20 Signs He’s Using You

When you love someone or have a crazy crush, it’s natural to forgive their flaws. But what happens when the flaws you are overlooking are the signs he’s using you?

Being used by a guy is one of the worst feelings in the world, especially when you believed you had given each other your hearts.

• Is he using me for sex?
• Is he using me for money?
• Does he really love me, or is he using me?

This article will answer those questions and more. Keep reading to find out signs he’s using you and learn how to stop being used in a relationship.

20 signs a man is using you

Here are listed twenty signs a man is using you. Read on to know if you have been observing any of these signs in your relationship, and take appropriate action to save yourself from the distress.

1. He doesn’t put in any effort

Is he using me for sex or money?

One sign that he is coming from his actions, or lack thereof!

If he doesn’t put any effort into his appearance, impressing you, romancing you, or making plans to see you, take this as a relationship red flag.

2. He won’t talk about commitment

Have you ever tried to talk to your guy about the future?

If he’s giving vague answers about your future together or seems to avoid the topic altogether, it could mean that he isn’t planning on sticking around for very long.

3. He doesn’t engage you in conversation

Research published by Harvard University found that being curious about your partner is what keeps the fire alive in a relationship.

If your boyfriend doesn’t engage you in conversation or seem curious about you and your life, it could be a sign that he just wants sex from you.

4. He only calls you for one thing

Is he using me for sex? One of the biggest signs he’s using you is if he only ever comes over for one thing- sex!

As much as you are crushing over your guy, if he’s only sending you late-night booty calls, odds are he does not return your warm and fuzzy feelings.

5. You don’t know his friends or family

Close couples want to get to know each other, and that includes meeting close friends and family.

If you’ve been together for a while and you still haven’t met his friends, there could be a shady reason why. Perhaps you are the “other woman,” or his friends have no idea that you exist.

6. He doesn’t check-in when you’re apart

How can I be sure my boyfriend used me?

One of the signs he’s using you can be seen in his texting behavior.

Someone who cares about you is going to engage you in conversation. He’s going to send you cute messages and try to make you laugh.

If you’re finding “he always talks sexually to me” when he texts you or he never goes out of his way to keep in touch throughout the day, your man is probably using you.

7. He’s selfish

Is he using me? Signs he’s using you often include selfish behavior.

• He doesn’t care about your feelings
• He just wants sex
• He’s a selfish lover who doesn’t care about your pleasure

If you suspect your crush or boyfriend is a narcissist, do yourself a favor and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.

8. There is no courtship

When a guy is into you, he wants to take you out on the town and show you off. He wants to romance you and show you a fun time out.

On the other hand, a guy who is using you isn’t going to bother spending money on you. There won’t be any dates, romantic surprises, or sweet nothings whispered in your ear.

9. He doesn’t have empathy for you

How to know if a guy is using you or likes you all comes down to how he treats you. One of the big signs he’s using you is if he doesn’t have empathy.

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes.

If he doesn’t respect or understand your feelings, he’s a jerk who you are better off without.

10. You are his bank account

Is my boyfriend using me financially? This one is pretty easy to figure out.

If you’re wondering, “Is he using me for money?” all you have to do is look at his past behavior.

• He always hints that he needs money for bills
• He is unemployed
• He lets you pay for his dinner
• He asks for money and never pays you back

These are all obvious signs that all he wants from you is your cash.

11. You don’t know each other

Is he using me for sex?

To get the answer, take a look at how well you know each other.

Do you share personal stories and feelings, or is your time usually spent watching television or exploring the physical side of your relationship?

If you don’t know anything personal about your man, it is a sign that your relationship is not as deep as you thought it was.

12. You suspect you’re his side piece

Infidelity hurts. One research text shows that of 73 adults studied, 45.2% reported infidelity-related PTSD symptoms after being cheated on.

Signs that you are the other woman include:

• He never sleeps over
• He takes phone calls in another room
• He’s always texting another woman
• You’ve never (or rarely) been to his house
• He keeps you off his socials
• He doesn’t take pictures with you
• You don’t go out in public together
• He has multiple phones

If you suspect he has another girlfriend, take it as a red flag that you are being used in a relationship.

