There is a widespread belief that women enjoy submissive sex. And, although we will explore this subject in the following article, we should first note that both sexes, and all individuals, for that matter, have a neurological potential of liking both dominance and submission in sex.
That said, it is also the fact that women seem to still enjoy the submissive sexual role. So, let’s see why it is so, from a psychological standpoint.
Fantasies of men and women
Both men and women fantasize, that’s not a secret anymore. They both have attitudes about what they like and what not. Both genders have fantasies that they will fulfill at some point and some that will remain just that.
When it comes to the content of these sexual fantasies, what men and women get aroused by can be very similar, such as enjoying a vignette in which there are elements of sexual domination.
Although there are similarities that we wrote about among men and women, there are also very important differences. The most important ones revolve around how socially dominant individuals relate to force fantasies. Socially dominant men seem to also enjoy fantasies in which they dominate women.
However, women don’t differ in how they rate fantasies in which they dominate men based on their social standing. Both powerful women and shy housewives would rate a female domination fantasy similarly. But, when it comes to fantasies about them being dominated, women reveal a significant difference that is associated with their influence in the society.
Women and submissive roles in sex
Women of power or generally dominant women seem to enjoy fantasies of a tad forceful intercourse more than other women.
These fantasies may remain in their heads or play out in real life. They may include rather gentle dominance of their male partner but can go as far as fantasies of rape.
Women’s fantasy of being forcefully taken and seduced is interlaced with the fact that such mate would be probably genetically very well predisposed to give them healthy and strong children.
But, these evolutionary assumptions aren’t really that applicable to modern women anymore. They are especially unsuitable to women who are socially dominant and need no such thing as a big protector and a provider.
So, how would we then explain this experimentally confirmed fact, when previously given explanation doesn’t do much to help us understand this phenomenon?
Interestingly, experiments might reveal the mechanism behind this fantasy of dominant women. And the results reveal a logical, but unexpected explanation.
Powerful women and why they love being dominated
There are different explanations of why an, otherwise very confident and seemingly strong, the woman enjoys becoming dominated over in bed.
Some psychologists, especially those of dynamic schools of thought, might be prone to explaining this by introducing intricate subconscious tendencies towards self-destruction, things like penis-envy and so on.
Nonetheless, it seems that an explanation of what appears to be a paradox is much simpler than that. It’s not a paradox at all. Unlike how degrading such sexual intercourse might appear to some, to powerful women, there’s an entirely different perspective. Such encounters actually serve to confirm the dominant woman’s desirability.
In other words, a woman that enjoys a man dominating over her in sex actually interprets this behavior as the manifestation of how attracted he was to her.
He couldn’t resist her. She was that beautiful and sexy that he just couldn’t help himself, he had to have her, be it by force.
She’s successful in her career, socially dominant, and now she’s also sexually desirable, as a demonstration of feminine power.
Submissive sex and feminism
When it comes to the discussion about submissive sex for women, the feminist movement might and usually do protest. The idea of a woman being dominated over by a man opposes the core of feminist philosophy. Women should be independent and powerful in every aspect of their existence, including sex.
However, as we presented above, the lure of submissive sex for women might be actually in accordance with what feminism propagates; or, at least, not in opposition to it. Yes, the man forces himself to a woman. But, there is more to feminine power than sheer physical force.
In other words, what women enjoy about being submissive in sex is actually empowering from the other perspective.
A perspective of feminine desirability and thus female power. This is confirmed by the fact that fantasies about sexual submission excite socially powerful and dominant women the most, and that they interpret male domination as a proof of their irresistibility.