What Happens When an Empath Leaves a Narcissist: 17 Possibilities
There are many people who you may be compatible with when you are in the dating scene. However, there will be other people that may be a bad match for you.
One person who may leave an especially bad taste in your life is likely someone who has narcissistic personality disorder or similar traits. This can be an especially bad counterpart for an empath, who absorbs other people’s feelings and mood states.
If you’re an empath who has had a bad experience with a narcissist, you may wonder what to expect moving forward.
For instance, you may wonder what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist; who is more affected or why is it even important? This article will answer this question for you. Keep reading to find out more information.
How does an empath destroy a narcissist?
When an empath loves a narcissist, the narcissist will most likely end up hurting the empath greatly because of their exact opposite personalities. An empath loves all people and cares about their feelings and well-being while a narcissist is inclined to feed their own ego and satisfaction.
A narcissist only cares about themselves. They will appreciate that an empath cares about them, which is how narcissists prey on empaths. This is also why empaths attract narcissists; they want to take care of others, and so they intend to take care of a narcissist’s needs.
In an empath and narcissist relationship, the empath can neutralize the narcissist’s influence by establishing strong boundaries, enhancing self-awareness, actively seeking external support, and prioritizing personal development, effectively disrupting the cycle of manipulation and emotional dependence characteristic of such interactions.
Why are empaths addicted to narcissists?
Empaths tend to fall for narcissists because they are likely people pleasers. They want to help others and make sure they are okay. They may get emotional gratification by attending to the needs of a narcissist. This is precisely the type of attention that a narcissist may want and crave.
Dr. Jennifer Jacobsen, Ph.D., a crisis therapist and mental health educator, explains:
The narcissist is attracted to the empath because the empath will meet the narcissist’s every need. While this is fun for a while, the empath eventually ends up drained. They will never be able to truly satisfy the narcissist, so the empath will continuously try and fail to make the narcissist happy, losing themselves in the process.
It is part of the toxic relationship between an empath and a narcissist.
What happens if you walk away from a narcissist?
A study discusses the negative effects on mental health that a relationship with a narcissistic partner holds in the short and long term. Hence, detaching from a narcissistic relationship is important and time-bound.
If you walk away from a narcissist, they may try hard to get you to come back to them. This could include anything from making you feel bad about yourself to threatening you.
You may have heard about the 21 stages of a narcissistic relationship, but breaking up such a relationship is a different struggle altogether.
In other words, detaching from a narcissist could be dangerous at times and cause you to feel unsafe in certain circumstances. This answers the question of what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist, although the circumstances will be different from person to person.
How does an empath get over a narcissist?
An empath, even a damaged empath, should be able to move on after they leave a narcissist. It is important to realize the intensity of the impact arising from the bond shared by the empath and the narcissist.
As they begin to understand that the person they were in a relationship with was a narcissist and what that means, they may commence to feel like themselves again and start to think about their next relationship.
It is important to note that narcissism is simply a personality trait, but it could be indicative of a personality disorder in some cases. If an individual is experiencing symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder, it may be imperative that an empath and narcissist break up.
According to Dr. Jacobsen:
Having some narcissistic traits is one thing, but having a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) means a person is severely distorted in the way they view themselves, others, and the world. It is challenging for someone with untreated NPD to have healthy relationships, and their behavior toward their partner is likely to be damaging and even abusive.
17 things that can happen when an empath leaves a narcissist
So, what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist?
The answer is that an empath will begin to notice that they are not being loved and treated the way that they need to be by a narcissist and will move on from the relationship.
An empath needs to be loved and be with someone who is who they claim to be, which is not the case for a narcissist.
At the same time, when a narcissist loves their empath mate, this is how an empath destroys a narcissist. A narcissistic person needs to be admired over everyone else, so when someone doesn’t do this, they will not be pleased with the outcome.
1. An empath will understand they were being used
When an empath leaving a narcissist situation occurs, it is generally because the empath is unable to take any additional abuse from the narcissist. They may not feel like they are being treated properly and understand that they deserve to be with someone who cares.
There was research conducted to determine if empathic feelings fade over time, and it indicates that this is possible.
