Suffering from a psychological abuse could mean that you are confused and somewhat lost in a relationship full of arguments and drama. If you feel like you are constantly under some kind of pressure you should start looking for answers on protecting yourself from the abuse.
Remember, that many abusive partners don’t even realize they’re being abusive. They are probably abusing you because they don’t know how to communicate better. It’s possible they grew up in an abusive family themselves and picked up that kind of communication as normal.
If you have been in an abusive relationship, you may not want to give up on it yet. There could be love or money (or both) at stake, and the sacrifice of walking away could mean too much to you. Here is some advice on responding to abusive behavior:
Control the anger
Abusive people feed off your anger. When they realize you get angry at something, they’ll always use it to torment you. No matter how you feel about it and how much it hurts you, try to avoid displaying your anger. Instead, try to respond with short sentences showing your dislike of the situation. That way you get to stand your ground, without allowing them the impression that they have a way of controlling you.
Don’t prove yourself
It’s impossible to prove yourself on anything with mental abusers. They don’t want to hear your side of things or opinions. They want you to do as you’re told, and nothing you say will make them change their mind. Don’t try to prove or explain yourself, psychological abusers are not reasonable, so don’t waste your time and energy.
Carefully Choose the time to argue
In most cases, it’s impossible to argue with emotional abusers. Carefully choose the time to engage in arguments. Do it at a time when the partner is calm. Use words that are short and expressive. In all other cases simply end the conversation saying “We’ll talk about this another time” or just leave the room. You can’t be abused in any way if you are not present.
Use the right answers
If you are in the middle of an abusive situation, then know how to respond to it. Remember that psychological abusers are unreasonable and won’t care about what you think. In fact, they’ll turn your words around and use them against you.
When you are insulted, say: “That hurts me, don’t say that”.
When they don’t show concern, you say: “I’d appreciate some support”.
When they raise their voice, say: “I’m scared, don’t do that”.
As you can see, involving in arguments is unnecessary, instead, start all your answers with “I” to show your feelings and ask for them to change their behavior.
Set the boundaries
If you let little things slide in the moment, the next time they’ll get bigger. Set the boundaries from the start and express how you feel about their behavior.Do not accept any kind of abusive behavior, not even for once. If you feel tormented by his or her actions you need to convey the message that this is not ok and you need to be firm while doing that.