How to Heal a Broken Heart: 20 Effective Ways

It is beautiful to find someone you admire and cherish, then fall in love with that person. Every moment can be blissful; you can play, laugh, wine, and dine together. 

The experience can last forever. But it can also suddenly, due to one reason or the other, your partner can break your heart.

This experience can be devastating, especially when you’ve learned to rely on and trust your partner. If you have been heartbroken or are experiencing heartbreak right now, it’s time to learn how to heal a broken heart. 

Of course, it is not easy to cope with a broken heart or pick up the fragments, mend a broken heart and move on.

But you must understand that everything heals with time.

Time will heal a broken heart if you take the proper steps. How long does a broken heart last? 

This depends on the person’s approach to life, but do you know you can recover from heartbreak if you are willing to work at it?

What causes heartbreak when a relationship ends? 

There’s a slight difference between a person experiencing heartbreak and a person who lost a loved one; the pain from break up is almost like the pain suffered from the death of a loved one.

Do you often ask, “what does heartbreak feel like?” Well, people cope with a broken heart differently. Most people cry their hearts out and turn their backs to love. 

Breakups are hard and painful irrespective of your personality type, except if you never loved your partner. 

Breakups are accompanied by a couple of feelings or emotional states of mind, and they can be very traumatic, which is why you must learn how to heal a broken heart. The following are some feelings that go alongside breakups, thereby making it a challenging experience:

1. Broken promises

You often reflect on the promises your partner made to you while in the relationship and how your partner failed to keep those promises. 

It hurts when your partner always says to you, “you and I are going to be together forever, no matter what,” and here you are, heartbroken by your partner after such a promise.

Related Reading: Breaking Promises in a Relationship – How to Deal With It

2. The feeling of shame and humiliation

Maybe you’ve bragged about how much your partner loves you and cannot leave you while you are together.  

It is often difficult to face the same people to whom you bragged about your relationship.

Related Reading: What Is Toxic Shame? Signs, Causes and How to Cope

3. The feeling of being guilty

Sometimes, you may ponder on the root cause of the breakup. 

You may feel guilty for being responsible for the separation, maybe because you failed to live up to the expectation of your partner. 

4. The feeling of anxiety

Due to heartbreak, you may feel anxious about entering another relationship. 

You may think you’re not worthy of being loved, primarily if your partner blamed your flaws and weaknesses as reasons for your break up.

5. Emotional trauma and depression

Breakup tends to lead to psychological injury and imbalance. Someone heartbroken can enter into depression if it’s not adequately managed. Some can even attempt suicide due to depression if not properly guided.

6. The feeling of being rejected

Imagine trying to call your ex and wanting to clear things out before you part ways, yet this person refuses to answer back, blocks you, or ignores you like you’re not there.

The pain of a broken heart is indeed, in terms, indescribable.

You two might have broken up for many reasons, but feeling rejected is enough to break your heart repeatedly.

What’s worse is when you’re trying to heal a broken heart but later see that your ex has quickly moved on with no regret.

7. Feeling like you won’t be happy again

Learning how to heal a broken heart often becomes harder because you can’t let go of all the wonderful memories you’ve shared. You might think that the broken heart that you have now will not mend and you won’t be happy again.

Unfortunately, to heal a broken heart, you need to treasure the memories, accept the present and look forward to a better future.

Sometimes, even if you have done everything you can, you can’t save your relationship, and the only way to be happy again is to move on.

8. The feeling of being betrayed

Sometimes, when the cause of a broken heart is infidelity, can you even rush and heal your heart?

A broken heart healing is possible when you have settled all differences and both have moved on. But is it possible to allow healing a broken heart when the cause is betrayal?

This may be one of the most painful reasons couples break up and moving on is hard. It’s hard because questions are left unanswered and you wonder, what’s wrong with me? Am I not enough?

These factors hinder healing and the process could become unbearable over time.

9. A future without the person you love

“You are just heartbroken. You can move on. Mending a broken heart is easy. Don’t think too much of it.”

We’ve heard lines like this before. However, following what people tell you to do when heartbroken is challenging.

It’s easier said than done, as they say, and they are correct.

For someone who had loved so much, moving forward without the person they cherish is hard, and sometimes, the fact that you are no longer holding this person’s hand makes the process tough.

10. Losing the person you love

Learning how to heal a broken heart is hard because you have loved it so much. Losing the person you have been with for months, years, or decades is difficult.

We know how to fix a broken heart, but when you are in the situation, healing heartbreak is not that easy.

