You’re usually left without closure when a man abruptly ends a relationship. There’s no opportunity to discuss the issues that led to the decision or have answers to questions like the obvious “why.”
You may not have a proper “goodbye,” and are left to simmer in unresolvable anger, usually wallowing in bitterness and self-pity. One common reaction is self-blame, which tends to cause a diminished self-esteem, believing you must be someone easy to leave.
Instead of allowing the destruction of your confidence of self-worth, it’s vital to pull yourself together, collect your thoughts, and consider what could have happened. Suggestions indicate science might be able to help.
But first, let’s look at the potential reasons for an abrupt breakup.
15 possible reasons for a man to end a relationship abruptly
Usually, if a long-term relationship ended abruptly, there were signs of problems that were being overlooked. People don’t tend to leave if everything is good all of a sudden without having a reason.
It appears that way when the person doesn’t offer a detailed explanation. If the person left behind considers the intricacies of the partnership, they might realize where the problems lie.
How has your man been behaving recently? Have there been verbal hints as to what he’s thinking? Check out a few possibilities for when he ends the relationship abruptly.
1. The partnership has lost its glow
Some people choose to sweep problems under the carpet instead of facing them head-on, opening the dialog. If the happiness in the relationship has dimmed or a partner seems less involved, it’s vital to address the issue immediately.
You can’t make things work by ignoring what’s obvious, especially if there’s mention of things that bother your mate. Unhappiness can only last so long, and the individual will decide to move on.
Since lack of communication was the theme of the relationship, that will likely seem appropriate for the ending.
2. Someone is afraid of commitment
The partnership might have been going well when a man abruptly ends a relationship. There might have been discussions on moving to the next level, but your partner gets scared.
The more casual setup was preferable instead of considering the notion of losing independence and freedom. Instead of choosing to get serious, the relationship ends abruptly.
3. The feeling is there’s no future together
On the other side of that same coin, when a man abruptly ends a relationship, he may believe the partnership has no chance for a future. Your partner might not be afraid to commit but wants to ensure it’s right.
This doesn’t feel like a relationship that will stand the test of time. Since it’s come to the point of moving forward, it’s better to stop before there’s more heartbreak. If you genuinely consider it, you would probably find that this mate is not necessarily your “one” either.
If a relationship ends abruptly, often, one person has fallen out of love. That doesn’t mean the individual never loved you. There could have been rough patches causing a mate to develop a different perspective, pushing them away from the relationship.
In some cases, there’s no specific event or problem; it’s just that the honeymoon phase ends, and the feelings go away. Some people walk away after that.
Sometimes when a man abruptly ends a relationship, he might have career-ending problems happening on the job front or illness among his family, leaving little time for a romantic relationship.
These things will be time-intensive and require full energy, so instead of doing battle over prioritizing better, the mate quietly decides to walk away.
6. Interest has developed in another person
If a relationship ends abruptly, often, there can be a straightforward reason that is the apparent forethought for most partners; there’s another person involved.
Perhaps, your mate cheated or is interested in pursuing another individual but would prefer to break up instead of cheating. There is not necessarily a cause or blame. The two of you didn’t have sustainability.
Watch this video if you want to look at infidelity differently:
7. You cared more than they did
A common problem when a relationship ends suddenly is that one of the partners cares more than the other. After some time, instead of continuing to appear to be leading the individual on, the mate will walk away from what becomes an uncomfortable situation.
After the honeymoon stage is over, the relationship should come to a point where you begin to develop a more meaningful connection leaving aside the small chit-chat in favor of deeper conversations and intentional interactions.
If the two of you are having awkward silences with an inability to find something to discuss, you might find the reason why a woman suddenly ends a relationship too.
9. The negativity is too intense
When a man abruptly ends a relationship, it’s usually not making him feel good. If there’s a lot of complaining or criticisms, maybe consistent bad moods, most people would want to break away from that in favor of some positivity.
Perhaps, you went through a rough patch or had an intense argument. If a genuine resolution was not achieved, a partner could be furious. That can lead to an abrupt decision to move on instead of attempting to repair the situation.
In some situations, a partner can expect the infatuation that comes with the initial dating period to go on. The ideology that the other person is mere perfection with no quirks or flaws begins to wane, and it comes as a disappointment.
