10 Ways to Deal With an Asexual Partner

There are many types of relationships where one partner has needs that are a bit different from the other person, but this is fine. 

If your partner is asexual, you may be concerned about this, but you don’t need to be. You simply need to learn more about what this means and research information on how to deal with an asexual partner.

What does it mean to be asexual?

Generally speaking, being asexual means that a person has no desire to have sex. Of course, all asexual individuals are different, and there are multiple types of asexuality, so you’ll have to talk to your partner to know exactly how they feel. 

In some cases, a person will still be able to have sex with someone that they care deeply for, and in other cases, this may not possible. If you are dating an asexual person, you should talk to them to learn more about how they feel and what their sexuality means to them.

10 signs of an asexual partner

If you are wondering what is an asexual partner, this is a partner that often has no desire to have sex with someone or doesn’t experience attraction sexually. 

Here are 10 signs to look for that may indicate that my girlfriend is asexual or my boyfriend is asexual. Keep in mind that these are simple signs and that everyone is different.

• They have little or no interest in sex.
• They don’t talk about sex.
• You may have a connection, but not in the bedroom.
• They have talked to you about how sex makes them feel.
• You take things slow in your relationship.
• They don’t masturbate.
• They enjoy cuddling or kissing.
• They don’t find dirty jokes amusing.
• You can tell that they like you, but you may not feel like they are attracted to you.
• You have talked about asexuality.

To learn more about what asexuality looks like, check out this video:

Can a relationship with an asexual work?

A relationship with an asexual can work, but you have to be willing to communicate and understand each other’s needs. There are asexual couples that have sex, and in other instances, they may have asexual polyamorous relationships so that both parties will be able to have their needs met. 

It is up to you and your mate to talk about what you expect and to discuss the boundaries of your relationship. 

This may take some time, but it will be worth it to find something that works. Make sure you talk to each other about expectations when you are learning more about how to deal with an asexual partner. 

Otherwise, you may be setting your relationship up for failure.

Also Try: Quiz: Am I Ready for Sex?

How to deal with an asexual partner – 10 ways to consider

If you are wondering how to be in a relationship with an asexual partner, here are 10 tips on how to be supportive and work through any issues you have.

• Understand your partner’s point of view

When you are learning how to deal with an asexual partner, the first thing that you should do is understand your partner’s point of view. 

This means that you need to talk to them about their asexuality and what it entails. You should also learn more about what asexuality is, so you have a better understanding of it overall.

Also Try: Do You Feel That You Understand Each Other?

• Refrain from thinking their asexuality is an attack on you

Don’t think that someone is asexual because of anything you did. People are born asexual; it isn’t something they decide to be once they reach a certain age. 

Once you are aware of this, you can start to think about how your partner must feel about their asexuality, considering it is something that is misunderstood.

• Don’t try to change them

You should never try to change someone, especially once you learn they are asexual. For example, you don’t want to ask them how to stop being asexual since this could be insulting. What if someone asked you to stop liking video games or your favorite color? 

This may upset you. It might be more beneficial to find out as much as you can about what they are experiencing instead.

Also Try: Am I Asking Too Much of My Boyfriend Quiz

• Talk about what your partner needs

While you are learning about your partner, you should also listen to them when they are talking about their needs in a relationship. When you are focusing on how to deal with an asexual partner, you will likely notice that they may have fewer sexual needs than someone who isn’t asexual, which may take some getting used to. 

However, this doesn’t mean that you both won’t be able to get what you want out of your partnership.

• Define your relationship together

You will need to define your relationship together. This means you need to talk about what each person expects and how to accomplish your goals. If your wife is asexual, she may give you permission to masturbate, or she might be willing to have sex with you on a regular schedule. 

Of course, these are situations that you will have to figure out together, and each couple will be different. In some cases, an asexual person will not be comfortable having sex at all. If this is the case in your relationship, you will need to be supportive and not expect something they are unable to give.

Also Try: Should We Stay Together Quiz

• Be honest about how you feel

If you think that you will be unable to be in a relationship with someone that is asexual, you need to be truthful about this. However, if you choose to try, you have to be willing to put in the time and effort it will take to make your relationship work. 

Talk to your mate about how you are feeling, and they may be able to help you understand the situation more clearly. They might also have ideas on how to build up your bond without sex or discuss other things you can do together.

• Determine how to be intimate in your relationship

There are different ways that you can be intimate in your relationship; it doesn’t just have to be sexual. This is something that will be easy to recall when you are trying to learn more about how to deal with an asexual partner. 

This is another aspect of the relationship that you can decide on together, so you can keep kissing, cuddling, and engaging in other activities that both of you are comfortable with.

Also Try: Quiz: How Intimate Is Your Relationship? 

• Don’t pressure them for sex

One of the most important aspects when deciphering how to deal with an asexual partner is to think twice before asking them for sex. This is something that you will need to figure out together, and if your partner is not able to have sex with you, it may upset them if you keep asking. 

You should never pressure your partner for sex if they are asexual. This is something that will make them uncomfortable or feel like you don’t understand how they feel. Perhaps you are thinking, my husband is asexual, but I want to have kids. 

You will need to determine if this is possible in your marriage and decide together if it is the right choice for both of you. Pressuring someone can be traumatic and lead to distrust. 

• Tell them what your needs are too

Asexual relationships should never be one-sided. You should talk to your partner about your needs as well. Again, this is an issue that you can decide how to approach together in order for everyone to get what they need to be happy. 

In some cases, your asexual partner may be able to help you with these needs, or they might be interested in an open relationship or being permissive in other ways. This is an aspect of your relationship you should take time working on so no one’s feelings are hurt during the process.

Also Try: What Kind of Relationship Do I Want Quiz

• Keep working at it

When it comes to how to deal with an asexual partner, this is a process that will take work, but it can be rewarding. All relationships require a little give and take, and ones with an asexual partner are no different. Keep working at it, and you will likely find a way to make both of you happy.  

Conclusion

When you want to know more about how to deal with an asexual partner, the tips above may be able to help you. You should make sure that you are keeping an open and honest dialogue between the two of you, and you must keep an open mind as well. 

If you aren’t willing to put in the work, tell the truth about it so no one gets hurt. 

This type of relationship may not be for everyone, but if you are willing to try, it may make a huge difference. In other words, you could be able to have a very rewarding relationship with an asexual partner. There’s no one-size-fits-all for this type of partnership.