The human body is a complex system. Human physiology is the science of the mechanical, physical, and biochemical functions. They all must work together in order for someone to be healthy and feel happy. A study of human physiology is figuring out how we adapt to things like stress, exercise, disease, and more. It’s essential to study these things so doctors can best help people with physiological issues.
A marriage is just as complex. It’s made up of two very different people who come from different backgrounds. They come together for one common reason—love. But the way they behave day to day and the way they deal with issues can be very different. The physiology of marriage is how all the parts of married life work together to create a beautiful marriage union.
How can you develop good physiological fitness in marriage?
Putting it another way: How do you keep a marriage alive and functioning? Here are some tips:
Create a Positive Marriage Environment
When you wake up in the morning, do you feel annoyed and frustrated? When you go throughout your day, do you not really want to be together? When you are together are you tense or angry? You have a negative marriage environment. If things stay this way for very long, the marriage can’t function and last.
People don’t wake up looking ward to being frustrated and angry. They want to be happy. They want to enjoy life. A marriage that doesn’t provide that means the people in it can’t function to the best of their abilities. So how do you create a positive marriage environment? By being positive. While we may feel that things just happen as they will, you do have choice in the matter. You can make a daily choice to be positive.
Smile at your spouse
Speak kind words to them. Have a positive mindset. Wake up with hope and a happy attitude. It things have been tense for a while, this may not come naturally. If your spouse acts annoyed at you, it will be hard to just brush it off—but be positive anyway. For now, this will be a lesson in practice. Being positive has to start somewhere, and it can start with you. Just imagine what it would be like to wake up excited to see each other in the morning, enjoy spending time together throughout the day, and ending the day with a smile. Now go create that environment.
Offer Service to Each Other Daily
When we are selfish, a marriage can’t function. A “me” attitude means you just care about yourself and your wants. A marriage can’t thrive when either or both of the spouses are selfish. A marriage is about two people coming together in a strong bond. You can’t bond if it’s every man for himself.
The best way to be less selfish is to serve each other. Do little things for your spouse each day. Iron his shirts, make his favorite meal, pick up his dry cleaning, grab his favorite item at the store, give him a backrub—you get the idea. These little things by themselves seem so small, but they are the stitches that make up the fabric of a marriage. Each time you do something for your spouse, you are saying “I love you. You matter more to me than anything.” And that is what makes a marriage strong.
Open the Lines of Communication
Keeping your thoughts and feelings to yourself can be detrimental to a marriage. When you don’t talk about what is bothering you, your hopes and dreams, your fears, etc., then how is your spouse supposed to know how to best help you? They can’t. You must open the lines of communication.
It can be difficult to be so vulnerable with someone. You may feel that you run the risk of being rejected. But a marriage can’t survive if the spouses don’t communicate. There will be misunderstandings, fights, and hard feelings. Married couples who talk about everything create a strong connection. They feel like someone is listening and cares, and they feel happy that they can share their feelings. In turn, the spouses can get their needs met. And that is how a marriage can function in the best way.
Connect on a Deeper Level in the Bedroom
There are many parts to marriage, and one important part is sexual intimacy. Unfortunately, in some marriages sex is all about the physical act itself. That may be ok for a while, but a marriage can’t function long-term if sex is just about the orgasm. Sexual intimacy is so much more than that.
Sexual intimacy is about the literal union of the two spouses—they become one. They way that happens is important. To develop a deeper connection in the bedroom of course starts outside the bedroom, with how you treat each other. As each person feels safe and loved, coming together inside the bedroom becomes easier and more desirable.
The act of intimacy itself then changes. It’s less about the physical act and more about being tender and loving toward each other. What can you do for the other person? Instead of just doing it for your own sexual pleasure, you are more connected with your spouse. You want them to feel comfortable and loved. You go out of your way to make that intimate experience what they want.
Marriage is complex, but as we study and pay attention to all of the moving parts, we can better understand what makes a marriage tick. And in the process we can work to develop a strong physiological fitness in marriage.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.