It’s also true that each one of us is different. Some steps to healing a broken heart can come easy; in some, we might feel like we’re going back to square one.

Learning how to heal a broken heart depends on the situation, the people involved, and even how strong your support system is.

Related Reading: How to Cope With the Fear of Losing Someone You Love?

5 signs of heartbreak after a breakup

Before we go over the advice for broken hearts, let’s first check out the five signs that you are facing heartbreak after a breakup. 

1. You lose the will to be happy 

Getting over a heartbreak is hard, especially if your joy has been with your ex for many years. Suddenly, you may not find happiness or a reason to smile.

Suddenly, your life becomes quiet and lifeless. You dwell in pain, memories, and intrusive thoughts that, over time, could cause more damage.

2. You cry a lot

Crying is a way for some of us to start dealing with heartbreak pain. Some people cry whenever they encounter the different triggers of their past relationships. May it be a song, book, movie, or your ex’s favorite food.

These will trigger you to remember the pain and how much you miss your ex. Crying is a way for some people to pour out the pain and hurt they are feeling.

3. You get a broken heart

Do you know why it is called a broken heart? Because when you have been hurt by the person you love, it feels like your heart is being stabbed.

The pain is felt inside that chest of yours. You can’t breathe and you clutch your chest in pain. It feels like it will explode in pain, thus, being called a heartbreak.

4. Sleeping too much or sleeping too little

When you’re heartbroken, you either eat and sleep too much or eat and sleep less than normal.

Both are deemed destructive for your health; over time, they could lead to depression or even health issues. Because of your heartbreak, your mind can trick you into eating and sleeping too much or too little.

Dr. Julie Smith, a clinical psychologist, discusses one of the most important things about depression. How do you beat a low mood when you have depression? Dr. Smith offers some solutions in this video:

5. Suicidal thoughts

Unfortunately, if you think all those four signs are bad, some people might not handle a breakup that easily. They slowly transition to depression, often masking their pain so that other people wouldn’t notice.

This is one of the most dangerous signs of heartbreak because depression is hidden and often masked by fake smiles. 

Behind these smiles are intrusive thoughts of suicide and a lack of willingness to live another day. 

If you or someone you know showcases signs of depression, please seek help immediately.

How long does a broken heart last

Each breakup story is different. That’s aside from the fact that we are all different people who deal with problems differently.

However, if you look into statistics, there was a study that focused on how to heal a broken heart. According to the study, most people gave themselves 4 – 7 days to wallow in grief.

After their relationship ends, they would cry and dwell on the pain, and after that, they would move on, which will take months if we’re talking about a serious relationship.

Again, we’re all different; with a relationship therapist‘s help, some could heal in weeks, while others may take months.

20 ways to heal a broken heart  

Heartbreaks can be very traumatic. Before looking for the remedy for a broken heart, know that there isn’t only one remedy. 

If you don’t learn how to heal a broken heart, it could lead to some adverse outcomes such as depression, an attempt at suicide, etc. 

Although it is not easy to mend a broken heart, the following are a possible cure for a broken heart:

1. Just cry it out

Heartbreaks are enervating. They can cause you both physical as well as emotional pain. Do you want to know how to heal a broken heart? 

Start by crying to heal heartbreak!

It has been observed that people who swallow the pains of heartbreak or any other negative experience may end up in depression and, in some cases, end up committing suicide. Crying has a way of relieving you of your pains, hurt, sadness, and bitterness.

Related Reading: 25 Breakup Texts to End the Relationship with Dignity

2. Talk to a confidant 

Healing a broken heart takes effort on your part. Often, you will want to find a listening ear when you go through challenges. 

Therefore, rather than keeping your heartbreak issue personal and managing the pains, why not find someone you respect and trust or a professional, then let it out to the person.

3. Resolve to be happy

Do you often ask the question, “how can you mend a broken heart?” Start by having a resolve to be happy. Have you heard the saying, “happiness is a choice”? 

Of course, you find yourself working hard to accomplish whatever you choose to do. So, resolve that you will be happy no matter the situation.

Related Reading: 15 Dos and Don’ts that Happy Couples Follow Differently

4. Hang out with friends

One way to heal a broken heart is by surrounding yourself with family and friends. Loneliness has a way of reawakening the past, especially negative experiences. 

Take out time to hang out with your friends. Play, laugh, have fun and be happy.

