Let’s face it. You’re unhappy and tired. If you’ve been married for quite some time, you probably understand these feelings are mere symptoms of the ups and downs that define a relationship. This time though, something’s just not right. Maybe you’re already working on it but can’t seem to get anywhere. Maybe you don’t know where to start.
If you feel your marriage problems are getting out of hand, pay attention to the 7 warning signs discussed below and let us show you how to deal with them effectively.
1. Not in the mood to make love
Yes, we all have moments where we’re too exhausted to make it happen. On the other hand, if these moments occur frequently, something may be wrong. Many people find themselves ignoring their partner entirely because they cease to be attracted to them. This doesn’t have to be a physical thing but could be a symptom of an underlying problem: your emotional connection is lost.
Marriage counseling can help you reestablish a deep connection with your spouse by teaching you how to handle your frustrations and strengthen your relationship.
2. Fighting over the same issues
Having arguments is a sign of a healthy relationship. After all, it simply means you’re willing to make an effort to fix your problems. But this is only true to a certain extent. Once you realize you’re fighting about the same issues over and over again, it’s time to find a marriage counselor.
As a couple, you are both a union and two separate individuals. While trying to balance your own needs with those of your marriage, it comes as no surprise that conflicts of interest can arise. If both you and your partner have strong personalities, it’s unlikely they’ll reach a compromise by themselves. A mediator will be able to help you figure out what’s in the best interest of your partnership.
3. Fearless behavior
Much like children do with their parents, new couples often try to find each other’s limits. Once you get to know one another on a deeper level, you will most likely know what you can and cannot say to your partner. This is even true during arguments.
With intimacy issues though, it’s even more important to be aware of your words, as it’s easy to hurt someone when fighting about such a sensitive subject. If you notice you start blurting out things you don’t mean, take the appropriate steps to learn how to express your emotions without hurting your partner unintentionally. This is where couples therapy comes in.
4. Superficial communication
When was the last time the two of you had a good talk? Is all you’re talking about superficial and meaningless? In the long run, the inability to have a deep conversation with your partner could result in emotional isolation, which may quickly lead you down the path of separation.
Through couples therapy, you will learn how to talk about your feelings, desires and frustrations in a way your partner can understand and relate to.
5. Not being able to enjoy physical contact
Are you and your partner still intimate with each other on occasion, but you’re simply not enjoying it like you used to? Multiple reasons may be causing this problem, and it doesn’t necessarily mean your marriage is going down the proverbial drain. Marriage intimacy counseling is even more important in this case since a counselor can help you find the underlying cause and solution to your problem.
6. Too tired to fight
Occasional arguments are a normal part of any relationship. But what happens if you can’t find the energy to handle any more fights? If you feel your partner doesn’t understand you and your problems are getting out of hand, it’s nearly impossible to find the motivation to keep trying.
It seems counter-intuitive, but this is actually one of the biggest signs that your marriage is in serious danger. Talking to a marriage counselor is probably your last resort.
7. Emotional infidelity
You probably stepped into this marriage with the hopes of finding love, affection and intimacy on the other side. Over time, things didn’t turn out the way you expected. If you and your spouse have problems connecting and being close to each other, it’s only natural you start missing these moments of intimacy and maybe even start fantasizing about sharing them with someone else. From there on out, it’s all too easy to take the next step and have an actual affair. But infidelity is often a deal-breaker and can ruin even the strongest of marriages.
Avoid losing your relationship by finding a marriage counselor immediately.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.