10 Things About People Who Cheat: Common Types & How to Deal

Cheating… it’s one of those words that instantly stirs up emotions. Some people imagine lies, late-night texts, or secretive behavior, while others picture the quiet ache of betrayal that lingers long after.

According to Dionne Eleanor Reid

Cheating rarely begins with the bigger act itself—it begins with a pattern of small choices that dishonor connection.

Why do people cheat in the first place?

Is it about desire, dissatisfaction, or something deeper that even they can’t fully explain?

The truth is, there isn’t just one type of person who strays; there are patterns, personalities, and choices that repeat more often than we’d like to believe.

Understanding the things about people who cheat can be painful, yes—but it also opens the door to clarity, awareness, and maybe even the strength to respond in healthier ways.

What is cheating in a relationship?

Cheating in a relationship is a breach of trust where one partner engages in behavior that is emotionally, romantically, or sexually intimate with someone outside the committed relationship. 

While the specific definition of cheating in a relationship can vary from one relationship to another, it generally involves actions that betray the exclusivity and faithfulness expected in a committed partnership. 

Cheating can manifest in numerous ways, from physical affairs to emotional infidelity and even through the misuse of technology and social media.

So, if we put it simply, cheating is being unfaithful to your partner. There are different types of cheating in a relationship, and it doesn’t only involve physical affairs. Instead, cheating can include sexual intimacy, emotional attachment, or gratification from someone other than your partner.

Why is it essential to address cheating in a relationship?

Addressing different types of cheating in marriage is crucial because it directly impacts the foundation of trust and respect, which are essential for a healthy partnership. Cheating breaches this trust, creating emotional turmoil and eroding the sense of security between partners.

Dionne Eleanor Reid highlights that:

Patterns don’t lie—when you see them clearly, you also see the truth hiding behind them.

Addressing it openly allows for honest communication, allowing one to understand underlying issues and either work toward healing or make informed decisions about the relationship’s future. 

Ignoring or avoiding the issue can lead to prolonged pain, resentment, and a communication breakdown, ultimately hindering the possibility of either reconciliation or personal growth for both individuals involved.

10 common types of cheating and things about people who cheat

Cheating in a relationship is a painful betrayal that can take on various forms, both overt and subtle.

So, what counts as cheating?

It’s crucial to recognize that cheating extends beyond just physical affairs. Here are 10 common types of cheating in a relationship, shedding light on the different ways trust can be breached:

1. Cheating sexually

Physical infidelity is one of the most common types of cheating in a relationship. This entails sexual intimacy with somebody who isn’t your partner. It is being unfaithful to your partner and is a breach of a couple’s sexual exclusivity.

Being sexually intimate with a person, not your partner, is the most obvious sign of cheating. In most cases, this leads to a breakup.

An apparent sign your partner is cheating on you is if your sex life has taken a downturn. They will most likely not be interested in physical contact with you.

• What does it say about the cheater?

It often points to dissatisfaction or impulse control issues. Sometimes it reflects a desire for novelty or unfulfilled needs. However, it may also signal deeper problems in how they handle honesty and respect in the relationship.

2. Online affairs

An online affair is one of the forms of cheating. It is a relationship with intimate and sexual undertones that thrives online through texts, calls, and video calls.

The parties may not even know themselves apart from the basic information, such as age, profession, and physical appearance, from the pictures shared.

The parties involved in an internet affair may never meet each other, but their connection can affect their committed relationship. An online affair can evoke feelings of jealousy and anger in a partner. Cyber infidelity can be regarded as betrayal and can break the trust in the relationship.

• What does it say about the cheater?

It shows that they may be seeking validation, attention, or escape in ways they don’t feel comfortable addressing in real life. It often highlights emotional gaps, secrecy, or the inability to set boundaries online.

3. Financial infidelity

Financial cheating occurs when a partner doesn’t come clean about their spending or savings. For example, they could be going over the monthly budget to purchase gifts for their secret lover and, as a result, will hide their financial statement from their partner.

Other reasons for lying about their finances can include a gambling problem, substance abuse problems, and even compulsive shopping. Financial infidelity also entails keeping secrets from your partner and breaking their trust in you.

A cheating partner will spend the savings and even put you in debt, and the worst part is that they will hide it from you.

• What does it say about the cheater?

It suggests secrecy, poor communication, or even addiction-driven behaviors. Often, it signals that they struggle with trust, responsibility, or being transparent about their choices and priorities in the relationship.

4. Emotional cheating

Emotional infidelity involves being emotionally attached to someone other than your partner. This type of cheating is easily forgiven because it doesn’t include physical intimacy, but it can also ruin a relationship.

When you’re emotionally involved with somebody, that person takes the role of your confidant, leaving your partner in the back seat of the relationship. Emotional cheating examples involve always confiding in someone other than your partner.

Of course, this amounts to cheating and can make your partner feel left out of the relationship.

• What does it say about the cheater?

