking for meaningful connections more than ever, it’s surprising to learn that the dating world is full of fake relationships too.

Blame social media, blame months in lockdown, blame dating apps – whoever the culprit is, one thing is for sure: fake relationships are a toxic reality.

When you scan the social media posts of fake relationship couples, you would never know they were putting on a front.

You would see myriads of tagged photos of smooching couples who look as happy as they can be, only to realize they’re not. They’re just acting up for some reason.

Unlike a real relationship that grows and progresses, these fake relationships are most likely stunted by problems.

How to define a fake relationship?

A fake relationship is one where one or both partners pretend to be in love or committed but lack genuine feelings or intentions for a real, lasting connection.

From the outside looking in, a fake relationship looks like any other happy couple in love. But on the inside, something just isn’t right.

When you are in a fake relationship, you’ll be able to feel it. Maybe not right away, but eventually, you’ll start to sense the telltale signs that your partner isn’t as invested in your relationship as you once thought.

How will I know what fake love feels like?

Fake love feels like a void where true love should be. Fake love often feels insincere, lacks depth, and may come across as manipulative. It may leave you questioning the other person’s true intentions and doubting the authenticity of their affection.

Instead of romantic gestures and whispers in your ear, your relationship will feel shallower and more surface-level.

And deep conversations? You can forget them.

What you’ll be left with is a relationship based on sex with very little talking, connecting, and plenty of arguments and irritation.

True love vs fake love: How can you tell?

True love will leave you feeling good about yourself and your life. Fake love will not. Let’s understand it like this.

When you are deeply in love with someone, you will feel:

• Satisfied
• Respected
• Happy

When someone is faking love for you, you may feel:

• Insecure
• Unhappy
• Lonely
• Like you’re walking on eggshells

24 signs you are in a fake relationship

Everybody wants to be liked. So, whether it’s a friendship or a romance, nobody wants to admit they see signs of a fake relationship in their lives.

If you want to have healthy relationships, you need to know the difference between true love and fake love.

Here are 24 tips for how to tell if someone is real or fake:

1. They’re comfortable, not in love

Think showing fake love is always sinister? Think again.

Sometimes faking love in a relationship is more about banishing loneliness than taking advantage of someone.

If you feel more like your partner’s plus one than the spouse they adore, it could be that your lover is just filling a lonely void with your company.

2. You lack emotional intimacy

Does your spouse ask you questions?

Do they want to get to know you on an emotional level?

If not, you may have a problem in your relationship.

One of the signs of a fake person/signs of a fake relationship is someone who never delves deeper than the surface.

Without emotional intimacy, your relationship will never progress to anything more profound than friends with benefits.

3. The relationship feels shallow

One way to tell if someone is real or fake is by how they treat your relationship.

• Does your partner show they value your time and company?
• Do you know anything personal about each other?
• Do things sometimes feel mechanical or one-sided?

If your relationship constantly feels shallow or like it’s all for the show, it probably is.

4. You’re changing to accommodate your partner

If your partner is showing fake love, you can feel it.

Their lack of commitment and the inability to give genuine affection is probably driving you crazy. It may even cause you to try different things to get them to fall for you.

The difference between true love and fake love is that true love will have your partner accepting you for who you are, whereas, in fake love, your partner will watch you change your whole personality just to please them.

5. You’re always the one initiating things

Have you ever received a fake love text message? For example, does your partner send you romantic things via text and then act like a completely different person when you see them in real life?

One of the biggest signs of a fake relationship is one-sided affection.

If you find you’re always the one initiating conversation, making dates, and reaching out via text, you’re probably in a fake relationship.

6. The relationship constantly feels like it’s ending

One of the signs of telling someone is fake is if the relationship always feels like you’re standing on the edge of a precipice.

All couples argue, even the happiest ones, but you shouldn’t feel like your relationship is crashing to an end every time you disagree about something.

7. You don’t put each other first

You’ll quickly learn how to tell if someone is real or fake by the way that they treat you.

Someone who is madly in love will do anything to make their partner happy.

On the other hand, pretending to love someone is an exhausting game, and someone who is faking love isn’t going to make their spouse a priority.

