We all need someone special in our life. Some of us are lucky enough to find this individual at a young stage of our life and even get married.
But, usually, it is only just a few years after that we realize that we no longer find happiness in this person and we find ourselves constantly bickering and fighting with the said significant other.
Gradually, we begin to resent the same person that we vowed to love forever. This dissatisfaction and resentment can lead to the couple parting ways and seeking a divorce.
However, this does not end your love life.
Once regaining yourself, you need to step out there and welcome another someone special in your life once again. Most of the people, after a divorce from the first marriage, tend to find this person and develop a mutual interest to the point that both of them are willing to tie the knot once again.
You need to be extra cautious
Second marriage is often seen as a second chance at happiness, a chance that we all deserve.
However, you need to be extra cautious in order to keep this newly found relationship falling to the same fate again. Some people are skeptical about the whole idea of tying the knot for the second time. Counseling for second marriage can help you to regain back your lost self-confidence and faith in the institution of marriage.
A great way to help you is to try these counseling tips for a successful second marriage
1. Second marriage requires partners to work harder to save it
The divorce rate for remarriage has been found to be higher than that of the first marriage.
About 50% of all first marriages whereas 67% of all second marriages tend to end up in divorce. This figure has been found to only increase with the number of marriage.
This means each of the partners needs to put in extra effort to maintain their relationship. Counseling for second marriage will teach you the two most important things you could do are:
Learn from mistakes of your past relationship
If you realize there were a few things on your side that had contributed to destroying your first marriage, you need to make sure that you address them and figure out your weaknesses before entering a new relationship.
Make sure you learn from your mistakes because repeating the same mistakes would only lead to the same dreadful result.
Understand that everyone has baggage
Many times, people tend to bring unhealthy relationship patterns, mistrusts, and other damaging habits into their new relationship.
This does nothing but sabotage your second marriage and bring you back to the same fights and arguments that prevailed your first marriage.
2. Communicate better as a couple
Communication is the key to everything.
You should be able to talk to your partner about anything and everything without hesitation.
To make sure your second marriage is successful, no matter what underwent your past marriage and your baggage, you need to be able to speak and listen to your partner productively.
Moreover, before getting committed, make sure that you know each other fairly well.
Second marriages are usually driven by the feeling to be loved. Therefore, ensure that you are ready for a new relationship before you end up wondering, how did you end up in this emotional place?
3. Be vulnerable and let yourself be known
Being vulnerable means, you can express your innermost thoughts, feelings, and wishes and be completely exposed to your partner.
Vulnerability in a relationship has been found to be a great way to promote trust and intimacy between the couple. Trust has found to be one of the most important ingredients of a happy marriage.
Once you and your partner are able to share all feelings with each other, you are set to steer your relationship towards success.
4. Discuss the top causes of divorce before making a commitment
The number one cause of divorce, particularly in second marriage, is found to be money and this is followed by family. Make sure you cover all money and family-related issues thoroughly before getting married.
It is found that money plays a major role when it comes to being satisfied in a relationship as well as each of the spouses also tends to get defensive when it comes to their children.
5. Try to avoid a financial crisis
Money issues can cause serious problems as the financial crisis can lead to stress and increased fights between the couple. Both of you need to be on the same page about each other money mindset and about debt, saving, spending, etc.
6. Embrace the role of being a step-parent
It is important that you accept your partner’s children as your own.
Instead of trying to replace their own mother/father, try to pick up the role of an adult friend who the children see as a mentor, supporter, and disciplinarian.
An important tip in counseling for second marriage is to lead your second marriage towards success is to develop a culture of appreciation, love, and respect in your home.
By using all of the counseling tips mentioned above, you can ensure that your new relationship stays far away from demise.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.