The standards for the partnership, and you, are too high for anyone to be able to achieve.
13. Your partner believes you’re too good for them
Whether you agree with them or not, when a mate doesn’t feel good enough for someone, a relationship won’t work. They will constantly try to do or be something they’re not in an effort to meet unattainable goals.
This is to put themself in a category they believe will come close to you. It’s self-defeating, and a partner will ultimately find it not worth it.
14. Your partner couldn’t talk to you
When a couple has no communication skills in the relationship, not only can problems go unresolved, but neither person can feel supported when they need someone to be there for them.
Developing a constructive communication style that allows you to work out conflict and enables sharing of troubles or even good news is vital. When a man abruptly ends a relationship, he could find that he can’t talk to you.
15. There’s a troubling past your partner can’t deal with
You might have shared about your past, and there are things you’re not necessarily proud of, but you didn’t want to keep secrets. You feel this person is special.
The problem is that your mate is unsettled with what you’ve shared and doesn’t know he can handle the issues. Instead of attempting to work through them, perhaps with counseling assistance, the individual chooses not to deal.
10 coping tips when a man abruptly ends a relationship
When a man abruptly ends a relationship, it can be challenging to cope since there’s no explanation, no discussion, and ultimately no closure. There’s more of a sting, meaning the healing phase could take longer since you need more time to process where things went wrong.
That doesn’t mean you won’t still grow stronger from experience and come out on top; you’ll need to give yourself ample time.
The book by Marvin Scholz, ‘Learning to Heal a Broken Heart‘ talks about how breakups can be converted into breakthroughs
Here are a few tips on how to make these breakthroughs after a breakup:
1. Time for healing
Allow significant time for grieving and healing. It will take longer since this came out of the blue. That means looking at the partnership with fresh eyes to see it for what it was.
That will involve wellness and not a half-gallon of ice cream and alcohol. Indulge yourself with plenty of healthy exercise and wholesome foods. Plus, see a medical practitioner to have your stress level monitored.
Stress can affect general health significantly. It would help if you kept it controlled.
Decide to make a few changes in your life. If this was a long-term situation, you’re being given a fresh start. Assess where you want to go and what you’d like to do to make that new beginning beneficial for you, maybe a new job or a new apartment.
4. Embrace being on your own
Enjoy getting to know yourself by staying on your own sans a relationship for a substantial period. Allow yourself time to genuinely get to know yourself by engaging in new hobbies or interests and reconnecting with old friends. Plus, visit family you might have been neglecting.
5. Step outside your comfort zone
There might be some things you’ve wanted to do but have always been afraid to check out, like maybe going back to school or trying for a job promotion. This is an ideal opportunity to dive into something that challenges you, where you need to step away from what’s familiar.
6. Steer clear of self-blaming
As you work through the grieving process, it will be difficult not to want to blame yourself, especially since your mate just hauled off. That was their character flaw, not yours.
There should have been some communication regardless of what the reasoning was. It takes two people to cause complications in a relationship. No one individual is ever to blame.
Make sure you get rid of any mementos you have from the partnership. This should happen after the grieving process since it will be difficult to see these things while healing. Make sure not to hold onto anything. It’s unnecessary.
8. Disconnect all the contacts
In that same vein, ensure you have disconnected any potential for the individual to be able to contact you on any platform.
Disconnecting includes blocking them from social networks, deleting their mobile number, tossing out their email address or any ability to reach out. That includes a snail mail address.
9. Create a sense of closure for yourself
One method for creating a sense of closure is to write down what you feel about the relationship and what you would have said if there had been a last discussion. When you get all the feelings out, burn the content. You will feel vindicated.
10. Join a dating site
After reaching your acceptance and feeling brand new, it’s time to get back out there.
While the dating landscape is virtual, it allows a better opportunity to choose than in real-time with strangers. It’s wise to filter your preferences as narrowly as possible to get someone who will enhance this new life you have created for yourself.
When a man abruptly ends a relationship, it can be devastating, requiring a substantial healing period. It can also be an incredible learning experience.
You can let the sudden ending break you or look at it like it was presented to give you a chance to create more favorable opportunities in life. Choose to move on with your head high and a brilliant outlook.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.