5. Please don’t talk about it anymore

You can avoid talking about your past after you’ve shared your emotional burden with a confidant. Don’t reflect on it and start discussing it with anyone. 

No good driver keeps looking in the rearview mirror without an accident. Look forward to it!

6. Capitalize on your strength

If your breakup was due to your flaws or weaknesses, reminiscing on them will hurt you more. You could hate yourself for having such inadequacies. 

Everyone has one fault or the other. So, stop looking at the wrong side of your life and start looking at your great and unique attributes.

7. Find a new hobby

To ensure you’re not idle and to prevent the thoughts of the past from coming to your mind again, engage in doing what you love. 

You can find a new hobby, learn a skill, enroll in a course online or join a band. It will drive the thoughts away when they try to creep in.

Related Reading: Bonding Hobbies for Couples

8. Don’t create a philosophy from your heartbreak

Refrain from being so engrossed with the situation to the point whereby you carve out your pessimistic philosophy about relationships or life. 

Avoiding saying, “Maybe I may never find true love.”

9. Loosen up

You are not the first to be heartbroken. Neither would you be last. Therefore, cheer up and loosen up. Allow yourself to feel love again. Of course, some people love you irrespective of the reason for your break up. 

So, free yourself from grief and sadness. Let love flow through your beautiful soul again.

10. Move on

Don’t make a resolution that you’ll never love again after a breakup. It is not true that you cannot love and be loved by someone again. 

You only chose to be engrossed in your past.  

Take the initiative and move on if you find someone genuinely interested in you and the person who loves you. This will allow you to heal a broken heart and move on.

11. Discard everything that reminds you of your partner

If you are sure about moving on and are ready to do so, you must delete the pictures, text messages, and everything that reminds you of your partner who caused you heartbreak.

12. Learn to be strong alone

You can be stronger with a partner when you learn to be strong alone. The period of a breakup can help you become stronger if you channel it rightly.

Practice self-love!

13. Be patient with the process

The healing process of a wound takes time and effort. Likewise, healing a broken heart requires time. Be willing to give your heart time to heal.

14. Take a break, go for a vacation

Leaving your current environment will help speed up the healing process, so why not take a break and go somewhere you love? Maybe an island! Go to an exotic place or have a spa day.

15. See the heartbreak as a ladder

Living with a broken heart is not an option! Instead of dwelling on the past hurt, see the breakup as an opportunity to meet someone new and refreshing.

16. Get a pet

If you’re a lover of pets, you should get your favorite pet. Having a pet can be a way of ensuring that you’re not lonely.

17. Make peace with your partner

Ever wondered what to do when your heart is broken? 

Make peace with the one that broke it. The more you hate your partner due to the breakup, the more pain and hurt you will carry in your heart. 

Try to deal with heartbreak. Try to get over the grief and hatred, and then make peace with the one who broke your heart.

18. Ask questions

It might help when you ask someone you know who had gone through a breakup before how they dealt with the situation. Be sure to ask the right person not to be misled.

Related Reading: 125 Good Relationship Questions To Ask Your Partner

19. Visit the beach or a zoo

There is a positive force inbuilt into nature. The cool breeze at the beach has a way of releasing calmness into your spirit. 

The sight of the animals at the zoo can be fascinating and make you forget about your worries, at least for the moment.

20. Try something for the first time

Since the last thing you want to feel at the moment is boredom and loneliness, finding something interesting you could do for the first time, mountain climbing with your friends or starting a workout exercise at the gym, can be nice. 

Or, do anything that gives you an incredible adrenaline rush that will help you forget your grief! Start living your life. There’s so much to do!

Commonly asked questions

Is a broken heart painful?

Yes! Absolutely! Not only is a broken heart painful in terms of emotions. The signs of a broken heart can lead to physical signs and psychological effects.

It doesn’t matter if you didn’t work out; you fell out of love, or someone cheated, a broken heart hurt because you loved one another. You made promises, spent memories together and planned your future together.

Love, as beautiful as it is, can also be why some people would literally hold their chest in pain.

That’s love. It’s a risk worth taking; if it fails, it can bring your entire world crashing down.

Conclusion

It’s okay to be heartbroken and to be hurt! Next, you have to know how to heal a broken heart.

But it is not okay to allow the injury from heartbreak to consume you. With the points above, allow yourself to overcome the heartbreak by learning how to heal a broken heart.

Always know that you can choose to be happy and heal from a broken heart. Why not choose happiness over sadness? 

It will do you a lot of good if you decide to be happy and intentionally work at it.