Do Cheaters Suffer? 8 Reasons Their Actions Bruise Them Too

Do cheaters suffer the consequences of their actions? Whether they know it or not, their secret actions take a toll on their life beyond just their marriage.

Being cheated on is one of the hardest things a person can go through. A study published by the Stress Health Journal found that up to 42.5% of couples studied experienced infidelity-related Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after being cheated on.

Infidelity is heartbreaking and can put the innocent party at risk for poor psychological health, but what about the unfaithful person?

• How do cheaters feel about themselves?
• How do cheaters feel after breakups?
• How do the consequences of cheating on your spouse affect life post-infidelity?

The common thought is that cheaters didn’t really love their partners – how could they if they were willing to blow up their life for their selfish pleasure?

But the truth is, cheaters often feel terrible about the choices they’ve made. What are the effects of cheating in relationships, and do cheaters suffer from what they’ve done? Keep reading to find out.

Related Reading: 10 Most Common Types Of Cheating In A Relationship

Do cheaters suffer? 8 consequences of cheating in a relationship

If you’re looking for insight on why your spouse cheated on you, it may bring you a shred of comfort knowing that your unfaithful partner is suffering right along with you.

Here are 8 ways cheaters hurt themselves when they hurt the ones they love.

1. They experience crushing guilt

How does cheating affect a man while he is still being unfaithful?

While the affair may be enticing, it doesn’t stop the shame from creeping into his everyday life.

He may feel sick to his stomach when he thinks about what he is doing to his family.

The thought of someone finding out what he has done makes it hard for him to focus on his work and distracts him from time with his family.

Deep regret is with him all the time, and he may even stop (or try to stop many times) the affair due to his feelings of remorse.

How does cheating affect a man who has stopped being unfaithful?

Even if he hasn’t cheated for years, that guilt may still be with him. He may feel like the secret he is keeping is making it difficult to connect in his marriage.

The emotional consequences of cheating on your spouse may last a lifetime, whether or not your partner knows what you’ve done.

Related Reading: 15 Cheating Guilt Signs You Need to Look for

2. Their friends and family are disappointed

Do cheaters suffer outside of their romantic relationship? Most definitely.

The consequences of cheating in a relationship often expand beyond the marriage itself.

Close friends and family aren’t shy about expressing disappointment in the cheater’s actions. Friends may not want to spend time with that person and family feels hurt at what their relative has done.

How do cheaters feel about themselves once everybody knows what they’ve done? Not only is it embarrassing to have those closest in your life see your mistakes, but they feel pain over the hurt they have caused their extended family.

Related Reading: The Devastating Psychological Effects of a Cheating Spouse

3. They are plagued by a terrible pattern

How does cheating affect a man? Not only does he feel shame about what he’s done to his partner, but he may wonder if he will ever be able to gain control over his desire to be unfaithful.

One study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that infidelity in a previous relationship increased the risk of cheating again in a later relationship.

This cycle of unfaithful behavior doesn’t go unnoticed by the person who is cheating. They may wonder if they are capable of a healthy, loving relationship.

4. Their relationship with their children suffer

How bad is cheating on someone when you have children together? Bad.

• Children of divorce are more likely to suffer from anxiety and depression
• Have poor academic achievements
• Have difficulty with social relationships
• Have chronic stress
• Are more likely to be abused
• Are more likely to lose their virginity young and become a teen parent

These are just some of the studies documented about parents who break up the family unit.

Do cheaters suffer when they have children? Incredibly so.

If you are considering cheating in your marriage, do everything in your power to go the other way. Seek counseling instead, and may you never know the answer to the question: “How does it feel to cheat on someone you love?”

5. They know they are selfish

Is cheating bad in a relationship? It is, and everybody knows it.

An unfaithful partner may try and excuse their behavior for a while (“We’re only talking. Nothing physical has happened. It’s fine” or “I am attracted to this person, but I can control myself.”) but ultimately, they know that what they’re doing is wrong.

Everyone who cheats knows that they are giving in to a baser instinct. They are acting on selfish desires that they know full well will hurt the people they love the most.

