A lot of people who don’t have experience dating around find it difficult to think of first date conversation topics. They are always overthinking and trying to stay away from awkward topics and end up not talking at all. If the Myer-Briggs personality types are to be believed, it means more than half of the population are introverts and have this problem.
Expressing yourself during first dates is like a job interview. You put your best foot forward without lying. Regardless of who invited who, if they agreed to go on a date, it already means they are interested, so you are officially courting each other.
So don’t fret, here are some tips and dating conversation questions that can help you turn your first date into a second one.
Planning your first date conversation ideas and activities
There is no established rule where or what activities you should go to on a first date. However, it is the responsibility of the inviter to plan the activities. It doesn’t have to be a surprise, but the most important thing is to indulge in activities you both enjoy.
If you know a few things about your date, such as what kind of food they like, genres of movies they appreciate, and things they want to see. Then it would be easy to match it with your preferences and plan the night.
If you don’t know enough of the personal taste of your date to plan the night, then go neutral. Dinners should be at a resto-grill that offers healthy options just in case. Nothing too fancy, but not too cheap.
At this point, you should ask if they drink alcohol or not? How often do they drink, what they like, and how much they can take? It will be useful information later.
As for activities, try something novel. First dates need to be memorable in one way or another. If your date has an introvert personality, go somewhere quiet. If they have an extrovert personality, go somewhere where there’s lots of activity.
Example venues of quiet places
- Overlooking bluff
- Wine and cheese specialty shops
- Stargazing activity
- Afternoon picnic
- A specialty book shop
Introverts may not like expressing themselves, but given the right topic and atmosphere, they are an endless well of interesting information. To get close to an introvert, you have to go somewhere that would entice them to talk about things they like with no or little distractions.
On the other hand, extroverts like to show off. Here are the recommended places to take an extrovert.
- Amusement park or gaming center
- A sports bar
There’s no need to worry about topics when dating an extrovert. They will do all the talking.
Topics to discuss on a first date
The best dates are ones where you learned a lot about each other and liked it enough to guarantee a second meeting. It should be the objective, but it’s important that conversations are as natural as possible.
Here are topics that people can talk about during their first date.
1. Their best friend
Almost everyone in the world has a best friend. They also have a good impression of that person. However, don’t make it look like you are more interested in their best friend than you are of that person. It is only an icebreaker to learn more about what kind of activities your date likes doing with their friends.
2. The hobbies
What people enjoy doing outside of their job. Everyone has something they enjoy that’s not related to their career. It could be something they are now too busy to pursue, but there should still be something.
Hobbies are also important for planning a second date. Make sure to include it somewhere in the conversation. Setting up your next meeting together during the first meeting is the best way to keep both parties interested.
3. The future plans
All dates start with the intention of looking for a potential mate. Discussing each other’s future plans together will give you a good idea if you’ve found a soulmate or not.
Topics to avoid on your first date conversation
After our short list of topics to talk about during your first encounter, there are subjects that you should avoid. Once you go on more dates, it’s something both of you will eventually talk about, but try to avoid it during your first date conversation.
It’s not taboo for established couples or two people courting each other to discuss their past relationships. However, it’s also a subject where one or both of you could step on potential landmines that would send the date to an abrupt end, it is an absolutely topic for a first date conversation .
It’s hard to get a second date after a bad first date. So don’t risk it, at least not yet. Exes are a source of good and bad memories. Good memories will make you jealous and bad memories will sour the mood of your date. There’s really no good side discussing it on the first date conversation.
Like exes, it’s something a couple in a relationship will eventually need to talk about, but it’s not something that you can easily open up on a first date. There are several reasons for it.
- You don’t know how receptive your date is to sex
- It makes you look like a pervert
- The other party may think that’s the only thing you want from the relationship
- You may learn things you don’t want to hear
- You may end up discussing it a lot, but not doing it. It’s frustrating
Every dating couple has sex on minds, even on the first date. It’s like the Goddess of lust whispering to the both of you to skip getting to know each other and consummate the relationship. There is really no problem with getting laid on the first date, it’s the third generation since sexual liberation and two consenting adults can do what they want.
The freedom to have consensual premarital sex is no longer illegal or frowned upon, but that doesn’t mean there are no consequences. Unwanted pregnancy, STDs, and other usual consequences aside, premature sexual congress between two people can ruin a relationship.
It could lead to a purely physical union without any emotional bonds. It is not a problem if that’s what you’re looking for, but women will eventually develop those bonds, while men may not. It is like sabotaging something before it’s built.
Hopefully, the tips and topics for a first date conversation are enough to get anyone started on a successful first date, and turn it into a second, third, and many more.