8. You can’t rely on them

Another one of the big signs of a fake person is a lack of accountability and relationship responsibility.

If your spouse is faking love in a relationship, they won’t put much effort into your connection. Unfortunately, this means you won’t be able to rely on them or trust them.

9. The relationship lacks depth

How to tell if someone is being fake in a relationship? By realizing that they aren’t putting any effort into connecting on a deeper level.

One of the more common signs of a fake relationship is never being alone together unless it’s for sex.

This is because your partner isn’t interested in getting deep with you. They’re not concerned about building true intimacy. Instead, they just want to ensure they have a plus-one to a fun social event.

10. Their words are worthless

Your partner may send you a fake love text message that’s filled with all the right things that you need to hear, but do their words ever live up to their actions?

People showing fake love practically have split personalities. They say one thing, but they mean another.

11. They are really into their social media

One big tip for how to tell if someone is real or fake is to study how they use their social media.

• If you have a big date or anniversary coming up, they spam social media with lovey-dovey selfies of the two of you.
• If they give you a gift, they expect you to show it off online.
• They frequently use their social media as an outlet to gush about how in love they are

These are all warning signs that your spouse is more obsessed with their social media standing and relationship goals than they are with building a life with you.

Not only is this annoying, but studies show that social media addiction can lead to depression and lowered relationship satisfaction.

12. You have no future plans

One of the signs of a fake relationship going nowhere is being in a relationship with someone who avoids having ‘the talk.’

They don’t make plans with you – whether it’s long-term plans or making a date even a week from now.

When it comes to true love vs. fake love, true love will build toward something tangible, while fake love will remain stagnant.

13. Indifference reigns supreme

Faking love in a relationship involves very little emotion. So if your spouse is only pretending to love you, they may not put much stock in how you feel, what you’re doing, or who you are.

When someone truly loves you, they will make you feel validated and safe.

On the other hand, indifference toward your happiness -and your relationship in general- is one of the biggest signs of a fake person.

14. You don’t communicate

A report published by the Epidemiology and Health Journal found that communication was an essential pillar of a happy, satisfying relationship.

People showing fake love are not bothered to work on their communication skills.

When pretending to love someone, that person is more concerned with being charming and getting what they want rather than communicating and growing as a couple.

15. You haven’t met each other’s friends or family

Another way to tell if someone is fake is if they never introduce you to their friends or family.

They have no desire to integrate you into your life, so they don’t bother introducing you to the people who are most important to them.

16. They put on a show for other people

One of the tips for how to tell if someone is real or fake is how they act in front of their friends and family.

• Does your partner completely change personality when they’re in a social group?
• Do they send you over-the-top, fake love text messages when they know your friends are around?
• Do they treat you like a prize when you are out in public but seem indifferent to you when you’re alone?

If so, these are all signs that you are in a fake relationship.

17. They always seem bored

When someone is into you, you can feel it. Their excitement to see you and plan your next date is practically palpable.

On the other hand, one of the biggest signs of a fake person is boredom.

When you pretend to love someone, you won’t put the time or effort into being spontaneous and creating new and exciting memories together.

18. Your relationship is only about sex

Another one of the signs of a fake relationship is an unhealthy attachment to sex.

Sex is essential in a marriage, but it shouldn’t define an entire relationship.

When it comes to true love vs. fake love, true love will have you looking beyond just the physical. True love will lead you to emotional intimacy, making fun plans together, and getting to know each other on a deeper level.

If you and your spouse seem to gravitate towards physical intimacy and nothing but, it could be a sign your relationship is surface-level only.

19. Things are never easy

One of the easiest ways to tell if someone is fake is to watch the way they solve the conflict.

If someone is faking love in a relationship, turmoil will usually follow.

People showing fake love will not have the patience or affection it takes to resolve conflict in a healthy, respectful way.

20. You have a gut feeling

One of the easiest ways to tell if someone is real or fake is to listen to what your stomach is telling you – figuratively, of course.

Your gut feeling is your inner instinct; it’s that funny feeling in the back of your mind that’s telling you something is off.

Once you hear alarm bells going off at a fake love text message, or you raise an eyebrow at the signs of a fake person in your life, get out of there!