It usually means they’re craving emotional closeness that they don’t feel in their relationship. While not always intentional, it shows difficulty in setting boundaries and choosing loyalty when vulnerability is involved.

5. Fantasizing about someone else  

It is normal to occasionally and briefly fantasize about a person you find attractive. But letting your mind wander and dream of acts that can lead to action can be considered cheating.

Spending hours daydreaming of somebody you find attractive will push you to act on it. Also, fantasizing will lead to dishonest and immoral acts, or can take your mind off your relationship.

You’re fantasizing about something that isn’t real and comparing reality to a dream. This can have disastrous consequences on your relationship.

For example, if fantasizing about your doctor will lead you to multiple trips to the hospital and lying about your location to your husband, you’re cheating.

• What does it say about the cheater?

It reflects unmet desires or curiosity, but it can also show dissatisfaction with their current intimacy. If the fantasies turn into action, it suggests poor self-control and blurred boundaries between imagination and loyalty.

6. Physical affair without sex

Many people ask, “Is kissing cheating when in a relationship?” Just kissing someone who isn’t your partner can be regarded as cheating. You can’t escape the consequences of your action by saying, “We only kissed; we didn’t have sex.”

Participating in activities like foreplay or kissing someone other than your partner can still be considered cheating. However, the fact that sex wasn’t involved doesn’t make it any less hurtful for your partner.

If you are confused about what actions can be considered cheating, it is best to talk it out with your partner. Relationships vary, and you and your partner should put all cards on the table and determine what actions will be considered cheating.

• What does it say about the cheater?

It reveals impulsivity, thrill-seeking, or disregard for boundaries. Even without sex, the act shows a willingness to risk trust for momentary pleasure, which may reflect immaturity or dissatisfaction.

7. Having romantic feelings for someone else

Having feelings for someone other than your partner can be considered cheating if such feelings are acted upon. This can be done by devoting your time to them and spending your savings to buy them expensive gifts.

Dionne Eleanor mentions:

Trust isn’t built by perfection, but by consistent honesty—even when the truth is uncomfortable.

It’s hard to control your feelings, but on the other hand, you have power over your actions. So, seeing the person you like behind your partner’s back and being secretive about your relationship with the person can be regarded as cheating.

There is no need to feel guilty over having feelings for someone else, as they can’t be controlled. But it calls for a proper reevaluation of your situation before it leads to problems.

You also need to realize that for your emotions to count as infidelity, you have to act upon them without giving considerable thought to your partner.

• What does it say about the cheater?

It shows a lack of emotional clarity and honesty. While feelings may be natural, choosing secrecy or acting on them reflects confusion, avoidance, or disregard for the existing relationship.

8. Pouring your time and attention into a hobby

You can cheat on your partner with a hobby or interest. Devoting your attention and time to a hobby instead of your partner can constitute cheating.

Instead of spending time with your partner, you will play games, engage in physical activities, or spend the weekend working. 

Don’t get us wrong; this doesn’t mean hobbies are wrong; instead, they should be encouraged when done in moderation. Obsessing over an interest instead of giving your time to your partner can cause a rift in the relationship.

• What does it say about the cheater?

It often indicates imbalance or emotional withdrawal. By pouring energy into hobbies instead of the relationship, the person may be avoiding intimacy, responsibility, or uncomfortable conversations with their partner.

9. Micro-cheating

Micro-cheating involves developing inappropriate and intimate connections outside your relationship. This is one of the common types of cheating in a relationship, and it consists of stalking your ex on social media, having an active online profile on a dating site, or flirting with other people.

Micro-cheating texting examples also involve sending flirty messages. It is subtle and doesn’t involve physical intimacy. However, the lies, secrecy, and betrayal that come with micro-cheating can destroy a relationship.

• What does it say about the cheater?

It suggests they enjoy attention, novelty, or validation outside their relationship. While they may downplay it, the secrecy shows they’re aware it crosses boundaries and still choose to engage.

10. Commemorative infidelity

Commemorative cheating happens when a person has fallen out of love and has no feelings for their partner. But they remain in the relationship because of an obligation.

These people justify cheating by arguing that their relationship has fallen apart and that it is not wrong to search for love outside.

Often, they see the partnership as more of a duty than a connection, staying only for appearances or responsibilities. This kind of infidelity can feel especially painful, as it signals the emotional end of the relationship long before the physical one ends.

• What does it say about the cheater?

It reflects resignation and detachment rather than passion. The person may lack the courage to end things honestly, choosing obligation over authenticity while still searching for fulfillment elsewhere.

5 ways to deal with cheating in a relationship

Dealing with cheating in a relationship is an emotionally complex and challenging process. It requires thoughtful consideration and a willingness to confront difficult emotions.

Dionne Eleanor Reid adds that:

Even betrayal can be a teacher—it shows us where we’ve abandoned ourselves and where we need to rise stronger.

Understanding cheaters’ behavior patterns can also provide clarity on why betrayal happens and how to respond. Here are 5 ways to address and handle the aftermath of infidelity:

1. Open communication

Initiate an honest dialogue about cheating. This conversation should be non-confrontational and aimed at understanding the reasons behind the infidelity. 

