One of the basic needs of human beings, apart from food and water, is love and affection. We all at some point look for a person who loves us, cares for us, has fun with us and grows with us. A passionate relationship is something we all desire. As a matter of fact, most marriages begin with couples casually dating.
Dating is like the foundation of all the essential elements of a marriage; trust, love, understanding, supporting one another, playfulness, decision making- it all begins when you first start dating the person.
People find it impulsive and risky to jump right into marriage before knowing the person well. And dating helps you do just that; know the person you could be spending your rest of the life with.
Dating may not be as stable and secure as marriages, considering there is no official commitment whatsoever.
Some tips for couples dating
1. Be cautious when planning for future
The main, ultimate aim of dating is to find out if the person is suitable for a long-term intimate relationship or marriage.
It’s totally normal and human-like to think about your future with the person you’re dating.
Thinking and planning for the future do no harm- as long as it’s mutual and is not forceful.
When you are making plans for your future with your partner in it, you need to know if they have similar plans or not. You should not be forcing your thoughts and opinions on them. Give them the freedom to tell what they would like to or to do in the future.
2. Do not think too much
You might miss out the happier and better details of the present if you fret too much about the future that is not even here yet.
3. Talk with your dating partner
The goal to understand your partner will be achieved if there is effective, two-way communication between you two.
Asking questions, listening closely and sharing your own experiences or thoughts will reveal things about your partner that you need to know.
Knowing merely about their educational background, profession, family background is not enough to decide whether you want a future with them or not. It’s the childhood memories, school and college memories, their friends and social circle, their tastes in food, their favorite past time hobbies, hidden skills and talents and their thoughts on real-life issues are what makes them, them.
4. Be yourself. And let them be who they are
You should not feel insecure showing them the real you. If you both want to last long, you need to accept each other for what you are.
5. Make small, meaningful traditions or rituals
This will keep the spark and excitement in your relationship. The little “our things” play a vital role in bringing couples closer together. They add meaning and value to the relationship.
6. Be observant about what your partner dislikes
Whether they don’t like how messy your room is, or they don’t like you keeping your feet up on the table, or how you procrastinate your house chores. These are things that you can easily not do.
You should know what habits you have that bother your partner and respect that.
Avoid behaving like that in front of them. This will not only develop mutual respect but will also make your partner realize and appreciate the efforts you’re putting in. There is nothing more flattering than the efforts you make for your relationship to work well.
Sometimes, couples dating can be unhealthy
When you are dating someone with the aim of having a future with that person, you often hold onto a relationship that is not healthy for you. A toxic relationship. This sort of dating can lead to intense damage to your mental health, trust, ability to love again. But how do you tell if the relationship is not worth it?
Sometimes, when you are initially dating someone, you tend to get involved with them so deeply that you start ignoring or compromising on your family time and social life. On initial stages, with all the giddiness and excitement, it might be normal.
But if your relationship with one person is affecting your relationship with many others, then that’s not what you want.
Your dating life is one part of who you are, and it should intervene with the other parts. Your family and social circle are equally as important and shouldn’t be left behind for one person.
Some partners like to have the controlling role in a relationship. That’s acceptable as long as it doesn’t become aggressive and intense.
If your partner controls every aspect of you and your relationship, not healthy.
Checking your phone or social media, coming with you to your social gatherings, asking too many questions and deciding things for you are all bad signs. Dating someone should not influence your own individuality and personal life. The relationship is just as much yours as it’s theirs, and all the decisions should be based on mutual consent.
An abusive relationship isn’t the only one where there is only physical abuse.
An abusive relationship can be anything from mental torture, constant doubting and lack of trust, a constant source of stress and a lack of attention/affection.
Dating is usually a kick-start for most marriages or long-term relationships. Which is why it is so important. You should make the most out of the dating life, since you’re carefree and have lesser responsibilities in this time. Just make sure not to hurt someone or get yourself hurt!
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.