How do cheaters feel about themselves knowing they are choosing their interests over their families? Awful – and this awful feeling will only grow the longer the affair goes on.

Related Reading: 12 Red-Flag Signs of a Selfish Partner

6. They never feel forgiven

Research shows that only about 31% of couples who are facing infidelity will stay together.

Being cheated on is a hard pill to swallow. Not only does the innocent spouse have to imagine their partner being intimate with someone else, but they are left feeling betrayed, self-conscious, and without any self-esteem.

It is not an easy road for that 31% of couples who try and work things out. Even with counseling and communication, the cheating partner may never feel like they are fully forgiven by their spouse.

7. They fear the cheating backlash

When it comes to how cheating affects the cheater, consider this. Many people believe that if they do something bad to someone, something bad will happen to them in return.

For example: if they cheat on their partner, they will be cheated on in their next relationship. These are the so-called “karmic effects” of adultery.

Whether or not you believe in the karmic effects of adultery, life certainly has a way of balancing out bad behavior, and breaking someone’s heart takes top billing for bad behavior.

8. They think about the one that got away

How do cheaters feel after a break up? Even if they claim to feel lighter and happier after leaving their marriage, many cheaters will soon feel a sting of misery at their cheating ways.

Once the cheater gains perspective, he realizes that he threw away a loving and kind partnership, all for a few moments of passion.

Do cheaters suffer from regret? Yes. They will forever be thinking about the one that got away.

When do cheaters realize they made a mistake?

It should be noted that many people cheat for sport. They love racking up high numbers of sexual partners and gaslighting their partners to stay off their cheating radar. Others are brazen about their extracurricular marital activities.

For these people, they may never realize they made a mistake.

But, when speaking of someone who was in a committed marriage and strayed, it does not take long until they feel the effect of cheating in relationships.

How does it feel to cheat on someone you love? Heart-wrenching.

Many cheaters feel shame and wish the event never happened. They may feel trapped by their emotional connection to someone new.

Others become addicted to the rush that comes with being desired by someone else – particularly if they are in a sexless marriage or feel unappreciated by their married partner.

The consequences of cheating on your spouse often lead to divorce, otherwise an unhappy marriage that takes years and years of work to repair.

Do cheaters suffer with remorse after a breakup? Definitely. Once they’ve taken a step back from the mess they created, they will realize the error of their ways.

Do you think that they truly feel guilty for how they’ve handled this breakup, or how they’ve handled this relationship? Know the signs in this video that they do:

How does the person who cheated feel?

How does the person who cheated feel?

How does cheating affect a man after he is caught or confesses?

It depends on why he was cheating. If he was unhappy before he was unfaithful, he may feel both guilty and relieved that the marriage is over.

If he was simply having his cake and eating it, too, he may feel a range of emotions, such as:

• Embarrassment over what he’s done
• Hurt for losing his marriage/family
• Guilt for hurting his spouse
• Guilt for hurting/involving his lover
• Torn feelings about how/if he wants to repair his marriage
• Shame and remorse, hoping his partner will forgive him

The consequences of cheating on your spouse can be crushing.

Someone who allowed themselves to be swept up in fantasy now faces the grim reality of a broken marriage, devastated children, disappointed parents and in-laws, and friends put in the awkward position of choosing sides.

Infidelity can also lead to temporary or irreparable sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancies, which can further complicate the cheaters life.

Related Reading: The Devastating Psychological Effects of a Cheating Spouse

Takeaway

Do cheaters suffer? Most definitely.

While some cheaters take pride in how many people they’ve been without outside of their marriage, most unfaithful partners feel guilt and stress over breaking their marriage vows.

How do cheaters feel about themselves during and after cheating? They experience overwhelming guilt, their extended relationships suffer, and they often fear the potential karmic effects of adultery.

Cheaters often realize the effect of cheating in relationships once the damage is done.

Counseling can be helpful for people who have a pattern of being unfaithful to their partners. They may find that the reason they can’t commit to someone has nothing to do with their spouse and everything to do with other personal issues they’ve been going through.

Seeking therapy and doing intense soul-searching can help a cheater put their unfaithful ways behind them and live life with a clean conscience.