Marriage Advice for Newlyweds Starting their Lives Together
You popped the question, planned the wedding, and said the vows – now all that’s left to do is open up the wedding gifts and live happily ever after, right? Well, not entirely.
The first year of marriage is often considered the most difficult by newlyweds – even if they were already living together prior to getting married. Managing finances, realizing you have different opinions about starting a family, dealing with nosy in-laws, and getting to know your partners house-habits and emotional foibles can be a challenge.
These are 8 pieces of marriage advice for newlyweds to ensure your marriage starts off strong
1. Never go to bed angry
Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry. This Ephesians 4:26 Bible verse has lived on as sage advice for married couples – and for good reason! One study that not only does going to sleep angry strengthen negative memories, but possibility contributes to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
You never know what tomorrow will bring or if you get a second chance to make things right with someone, so why risk it? The only thing going to bed feeling angry or upset with your spouse is going to accomplish is giving you both a terrible night’s sleep.
2. Be honest about your sex life
Not only is sex a fun and exciting part of a marriage, it is also one of the most important ways that couples connect on an intimate level.
As a newly married couple, your sex life should be phenomenal. Even if you did not until marriage to become intimate with one another, there’s something about exchanging those vows that set the bedroom on fire.
Now is the time to be honest about your sex life. Many couples find it helpful to take a deep dive into their bedroom to make sure both partners are satisfied. If you are going to be happily married for the rest of your lives, there’s no reason why you should be faking orgasms or feeling nervous to make a move for sex with your partner. Couples should be honest about how many times they would like to be intimate with one another as well as what type of sex they do and do not enjoy.
3. Don’t sweat the small stuff
You may have promised yourself that you would become a nag like your mom was with your dad – but how the tables turn once you have said: “I do!”
One great piece of marriage advice for newlyweds is not to sweat the small stuff. If your wife has a growing pile of coffee cups next to her desk or your husband leaves his sweaty gym bag in the hallway each morning and it’s making you crazy, ask yourself this: Will it matter tomorrow?
The answer is probably “No”, so why fight about something that, while annoying at the moment, doesn’t make a whole lot of difference in either of your lives?
4. Communicate regularly
One of the biggest pieces of marriage advice for newlyweds is to communicate, communicate, communicate. Happy relationships are built on good communication. Loving partners tell each other when something is bothering them, they don’t resentfully wait for their partner to try and figure out that something is wrong. Communication is also a great way to talk and get to know one another on a deeper level by talking about your feelings, fears, likes, dislikes, and anything else that may come to mind.
5. Always fight fair
Perhaps when you were dating you could fight as unfairly as you pleased, knowing you could simply go home if the argument got heated. But now that you’re married you’re going to feel pretty foolish storming out of the kitchen to ‘get away’ from your partner only to go plop down in the living room.
Learning to fight fair is a part of marriage and maturity. Do not use an argument as an excuse to be disrespectful or discouraging about your partner. Instead, listen to your partner respectfully and focus on the topic at hand so you can find a way to solve the problem together.
6. Always set aside time to connect
Busy schedules and personal obligations may keep you busy, but don’t let that be a reason to skip spending quality time together.
Happy couples set aside time to connect every day. This can become your morning ritual over breakfast or your after-work bonding session. Whenever you can devote 30 minutes to talking with your partner and de-stressing together, do it. Your marriage will benefit from it.
7. Talk about the future
Starting a family, getting a pet, or striving toward a new job are all exciting plans for the future, but those aren’t the only plans you should be making now that you’re married. Plan ahead for holidays and celebrations.
Whose family will you be spending the holidays with? Whose friends get dibs for events like New Year’s Eve? These are important questions that are best to figure out before you hit your first official holiday vacation as a newly married couple.
8. Don’t ignore your other relationships
You may love spending every single free moment you have with your spouse, but don’t forget that your friends and family need you too. They were the ones who were there for you before you ever met your husband or wife, so remember to keep giving them your love and attention.
You’re married now, but that doesn’t mean you’ve become conjoined twins. It’s important for couples to maintain a sense of personal identity. In fact, you may find you’re both happier and more excited to see each other when you’ve been given time to go pursue your own interest and hobbies and to nurture your other relationships.
As you begin your new life together, remember that marriage is a commitment that brings with it a unique set of challenges and rewards. The best marriage advice for newlyweds is tried and true: communicate regularly, don’t sweat the small stuff, and never go to bed angry. By following these tips, you’ll be starting your marriage out strong.
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