How a Lack of Communication in Marriage Can Affect Relationships

A lack of communication in marriage is a fast track to divorce. A marriage consists of two people who come from different backgrounds and have different methods of communication, wants, and needs. So it’s understandable how these varying factors can make it difficult for couples to talk. Your relationship needs strong emotional and physical bonds to succeed.

Your work, home, and sex life will all suffer when you do not share your thoughts and feelings with your partner. This makes it all the more important to learn to communicate with your spouse, even when the subject matter is awkward or uncomfortable.

When one partner freezes the other one out there will be trouble to follow. Here are 8 reasons why a lack of communication in marriage is not healthy.

1. Leads to money problems

Money can be a touchy subject for most people. This topic may feel a little awkward to broach, especially if you are in the process of merging your finances or haven’t told your partner about any debts you owe.

Whether you’re sharing a bank account or keeping your finances separate, it is still important to talk about your monthly expenses. Couples who do not talk about money matters may overspend, feel held back by not being the breadwinner, and end up in deeper debts than when they were single.

It is important for couples to discuss budgeting and to be open about their debts and expenses.

2. You become emotionally distant

The less you communicate with your spouse, the more emotionally distant you will become. Talking is how you connect. When there is a lack of communication in marriage, love also starts to fade.

One study on the behavior of couples, conducted over 40 years, found that the most common communication problems revolve around partner’s refusing to communicate (silent treatment), partner criticism, defensive communication, and overall contempt when trying to talk to one another.

Emotional distance is a large factor in divorce. When couples grow distant, they are less inclined to have sex, have a date night, or fix what is going wrong in the marriage.

3. Results in wrong assumptions

When couples are not open with one another it can be easy for them to start making assumptions. If you aren’t letting your spouse know you’ll be late at the office or are heading out with your friends after work instead of coming home they may assume you are doing something you shouldn’t be.

If you are not communicating with your spouse, all sorts of assumptions can be made in the relationship. If you’re too tired and turn down sex one evening, your partner may assume you are bored with them and feel neglected. If you are bottling up personal problems, your spouse may think they are the source of your anxiety.

4. Your sex life suffers

There are many sexual problems that arise when there is a lack of communication in marriage. For example, a lack of orgasm may result in frustration between married partners and can cause hostility and disappointment.

Likewise, one person may desire sex but feels incapable of making the first move. This can be frustrating for both spouses.

Couples need to have open and honest conversations about their intimate life and preferences. Sexual frequency, fantasies, needs, and turn-ons are all important conversations couples need to have in order to create an equally satisfying sexual relationship.

5. No communication means no compromise

You can’t be right all the time, as much as you might wish otherwise. Relationships require balance. A great relationship is built on trust, respect, and compromise. When there is no communication in relationships, couples have no room to compromise.

If you can’t meet in the middle over certain issues in your marriage, you are essentially invalidating your partner’s wants, needs, and feelings. This can be very dangerous to the success of a relationship. Your spouse needs you to recognize their emotions and support them. Such behavior will promote love and trust.

6. You seek others to fill the void

It is no surprise that a lack of communication in marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce. Couples who don’t talk to one another are nothing more than roommates. Drawing away from your spouse in thought or action can be extremely damaging to the relationship

Feeling a lack of validation or that your partner does not hear you or care for your needs can be discouraging. This lack of respect and love can create insecurities, which might cause one spouse to seek someone outside of the marriage to fill what they feel their marriage is lacking.

7. It shows neglect

One sign that you are neglecting your relationship is if you and your spouse have stopped communicating. Whether the topic is big or small, your relationship can only suffer when you and your partner refuse to talk.

Happy, healthy relationships focus on sharing thoughts, feelings, and time with one another. Communicating is what keeps you interested in one another, it’s how your partner learns to read you, how you connect, and how you resolve the conflict.

8. The marriage becomes stagnant

People are always changing and growing. This fact makes it very important for couples to learn to embrace change and to grow together. When there is a lack of communication in marriage it can cause the relationship to become stagnant.

You should never stop learning about your partner. You need to learn to evolve together in order to develop a trusting, mature relationship where you both clearly understand the other’s wants and needs.

A lack of communication in marriage can spell disaster for the relationship. Talking with your spouse is how you express your joy, sorrow, wants, needs, and how you resolve a conflict.

This information is integral to a healthy marriage. Work hard to be open with your spouse. Doing so will raise your relationship satisfaction and bring you closer together.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

I want to be open, but part of me still guards my heart

Our discussions sometimes spiral or end unresolved

It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

We often see things differently about goals or priorities

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