“Be careful, how far you push me away, I may end up liking it there…” A famous quote to begin this discourse.
Are you struggling in your marriage? Does it feel like a lot of work? Does he/she suddenly feel like a stranger? Can you stand him or her even after years of living together? Those are the kind of things people go through in marriages and it only means that you are in a healthy relationship. A lot of things are going on in your mind and you bump into marriage separation and you are asking yourself what is marriage separation?
Marriage separation is a mutual agreement between couples to discontinue living together. It does not necessarily mean the revocation of a marriage certificate, but a mere agreement adjusting the couples obligation towards the marriage. Could be in terms of financial obligation or children support among others. As much as it may sound as bad news, in most cases it’s a prelude to divorce. Most popular reasons why people seek for separation are money , infidelity, communication, addictions and sex. Having identified your reasons for a need for separation, you need to figure out how to go about a separation and survive through it. To begin with , it’s difficult to deal with. How do you get over not living with the apple of your eye?
Ways of dealing with a marriage separation swiftly.
1. Accept that it is happening:
People going through a separation tend to be in denial that it is happening. This is because of the thoughts and images going through the mind. Of memories from the past, questioning how they reached at this separation. Already making assumptions about the future and in many cases it’s always positive hopes. You recall that in the vows, separation was nowhere in the picture and you are now fighting with yourself over that. What I would recommend is that you need to find things to do so that you can be distracted. Try new recipes, trace your roots, join a music class, try out new activities. At the end of the day you will be doing something with your life and that’s distraction enough from the marriage separation woes.
2. Speak it out:
They say a problem half shared is a problem half solved. It is for this reason that you need to find someone to talk to. Be it your children, sister, mother best friend or a therapist. You need to speak with someone who you trust now that you cannot speak to your husband as a confidant. To avoid being misjudged you should have discussed with your husband first if the separation is private. Respect that. If it is private, identify other ways of speaking. It could be through pseudo blog posts, talking to a counselor or anything else. Just make sure you let the emotions out so that it does not blow up on you from the inside.
4. Seek professional help:
As much as one need to speak, one need to seek professional counseling. If the case the separation is headed towards divorce, you need to find a lawyer who is supposed to help you go through the whole process. Explain it in bits about assets ownership. Joined bank accounts and child support among other issues.
5. Take time off:
The thought of being alone all of a sudden, maybe scary and that may make compel you to take desperate decisions. Take time off to heal the wounded heart. Don’t pressurize yourself over the breakup, it’s not like this is the end of the world.
6. Don’t start a new relationship:
Being with someone for a period of time creates a bond. In the case of a break up, the heart is deeply wounded. It is at this point where the heart is most gullible and may fall into temptation for someone else. What happens at this time is that you fall in love with someone who pities you . Somebody who understands what you are going through might take advantage of your situation and take advantage of your weakness.
In conclusion, people have gone through the worst during a marriage separation. But it takes a while to actually get over it. We would recommend that to avoid bad decisions, and regretful repercussions take up the above mentioned ways to deal with marriage separation.