“I feel like my boyfriend and I are just friends.” Is this you?
Several signs, some subtle and some very obvious, can indicate that your relationship feels like friendship and nothing more. There are several reasons as to why this may happen.
But don’t worry; there are ways to fix the situation you may be in. Moreover, it’s always best to be informed about these signs so that you can work on them at the very beginning!
Read on and learn about everything you can do if the thought “I feel like my partner and I are just friends” has been bothering you!
Is it normal for romantic relationships to feel like friendship?
Different people have different love languages. People express their romantic inclination towards their significant others in different ways. A solid friendship is just one of the many ways this special bond is developed and nurtured.
If there is justplatonic love and admiration for each other, after a while, one or both of you may feel like there is definitely something missing in the bond because the relationship feels like friendship.
3. You both feel like the typical pet names are too cheesy
Do you feel awkward at the thought of referring to your boyfriend as “baby,” “honey,” “darling,” “love,” etc.? Maybe it doesn’t feel natural to use these terms with each other.
This could mean that the relationship you share leans more toward friendship.
4. You two always split the bill
Finances in romantic relationships are important. It’s crucial to maintain a balance where the partners take turns to pay the bill and sometimes split the bill. However, if you’re always splitting the bill, it may be becoming very platonic.
Why so? It’s because this is something people mostly do with their friends.
5. Sex seems funny to both of you
Another big sign that your relationship feels like friendship is if you just can’t take sexual intimacy seriously. When they are always casual about sex and intimacy, it can signal that your boyfriend or girlfriend just wants to be friends.
If one or both partners find sex with each other to be funny, the relationship may be turning platonic.
7. Public displays of affection with your partner seem awkward to you
Couples who are together often engage in PDA. It’s quite normal and acceptable. But if you feel like your partner just wants to be friends, you two probably feel very awkward about publicly expressing your love for each other.
You hang out with your significant other like you would with a friend.
8. You find couple activities to be very cheesy
The idea of aromantic date night or movie night, or a long stroll in the park with your boyfriend makes you feel cringy.
This happens if you see them as just a friend.
9. There’s no passion
Although it’s quite normal for that spark between two partners to dim down a little as a relationship progresses, a complete lack of passion may be a sign of just friendship.
13. You’re both on the lookout (consciously or subconsciously) for someone else
Although it’s absolutely okay to check out an attractive stranger, it isn’t normal if either or both of you feel the need to be romantically involved with someone else.
14. You don’t talk anymore
If you find yourself not interested in catching up with your significant other as regularly as you used to, the communication between you and your partner has been affected. This can be a sign that the relationship is a friendship.
As mentioned earlier, the spark and passion between two people may dim with time, but the relationship feels like friendship if emotional andphysical intimacy is gone.
Is it a roommate-like relationship? Well, to identify, you need to watch this video by Psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini:
3 reasons why your relationship feels like a long-term friendship
As mentioned above, a relationship based on friendship is beautiful, but there’s so much more that goes into it than just friendship.
Now that you know some hallmark signs, let’s take a look at the reasons why your relationship feels like friendship:
1. The romantic relationship may have hit a plateau
If your romantic relationship doesn’t feel romantic anymore and just feels like a friendship, it may have hit a plateau. Maybe both you and your partner expect the other person to take some sort of action toreignite that spark, love, and passion.
If you’re stuck at this stage for too long in the hopes that the other person will do something to revive that love, the connection will turn completely platonic.
For a romantic relationship to work out in the long run, you both need tofind each other attractive (physically and sexually). Attraction and intimacy are the two primary ingredients in any romantic relationship.
If intimacy and attraction are missing, the relationship will automatically feel like a platonic bond.
3. You two have different needs and wants
If you and your partner are at two different places in life and you don’t see each other in the same light, the bond can start to feel like a friendship and just that.
Say you aren’t attracted to your girlfriend/boyfriend, and you don’t see them as your significant other, but they see you as their partner and are attracted to you; things can turn very awkward.
How to fix a relationship that only appears to be friendship
Friendship in a relationship is important but isn’t the be-all-end-all of a relationship. You’ve acquainted yourself with the signs that your relationship may be turning into a pure friendship and the top 3 reasons as to why this happens.
Now it’s time to take a look at what you and your partner can do about this situation. When your relationship feels like friendship, it’s time to solve this problem at the root.
So, instead of expecting your partner to do something to revive that love and passion suddenly, it’s time you take things into your own hands. It’s time to be proactive to bring back all that heat and romance.
There are exercises and strategies covered in the following section that you may consider implementing.
15 things to do when your relationship feels like friendship
If your relationship feels like friendship, you may consider doing these 15 things that have been listed as follows:
If this turn in your relationship has made you feel upset, it’s better to get it out in the open with your partner. But nagging about this to your partner is counterproductive.
So, acknowledge it together and then try implementing any of the following exercises to work on this matter.
3. Go on double dates
Being around other couples with your partner can help you remember and revive what’s missing in your relationship. You and your partner can observe other couples and how they are around each other by going on some double dates.
Understanding our feelings within relationships can be tough. Let’s answer some common questions about the differences between love and friendship and how they work together in relationships.
What’s the difference between how love and friendship feel?
Love often involves intense emotional and physical attraction, a desire for closeness, and a deep commitment to another person. Friendship, on the other hand, is characterized by companionship, shared interests, trust, and mutual support.
Love tends to be more passionate and romantic, while friendship is rooted in camaraderie and shared experiences.
Is there friendship in a relationship?
Yes, friendship is a crucial component of a healthy romantic relationship. A strong emotional connection and compatibility are often built on a foundation of friendship. Sharing common interests, values, and trust can strengthen the bond between partners, making the relationship more fulfilling and enduring.
What is a relationship supposed to feel like?
A healthy relationship should feel like a safe and supportive partnership. It involves open communication, trust, respect, and emotional intimacy. Both partners should feel valued, understood, and able to be themselves. While challenges may arise, the overall experience should be one of happiness, growth, and mutual fulfillment.
Is it love, or are we simply friends?
Distinguishing between love and friendship within a relationship can be tricky. Love often includes romantic attraction and a deep desire for a future together, while friendship emphasizes companionship and shared interests.
To determine if it’s love, consider your emotional intensity, physical attraction, and long-term commitment. Friendship alone may not encompass these aspects.
Let there be love
Feeling like your relationship has ended up becoming a close friendship may not be the best feeling. While a friendship is a significant relationship to share with someone, it may not sustain a romantic relationship.
Don’t be sad if you think, “My relationship is turning into a friendship”! Just read through this article and implement these strategies to rekindle passion, love, and intimacy!
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.
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