This could mean that an empath may become tired of dealing with the needs of a narcissist and must leave them to start a new chapter in their life.
2. The narcissist will try to guilt them
One of the first stages of leaving a narcissist will include you getting away from them. You may choose to end the relationship, move out, or cease contact with them. Once this occurs, they will likely begin trying to guilt you into feeling bad about yourself and how you treated them.
A narcissist will probably want you to think about how they are feeling since an empath is sensitive to the feelings of others. They will also use the empath’s feelings against them. This is one of the main reasons why an empath and a narcissist shouldn’t date each other.
3. An empath may think they are narcissistic
As someone leaves an empath narcissist relationship, the empath may start to wonder if they are narcissistic as well. This is likely because if they were in a relationship with an individual with narcissism, they may have started to dull how they were feeling and mimicked how their mate was acting.
When they reflect on the pairing, an empath could notice that they were acting in a narcissistic manner also, which could leave them wondering if this is really who they are.
You don’t have to think that you are a narcissist if you are simply acting like one to protect yourself from getting hurt.
Consider how you really feel and if you take other’s feelings and points of view into account. If you do either of these things, you are likely not a narcissist.
4. They will feel sorry for the narcissist
Another thing that answers the question of what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist is that the empath will probably feel sorry for the narcissist.
They might think they have treated them unfairly and worry about how they are doing. While this is okay, you should also consider how they treated you as well.
If a person doesn’t think about how they have affected you, it isn’t necessary for you to worry about them and how they are feeling. This is something that is no longer your concern after you walk away from the relationship.
5. The empath might have many doubts
Something else that may happen is that an empath will have doubts about leaving the relationship. Being in a relationship with an empath can allow you to see that they are generally looking on the bright side of things and have a hopeful attitude in many cases.
This is why they may feel doubtful and think that they may not have had it so bad in their relationship.
6. A narcissist will try to get you back
When you are thinking about what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist, the truth is that a narcissist will try to get the empath back. Some may ask does the narcissist miss the empath? But that may not be entirely true.
They will do whatever they can to convince them to reconsider their duo, even if it means lying or telling them exactly what they want to hear.
A narcissist needs to be praised and adored, so when this is not happening, they will feel ill at ease. This makes it necessary for them to try to win back their former partner’s affection.
7. Empaths may rethink leaving
An empath may think they want to get back together with the narcissist that they ended their relationship with.
They may believe that the narcissist will change and that things will get better. If you see this happening in your circle, you may want to provide empath protection from the narcissist so they reconsider getting back together with someone with whom they are not very compatible.
If you are an empath feeling like you want to get back together with the narcissist in your life, be sure to take all the time you need to decide. There’s no reason to go back to a narcissist after you leave them hastily. Consider all of your options first.
8. An empath may go back to the relationship
So, what else happens when an empath leaves a narcissist? The empath may go back to the narcissist. They might think they will be able to change the behavior of the narcissist, or they could still believe in them.
If you are an empath who is affected in this way, think about all that you have been through in your relationship. Don’t think this type of behavior is what you deserve out of a mate.
Remember that a healthy relationship involves mutual respect and trust, which may not be something you get when you are in a relationship with a narcissist.
9. The narcissist will threaten the empath
In some cases, a narcissist may threaten an empath to get them to come back to them.
This is something that you don’t have to put up with, and if you are afraid for your life, you should make sure that you are protected and in a safe place where a narcissist will not be able to harm you.
10. Empaths will worry about the narcissist
Once you are considering what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist, you should understand that an empath will worry about the narcissist, how they are doing, and what will happen to them since the empath is no longer in the picture.
This is the empath’s nature since they tend to worry about their fellow human beings. At the same time, understand that a narcissist will be okay, even if they say they won’t.
11. A narcissist may eventually move on
Eventually, a narcissist will start to move on from their relationship with an empath.
They will likely find someone else to spend their time with or boss around, and they will let their previous partner go. This can be a good thing for the empath since they won’t have to be concerned about this mate any longer.
12. An empath will be concerned about how they are perceived
An empath might be upset and feel like they are affecting others with their decision to leave a narcissist. They might think they will be upsetting the people that they care about and that it reflects poorly on them.
