If you’re looking up the query ‘what is flirting’, odds are you think that somebody is flirting with you. Or it could be that you have a crazy crush on someone special and you’re trying to get their attention.
Simply put, flirting is a way of trying to get someone to notice you. From genuine interest to just being playful, people flirt for all different reasons. This can make it hard to know what their actual intentions are.
Are you a natural flirt and want to reign in your mixed-signals or is do you think that someone’s flirting with you but you can’t read their signals? What is flirting, anyway? No matter which side of the fence you’re on, we have the answers. We’re giving you the top examples of flirting and why people do it.
1. High compliments
If someone is trying to flirt with you, one of the first things they will do is pay you a compliment. This is great because it offers the recipient an ego-boost while letting them know that they’re desired. Common avenues of flirty compliments include:
- Complimenting your behavior: “You are so funny! You always know how to make me laugh”
- Complimenting your dress and grooming: “I love your shirt, it looks great on you”
- Complimenting talents/hobbies: “You have the best taste in music.”
- General compliments: “You are so sweet”, “I always know I can count on you, you’re the best!”
2. Bringing attention to themselves
What is flirting?
One big aspect of flirting has to do with body language.
Many people will use many different methods, from dressing differently to talking with their hands, in order to be noticed.
Common methods of body language flirting include:
- Touching/playing with their hair. This is an interesting way that flirts, consciously or subconsciously, try and draw their crush’s attention to their face.
- Biting/licking lips. Is there anything sexier than a pouty pair of lips? Big flirts will use these facial assets to draw your attention to their mouth and make you wonder about what it would be like to give them a smooch.
- Drinking from your glass. When someone has a crush on you, proximity is everything. They want to be where you are and drink from what you’re drinking out of. This is just a cute and sweet way to get closer to you.
- Wearing something suggestive. This doesn’t mean that everything they have will be out on display, but if someone wants to get your attention, they will probably dress in a way that you like in order to feel noticed.
3. Physical contact is made
When you like someone, you want to be closer to them. Not to mention, studies show that the oxytocin released during physical forms of affection, such as holding hands or caressing, has been proven to lower stress.
It’s thrilling and somehow naughty all at the same time. It’s the reason why the first kiss (and many other first times!) in a new relationship feels so electric.
Examples of flirtatious touching include:
- Rubbing your shoulders
- Giving a high-five
- Kissing hello/goodbye
- Touching someone’s shoulder/slapping it when they make you laugh
- Suggestive dancing
If someone you know keeps finding excuses to make physical contact with you, you can just bet that they are flirting.
4. It’s all about eye-contact
There are some people who have trouble making eye-contact with others. They may hold your gaze for a moment, but will quickly look away. This is the exact opposite of someone who is flirting with you!
If you’ve ever wondered what is flirting and whether someone’s flirting with you, just remember these five words: it’s all in the eyes!
One major sign of flirting is sexy eye-contact.
Studies show that not only does eye-contact create self-awareness, but it heightens emotional intimacy.
5. Witty banter
One of the biggest ways someone will flirt with you is verbal. For example, you had to rush to work in a hurry and didn’t have time to do your hair so you threw it up into a messy bun. “Don’t mind me,” you say, “I’m a mess today.” Your co-worker, in an attempt to flirt with you, says, “I think messy hair is so sexy” or “What are you talking about? You look amazing!”
Charming and even sarcastic banter is another way that people flirt with one another.
If you find yourself constantly drawn to the same person in conversation then you already know that your chemistry is out of this world. If this person is flirting with you, they may strive to make you laugh or always come up with something witty to say to you.
6. Schoolyard flirting
Part of the reason why flirting can be so confusing is that sometimes, like a child poking fun of her crush on the schoolyard, flirting isn’t always sweet.
If someone you know loves to tease and poke fun at you, but still wants to be around you all the time, odds are they are flirting with you.
Research shows that shared activities and hobbies promote relationship satisfaction, so it’s only natural that your crush would get a boost of dopamine by spending time with you. But they aren’t quite sure how to get your romantic attention, so they resort to making jokes at your expense.
7. They change when you’re in the room
Do your friends tell you that this person you suspect is flirting with you changes when you’re around? Do they light up when you enter a room?
If someone becomes more attentive, tries hard to be funny, or acts completely different when you’re around, they’re probably trying to flirt with you and get your attention.
Flirting is a fun and exciting way to let someone know you like them. You can even flirt with a long-time spouse to spice up your relationship. Giving compliments, using suggestive body language, maintaining eye-contact, and perking up when you are around this person are all subtle signs of flirting.