Expressing your feelings clearly and listening to your partner’s perspective are essential. This can help assess the relationship’s dynamics and determine if there’s a mutual desire to resolve underlying issues.

Here’s what you can do:

• Choose a calm time and a safe space to talk without distractions.
• Use “I feel” statements instead of accusations to keep the discussion constructive.
• Ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective rather than just focusing on blame.

2. Seek professional help

Engaging with a relationship counselor or therapist can provide a neutral space to explore the causes and implications of cheating. 

Professional guidance can help both partners understand their emotions, communicate effectively, and develop strategies for healing. Therapy can also offer individual support for processing feelings of betrayal and guilt and rebuilding self-esteem.

Here’s what you can do:

• Look for a licensed therapist who specializes in infidelity or couples counseling.
• Be open to attending both individual and joint sessions, depending on what feels most comfortable.
• Commit to practicing the tools or exercises suggested in therapy outside of sessions.

3. Set boundaries and expectations

After a breach of trust, it’s vital to establish new boundaries and expectations for the relationship. This might include setting clear guidelines about future interactions, communication, and commitments.

Re-establishing trust is a gradual process that requires consistent effort and honesty from both partners.

Here’s what you can do:

• Discuss and agree on what behaviors are unacceptable moving forward.
• Create accountability systems (like sharing plans openly) to rebuild trust.
• Regularly check in with each other to ensure boundaries are respected.

Watch this video where Dr. Nicole LePera, a holistic psychologist, explains the importance of healthy boundaries in relationships and how to set them:

4. Self-care and support

Prioritize your emotional and physical well-being. Engage in activities that promote self-care and seek support from friends, family, or support groups.

Healing from the trauma of cheating is not only about the relationship but also about taking care of your mental health and finding personal peace.

Here’s what you can do:

• Establish a self-care routine with activities that ground you, such as exercise, journaling, or meditation.
• Talk openly with trusted friends or a support group to release bottled-up emotions.
• Limit contact with your partner temporarily if you need space to heal.

5. Reflect on the relationship’s future

Take time to reflect on whether the relationship is salvageable and if you genuinely want to continue it. 

Consider factors like the history of the relationship, the level of commitment from both partners, and the potential for change. This decision should be based on a clear understanding of your needs, values, and whether trust can realistically be rebuilt.

Here’s what you can do:

• Write down what you need in a relationship versus what you’ve been receiving.
• Ask yourself if you feel respected, safe, and valued in the partnership.
• Give yourself permission to walk away if rebuilding trust feels impossible.

FAQs

Relationships can be complicated, and questions about cheating often arise. Here are answers to some of the most frequently asked questions regarding cheating in a relationship:

• What is considered cheating in a relationship?

Cheating in a relationship is when one partner engages in behavior, either physical or emotional, that involves romantic or sexual intimacy with someone outside the committed partnership. It can range from physical affairs to emotional infidelity, deception, or neglect.

• How can I know if my partner is cheating on me?

Signs of cheating in a relationship may include secrecy, emotional distance, changes in routine, defensive behavior, or suspicious messages. However, it’s crucial to communicate openly with your partner and consider concrete evidence before making accusations.

• What should I do if I think my partner is cheating on me?

If you suspect infidelity, have an honest conversation with your partner to express your concerns. Seek couples therapy to address the issues. Avoid jumping to conclusions and gather evidence before taking any drastic steps.

• How can I rebuild trust after cheating?

Rebuilding trust after cheating requires open communication, transparency, and consistency. Both partners should commit to working on the relationship, seeking therapy, and setting clear boundaries to prevent future transgressions.

• Is it possible to forgive cheating and move on?

Forgiving and moving on after cheating is possible, but it’s a complex process that requires time, effort, and commitment from both partners. Professional help can be instrumental in healing the wounds and rebuilding the relationship.

When trust meets choice

Cheating is rarely as simple as it first appears.

Dionne Eleanor points out:

Awareness is protection—once you see the patterns, you’re no longer powerless against them.

Sometimes it’s impulsive, sometimes it’s emotional, and sometimes it’s the result of distance or disconnection that’s been building for years. Understanding the different things about people who cheat doesn’t erase the pain—but it can bring perspective.

It helps you see patterns, recognize what might be repairable, and decide what’s non-negotiable for your own peace of mind. Healing takes time, honesty, and self-compassion… but whether you choose to stay or walk away, remember this: you deserve love that feels safe, respectful, and real.

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Owen Kessler Author

Owen Kessler is a talented writer with a knack for making complex topics easy to understand. He has a particular interest in psychology and personal growth, and his writing is known for its insightful commentary on these subjects.... Read more When he’s not writing, Owen enjoys spending time camping in the beautiful mountains and forests that surround his home. He also loves to travel and has a deep appreciation for the diversity of cultures he encounters on his journeys. Read less

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