The truth is your loved ones will more than likely understand your point of view and support you in your decisions. You won’t have to feel like you let someone down because you ended a relationship that wasn’t good for you.
13. Empaths might have trouble adjusting to the changes
Even when an empath knows that they have made the best decision for their future, what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist could be that an empath has a tough time getting used to the changes that take place in their life afterward.
They may have to get used to not having to take care of a narcissist and all that this entails. It could take a while for them to overcome this.
14. An empath will move on
After a while, an empath will move on from their relationship with a narcissist. They may be able to find a mate that is better suited for them and treats them fairly and as an equal.
If you are an empath, this might be something you are looking for, and you shouldn’t settle until you find it.
15. The empath may have learned a lot
Another thing revolving around what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist is that the empath will probably have learned a lot throughout the process.
They may be able to notice when they aren’t being treated well and could spot when an individual is taking their energy and kindness from them. This could allow an empath to work harder to find a relationship that is more advantageous for them.
16. The empath may start a healing process
The healing process for an empath involves confronting and processing the emotional trauma experienced in the relationship. This journey often includes seeking therapy, practicing self-care, and re-establishing personal boundaries.
It’s a time for the empath to reconnect with their own needs and values, often leading to significant personal growth. Support from friends and family plays a crucial role in this recovery, helping the empath to rebuild their sense of self and move forward with greater resilience and self-awareness.
17. There may be levels of increased self-discovery for both parties
For the empath, leaving a narcissistic relationship often sparks a profound journey of self-discovery. They gain insights into their empathic nature, learn why they are drawn to certain personalities, and understand the importance of prioritizing their own emotional well-being.
This process fosters growth in self-esteem and decision-making. Conversely, for the narcissist, such a breakup might prompt a rare moment of self-reflection. They may recognize the destructive patterns in their behavior, though this is less common.
For both, the end of the relationship can be a catalyst for personal evolution, albeit in very different ways.
In this talk, motivational speaker Puck Kroonsberg takes you on a personal journey: remembering who you truly are. Watch the video:
FAQs
While considering the complex dynamics between empaths and narcissists, certain questions frequently arise.
Understanding these interactions can provide valuable insights for those involved in such relationships. Here are some common questions and their concise answers
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What happens when an empath discards a narcissist?
When an empath decides to leave a narcissist, it often leads to a significant shift in the relationship dynamics. The empath, usually accustomed to accommodating the narcissist’s needs, begins to prioritize their own emotional well-being.
This can result in a struggle, as the narcissist may increase manipulative behaviors to regain control or react with anger and blame.
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When does an empath destroy a narcissist?
An empath can “destroy” a narcissist, metaphorically speaking, by ceasing to provide the emotional support and validation the narcissist craves. This happens when the empath strengthens their self-esteem, sets firm boundaries, and stops reacting to the narcissist’s attempts at manipulation. Essentially, the empath undermines the narcissist’s power over them.
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What is the cycle of a narcissist breakup?
The cycle of a breakup with a narcissist typically involves several stages: idealization, where the narcissist showers their partner with attention and affection; devaluation, where the partner’s flaws become the narcissist’s focus; and discard, where the narcissist ends the relationship or becomes emotionally distant.
This cycle can repeat multiple times, with reconciliation and renewed idealization.
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When do you finally break free from a narcissist?
Breaking free from a narcissist usually occurs when the individual recognizes the toxic nature of the relationship and the negative impact on their well-being. This realization often comes after experiencing repeated cycles of emotional abuse and manipulation.
It involves a conscious decision to end the relationship, enforce strict boundaries, and possibly seek external support, such as therapy.
Choosing the best course
Anytime you are left wondering what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist, you can consider this list for information. There’s a chance that an empath will fall in love with a narcissist, and it could end badly for the empath.
This is because a narcissist will take advantage of how caring and authentic an empath is, which could leave the empath getting nothing in return out of the relationship.
If you are an empath, read this list to determine if you are in a relationship with a narcissist. Then think about what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist. You have options, and you should evaluate all of them to make a decision that works well for you.
If you’re struggling in the aftermath of a relationship with a narcissist, counseling can help you move forward and heal. It’s normal to be struggling, but you shouldn’t have to feel alone.
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