When they realize you get angry at something, they’ll always use it to torment you. No matter how you feel about it and how much it hurts you, try to avoid displaying your anger.
Instead, try to respond with short sentences showing your dislike of the situation. That way you get to stand your ground, without allowing them the impression that they have a way of controlling you.
Don’t prove yourself
It’s impossible to prove yourself on anything with mental abusers. They don’t want to hear your side of things or opinions.
They want you to do as you’re told, and nothing you say will make them change their mind. Don’t try to prove or explain yourself, psychological abusers are not reasonable, so don’t waste your time and energy.
Carefully choose the time to argue
In most cases, it’s impossible to argue with emotional abusers. Carefully choose the time to engage in arguments.
Do it at a time when the partner is calm.
Use words that are short and expressive.
In all other cases simply end the conversation saying “We’ll talk about this another time”
Just leave the room. You can’t be abused in any way if you are not present
Use the right answers
If you are in the middle of an abusive situation, then know how to respond to it.
Remember that psychological abusers are unreasonable and won’t care about what you think. In fact, they’ll turn your words around and use them against you.
When you are insulted, say: “That hurts me, don’t say that”.
When they don’t show concern, you say: “I’d appreciate some support”.
When they raise their voice, say: “I’m scared, don’t do that”.
As you can see, involving in arguments is unnecessary, instead, start all your answers with “I” to show your feelings and ask for them to change their behavior.
Set the boundaries from the start and express how you feel about their behavior.
Those in abusive relationships, often wonder, do abusers change with new partners? The answer is – very unlikely. Although it can be helpful to seek timely intervention in the form of therapy to help abusive partners recognize and break their abuse patterns, the final outcome is not always happy.
Most people would concur – once an abuser always an abuser.
A person may tweak psychological abuse tactics with each new partner but they will always have abusive tendencies. In most cases, abusers are on the prowl for a new victim to subject to psychological abuse and manipulation.
Stop being vulnerable to psychological abuse
Gaslighting in relationships or psychological abuse can impair one’s mental and physical well-being to the same extent as physical abuse.
Do not accept any kind of abusive behavior, not even for once. If you feel tormented by their actions you need to convey the message that this is not ok and you need to be firm while doing that.
Be sufficiently motivated to take yourself back from the black hole of psychological abuse and move toward feeling empowered. Focus on building a new life for yourself, and learn to trust yourself again.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.