21. No personal growth

In a healthy relationship, both partners should inspire and support each other’s personal growth and development. However, in a fake relationship, you might notice that there is little to no encouragement for personal improvement. 

Your partner may not show any interest in your goals, ambitions, or self-improvement endeavors. They may not celebrate your achievements or provide constructive feedback when you face challenges. Likewise, they may not be making efforts to grow personally themselves. 

22. Emotional drain

Being in a fake relationship can be emotionally draining. Instead of feeling uplifted and supported, you might constantly feel emotionally exhausted. This can result from various factors, such as frequent conflicts, unresolved issues, or a lack of emotional connection. 

Your partner may contribute to this emotional drain by being dismissive of your feelings or consistently causing stress and anxiety. In such relationships, you may find yourself expending a lot of emotional energy without receiving the emotional support and nourishment you need in return.

23. Superficial apologies

In a genuine relationship, when one person makes a mistake or hurts the other, sincere apologies are essential for repairing the emotional bonds. However, in a fake relationship, apologies can become superficial and insincere. 

Your partner might say sorry to appease you or diffuse a situation without genuinely understanding or addressing the underlying issues. These superficial apologies lack the commitment to change behavior, and the same hurtful actions or patterns often repeat.

24. Social media disconnect

In the age of social media, the way your partner presents your relationship online can be indicative of its authenticity. A social media disconnect may mean that your partner is not fully invested in the relationship or is trying to keep it hidden. 

Signs of this disconnect could include a lack of posts or pictures of you together, limited interaction or acknowledgment on social platforms, or even the absence of any indication that you’re in a relationship at all. 

While not everyone is comfortable with public displays of their relationships online, a stark absence of any acknowledgment can raise concerns about the legitimacy of the relationship and the level of commitment from your partner.

How to end a fake relationship

When you learn how to tell if someone is fake and sense these destructive behaviors in your partner – you end things.

Nobody should have to be in a relationship where one partner is only pretending to love someone.

But how do you go about ending a fake relationship, especially if you’ve already been together for quite some time?

1. Communicate your feelings

Don’t let your partner brush off your request to have a real conversation, and don’t be taken in by a fake love text message.

Instead, sit down and have a proper heart-to-heart with your spouse about what you need from your relationship. If they can’t give it to you, leave.

2. Cut off contact

When you learn the difference between true love vs. fake love, it will make it easier to cut off contact with your ex.

Having them around, even ‘as a friend, will only tempt you to get back together with them.

3. Stand firm

Don’t let your ex bully you into getting back together. Instead, use this time to focus on yourself and devote your energy to personal growth.

For a detailed approach to ending a toxic relationship, watch this video:

Commonly asked questions

Relationships can be both rewarding and challenging. 

Sometimes, we find ourselves in situations that feel less than genuine. In this set of questions, we’ll explore the significance of identifying fake relationships, the reasons people enter them, and the path to healing if you’ve been in one.

• Why is it important to be able to identify a fake relationship?

Being able to spot a fake relationship is vital to protect your emotional well-being. It helps you avoid investing time and effort in something insincere, allowing you to focus on genuine connections that bring happiness and fulfillment.

• What are the reasons why people get into fake relationships?

People enter fake relationships for various reasons, such as societal pressure, fear of loneliness, or personal gain. They may pretend to love or commit to someone without genuine feelings, leading to an inauthentic connection.

• How can I heal from a fake relationship?

Healing from a fake relationship involves self-reflection, seeking support from friends or a therapist, and giving yourself time to grieve and move on. Rebuilding self-esteem and trusting your instincts are key steps toward recovery.

• What are the consequences of being in a fake relationship?

Being in a fake relationship can lead to emotional distress, wasted time, and damage to your self-esteem. It may also hinder your ability to form genuine connections in the future, highlighting the importance of identifying and ending such relationships promptly.

No more faking!

Faking love in a relationship is toxic. Pretending to love someone for the sake of masking loneliness or for more nefarious reasons is wrong.

It leads people on and usually makes them feel worse about themselves, not better.

Once you learn how to tell if someone is real or fake and spot the signs of a fake relationship, it’s best to turn the other way and run.

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Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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