13. He doesn’t communicate

Is he using me for money or sex? A man who can’t seem to communicate (or doesn’t WANT to communicate with you) is one of the big signs he’s using you.

Communication is how you deepen your bond, especially in a new relationship. If your boyfriend doesn’t want to open up or problem-solve with you, it may be a sign he’s not as into the relationship as you are.

14. You never go out on real dates

Another sign that may make you ask, “Is my boyfriend using me?” is if the two of you never seem to leave the bedroom.

If your boyfriend’s idea of a perfect date night is Netflix and Chill, then he’s made it clear that he isn’t going to put any effort into your ‘relationship’ than is necessary.

15. He’s always asking you for something

Is my boyfriend using me financially?

Is he using me for sex?

Is he using me to pass the time?

The biggest sign he’s using you is if he’s always asking for something. Whether he comes over and he just wants sex, or he’s constantly dropping hints about how broke he is, take it as a warning.

16. You can feel it in your gut

One of the stronger signs that he is using you is your intuition.

Your gut feeling is your body’s way of telling you to be careful. It’s your instinct designed to protect your emotional and physical wellbeing.

If you can’t shake the feeling that something is off in your relationship, it may be time to investigate what’s really going on.

17. He doesn’t seem to care about your feelings

Did he love me or use me?

Blatant signs he’s using you can be seen by the way he treats you. If he just wants sex and never asks you how you’re doing – take it as a bad sign.

Someone who is invested in you is going to be considerate of your feelings and will care what’s going on in your life.

18. He has a reputation for using girls

There’s something to be said for giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Gossip is not to be trusted and often comes from unreputable information.

However, if your man has a public reputation for using women for sex, money, or just to pass the time, it may be a rumor worth your attention.

19. He ghosts you

Did your relationship take a turn that you never saw coming? One of the big signs he’s using you is if he cuts off all contact with you without an explanation.

Much like a ghost, a man who is not interested in you will stop answering your calls and texts, remove you from social media, and avoid you in person without telling you why.

20. He never goes out of his way for you

Is he using me for sex? One tip on how to test a guy to see if he really loves you is to take note of what he’s willing to do for you.

We’re not saying a man should bend over backward for you every minute of the day, but if he cares about you, he’ll want to be there for you when you need him.

Also Try: Is He Using Me Quiz

How to stop being used by a guy?

Is he using me? If you see warning signs from the list above, odds are YES; he is using you.

Now that you know the signs he’s using you, it’s time to make a game plan for your romantic future.

Things you can do to learn how to stop being used by a guy are:

• Ditch anyone in your life who makes you feel like your only purpose is to serve them – including your boyfriend.
• Take responsibility for the role you play – Acknowledge any missteps that have led you to date players and correct them.
• Develop self-love and boost your confidence – this will help reinforce the belief that you deserve more than to be used.
• Is he using me for money? If you suspect yes, tell him you are not his personal bank account.
• Don’t chase someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings.
• Learn the signs for how to know if a guy is using you or likes you.
• Put your foot down – develop boundaries and don’t stop until your boyfriend shows you respect.
• Know when enough is enough – being alone is better than being with someone who manipulates and uses you.
• If he just wants sex, ditch him.
• Communicate openly and be clear about what you’re looking for in a relationship
• Date – don’t be exclusive with someone until you see that they respect and care about you.

Follow the steps above on how to stop being used by a guy, and you’ll be on your way to a happy, healthy future.

Related Reading: How to Tell If He Really Likes You or It’s Just a Fling

Conclusion

Being used by a guy is something that no woman should experience.

Signs of being used in a relationship include only getting booty calls, never talking about commitment, and not developing a deep connection to your spouse.

Why did he use me?

This is a question we cannot answer, but we can provide clarity on dealing with being used by a man and moving on to a happier future.

You can learn how to get over being used by a guy by developing self-love and confidence, only dating men who respect you, and being clear about what you’re looking from in a partner.

We hope you’ve learned all you need to know about the top signs he’s using you.

Also Watch: