Physical Abuse in a Relationship: Signs, Coping Mechanisms & More

About 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men in the US experience some sort of abuse in their relationships, so if you think you are dealing with a problem that is not too common or you know someone afraid to talk for the same reason, you should think again.

There are so many indicators of physical abuse that can be easily recognized by the friends and family of the victim. At times, the traumatizing symptoms are so evident that a third person, too, would be able to make it out.

So, you might wonder why so many people are quiet about it.?

The number one reason for this is fear and only fear!

And this is why we’re obligated to act and protect those in need and encourage everyone with this kind of problem to react and share their situation with a friend or a professional.

If you think you know someone who is physically abused, but you are not sure, here are some signs of physical abuse in a relationship. They can be physical, behavioral, or emotional.

What is physical abuse in a relationship?

Physical abuse in a relationship can be defined as any physical act or gesture that is used to intimidate, manipulate, or punish the victim. 

Abuse can occur in any type of relationship, including heterosexual, homosexual, and lesbian relationships. There are different types of physical abuse that can occur in a relationship, including assault, battery, and domestic violence.  

Dr. Jennifer Schulz, PhD in Psychology, says,

Physical abuse can include a variety of different harmful behaviors, including hitting, slapping, kicking, choking, grabbing, or biting a partner.

Signs of having a physically abusive spouse

Physical abuse by a spouse can have devastating effects on the victim. So, how to tell if someone is being abused? Let’s find out!

A. Physical signs of abuse

Check out these physical signs of a physically abusive relationship:

• Physical signs of domestic violence can be very subtle in the beginning. Victims of abuse may be willing to shrug off something like a push or a slap as an innocuous one-time thing done in the heat of the moment and not perceived as a use of physical force against them by a physical abuser.

• Often, victims overlook reckless driving, occasionally throwing things as a manifestation of their partner having a bad day.

However, signs someone is being abused are more conspicuous as they become progressively worse over time, and the victim is physically abused to a degree of severity.

• When signs of someone being abused, like being force-fed, denied food, threatened, strangled, hitting, and physical restraint continue, unsuspecting victims of domestic violence start walking on eggshells, and the realization sinks in that abuse is not justifiable or a result of external stressors, making it acceptable.

• The most common physical signs in an abusive relationship are bruises and cuts. If you see these things in a friend more frequently than usual, then there’s a high possibility that they are being abused.

What is usual?

A normal person can accidentally slip and fall, have cuts on the body by unmindful usage of any sharp object, and have normal bruises by doing normal household chores,  but all of this is a rare occurrence. 

If bruises and cuts appear once a month or once in two months, or maybe more often, the person is always giving excuses for them, which seems illogical. The chances are big that abuse is happening in that relationship.

• Other signs of abuse include burns, black eyes, and often unexplained trips to the hospital, etc. All people care about hurting themselves, so if injuries occur, often it is a clear sign to raise the alarm about domestic violence.

B. Behavioral signs of physical abuse

Victims of physical abuse often try to hide the fact that they are being abused or enduring physical violence. They do that because of shame, fear, or simply because they are confused and don’t know how to act or ask for help.

Whatever the reason is, turning our heads the other way in these cases means that we are accomplices to such crimes.

• Classic behavioral signs and symptoms of physical abuse are constant confusion, amnesia, panic attacks, unexplained weight loss, use of drugs and alcohol, etc.

People under abuse rarely admit they are being abused, but their behavior often speaks something else.

• They might look disoriented, confused, lost, go to work heavily medicated or drunk. All this is done to hide the physical abuse symptoms and cope with their difficult situation.

Dr. Schulz adds,

When victims of physical abuse are in public, they may defer to their partner, as if they are fearful to speak or give information.

C. Emotional signs of physical abuse in a relationship or marriage

If there are no clear behavioral and physical signs of abuse, it doesn’t mean that a person is not going under mistreatment of any kind. It might take longer to spot abuse, but emotional signs will inevitably occur.

• Domestic violence is frustrating and exhausting, so after a while, the person will start feeling depressed, or have no will to live.
• Fear, phobias, social isolation, and withdrawal are also signs of abuse.

5 physical effects of physical abuse in a relationship

Physical abuse is an act of violence that occurs in a relationship. Physical abuse can cause physical effects on the abuser and the abused. Sometimes, people may not realize that they are being abused, or they may think that what is happening to them is normal or that it’s their fault.

Related Reading: The Physical & Physiological Effects of Physical Abuse & Healing

What are examples of physical abuse in a relationship?

