Why Sexual Intimacy in Marriage Matters
When a couple gets married, they just cannot keep their hands off each other. Marriage and intimacy are deeply intertwined.
After about a year or so of this lusting after one another, life becomes more routine and the lust evolves into love and the sex may not be as frequent but when it happens there is still that passion and heat that was there in the beginning.
Then the children are born, life throws several curveballs in the course of years, the sex becomes even less frequent and oftentimes, interrupted, and not quite as passionate.
At this point, sexual intimacy in marriage can become a problem if the communication between the couple has broken down or either partner is not able to properly communicate their feelings.
Sex and intimacy in marriage
Just how important is sexual intimacy in marriage?
When a man approaches his wife for sex and she turns him down time and time again, at some point he is either going to get mad and become passive-aggressive with her, taking his anger out on her in other ways or he will become distant from her and withdrawn.
There are many different types of men with different thresholds of how long they can go on in a marriage with very little sex, no sex or sex with their spouse that has no passion for it.
Some men can stay for years in this type of marriage hoping that things will get better, or they may end up venturing out for extra-marital affairs thinking that it will resolve the void and loneliness that they are feeling.
The problem is that the couple has now ventured into the area of cheating or divorce and if they had a proper understanding of what the other person was thinking and how to communicate it properly then the sexual intimacy in marriage would eventually resume and the passion would come back.
Men and sex
The issues related to sexual intimacy in marriage involve both the husband and the wife and how they view each side of the situation.
From a man’s view, he gains an enormous sense of connection with his wife though passionate constant lovemaking.
Most men will forgo the frequency of sex for the quality of the lovemaking with their spouse.
One or two wonderful lovemaking sessions a week or even a month is better than three unemotional, unsatisfying love sessions a week.
There are even men that can be satisfied with it once a month if they only knew that their wife was really into it, desired them, and then the frequency would pick up when she is ready for it again.
Men that do not have this connection with their wives feel rejected, unloved, unappreciated, unmanly, and feel disconnected from their spouse.
Many women do not realize that having sex for a man with the woman that they love is equivalent to food, water and sleep. It is that powerful.
When a man and a woman can maintain that lovemaking in their marriage than many other more important issues can be more easily resolved.
When the sex is good in the marriage than the bickering over the little things usually goes away.
Women need to understand that by not making love with their husbands consistently, it will put the marriage in danger. Resurrecting sexual intimacy in marriage is important.
Women and sex
For the woman in the marriage where she no longer is feeling passionate about her husband and does not want to have sex with him these are some of the reasons why.
For a man to understand, when a woman has children, she must get her hormones back to normal to feel sexy again, and a husband can help his wife in this situation.
A husband needs to date his wife.
A woman especially after having children and as they get older they have to be stimulated outside of the bedroom by their husband.
This involves a date night, a weekend away, lunch date, cards, flowers, and a phone call in the afternoon telling her that you love her and think that she is sexy.
A woman needs to get her mind back into passion and lovemaking with her husband.
The way that a couple communicates with one another can lead them back to the bedroom for passionate sex or away from the bedroom and no sex.
For men, this is the time when silence is not golden at all!
When your wife no longer wants to have sex with you, you need to take action and be direct. Open up to your wife and tell her that you love her and that when she makes love to you it fills you up.
Do not be angry with her or passive-aggressive or demanding, none of that will work, it will turn her off.
She must hear from you that it hurts your feelings when she rejects you that you are sad, lonely and you need her.
You need to emphasize that you are attracted to her and that you still desire and want her.
When a man can explain his feeling in this way to his wife then she can better understand what he is going through because he is speaking to her in words that she can understand.
If a man gets angry and feels like he expects the sex from his wife, he may get just that “sex”, but no love and no passion.
A man really needs to learn how to openly express himself to his wife, and a couple needs to make efforts to restore sexual intimacy in marriage. It could literally make or break a marriage. Remember, sexual intimacy in marriage bonds you and your spouse together.
Don’t let your marriage end up in a sexual desert.
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