Physical abuse in a relationship can include:

• Punching, hitting, slapping, or kicking
• Strangling or choking
• Throwing objects at the victim
• Using weapons to threaten or cause harm
• Pushing, pulling, or shaking the victim
• Restraining or immobilizing the victim against their will
• Burning or scalding
• Forced confinement or isolation
• Forced ingestion of substances

5 facts about physical abuse in a relationship

Physical abuse is a topic that is often taboo in relationships, but it, unfortunately, happens more than people think. Here are five facts about physical abuse in a relationship:

1. Physical abuse in a relationship is a harmful and hurtful form of behavior that occurs when a person uses physical force against their partner. According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, the most common types of physical abuse are hitting, pushing, kicking, choking, burning or scalding, biting, slapping, pinching, and shaking.
2. Physical abuse occurs across all kinds of relationships, including marriages, romantic partnerships, and family relationships. According to the United States Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), between one in four and one in six women have been victims of physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetimes.
3. Physical abuse is one of the most serious forms of domestic violence because it often causes injuries that can result in serious injury or even death. The HHS reports that around 33% of women who are victims of severe physical violence are injured, and 30% of them become seriously ill as a result.
4. Both men and women can be the victims of physical abuse in a relationship. However, studies have found that men are more likely to be perpetrators of physical violence against their partners than women are.
5. Anyone can suffer physically and emotionally from an abusive relationship, regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, religion, or political beliefs. In addition, research shows that the children of women in abusive relationships are at an increased risk of psychological problems and violent behavior later in life.

How to cope with physical abuse: 5 ways

If a person close to you has some of these signs of abuse, try and talk to them about it. The victim of the assault would probably deny it, but sometimes talk is exactly what they need to open up and start resolving the problem.

If the abuse is obvious, but the person still denies it, a 911 call becomes a must.

Their further instructions on such matters help resolve the problem in most cases. Seeking timely help is essential before things escalate to a life-threatening situation.

Check out the 5 coping mechanisms for how to handle physical abuse:

1. Know that abuse is never your fault

No one deserves to be abused, and no one is responsible for their abuser’s actions. Abuse is an act of violence or power that is inflicted against someone who cannot defend themselves. 

So, while it may not seem fair, there is no such thing as “deserved” when it comes to abuse. You are not to blame. In abusive relationships, people believe the victim is to blame for the abuse.

Related Reading: 15 Ways on How to Stop Finding Fault in Relationship

2. Take care of yourself

One of the most important things you can do when you are dealing with physical abuse is to take care of your own health and well-being. 

Being in an abusive relationship can make a person feel extremely isolated and alone, so it’s important to keep your friends close and encourage you to reach out for support whenever you need it.

Related Reading: Simple Steps to Take Care of Your Relationships

3. Get help

If you’re in an abusive relationship, the most important thing you can do is to reach out for help. Don’t be afraid to tell someone that you’re being abused- there are plenty of people who will be willing to support you and help you to get out of your situation. 

You don’t have to go through this alone!

4. Leave the relationship

The most important thing you can do if you’re in an abusive relationship is to leave your relationship. Leaving a relationship can be difficult and scary, but you deserve to live a life free from abuse. 

If you think your relationship is no longer a healthy one, you need to walk away for your own well-being. Trying to change your partner’s behavior will only lead to more problems down the road.

5. Educate yourself about abuse

Finally, educating yourself about domestic violence is one of the best ways to prepare yourself for a potentially abusive relationship. 

The more you know about abuse, the better prepared you’ll be to recognize when a relationship has become abusive and to get the support you need when you need it. Learning more about domestic abuse can also help you to identify red flags before they become a problem for you.

Related Reading: Educate Your Child to Accept Changes Optimistically

Also, watch this video to understand why it is important to break the silence and report domestic violence:

Takeaway

Do not underestimate the amount of danger you’re in. Leave the abuser to their own devices; do not be fooled into staying even if they seem sincerely apologetic or remorseful.

Seek refuge

You could stay temporarily with a trusted friend or a close family member who can provide you with care and strong support in this fragile state of mind. Contact emergency services or get help from a relationship therapist to guide you on how to deal with physical abuse.

Do not hesitate to talk to the police to protect you.

You can also call state and territory support lines to talk about the potential threats you face. Remember, Getting out of an abusive relationship is no easy feat, but help is available.

Do not let panic or fear of the unknown, uncertain future hold you back from stepping out of the destructible cycle of violence and violation.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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