It is perfectly natural for us to develop attachments with others as people. However, when they start to get toxic, then it’s time to think about how to break emotional attachments.
It’s easy to say, “don’t get attached to anyone!” but real emotions are not that simple. Figuring out your emotional attachment meaning can help you work on these attachment issues and have a better relationship.
What is emotional attachment?
Before worrying about how to lose attachment to someone, let’s understand what emotional attachment is. Getting emotionally attached to someone you love or care about is perfectly normal, even healthy.
So, to the question: ‘is it bad to be attached to someone?’, the simple answer is no. However, things get complicated when there is an unhealthy attachment in relationships.
If you’re not sure how you feel about your partner and yet you find yourself getting jealous or possessive, it’s necessary to break emotional attachment in the relationship.
So emotional attachment is good, but don’t get too attached.
Alright, let’s get down to it. Here are 15 ways on how to break emotional attachment:
Self-reflect: What emotion are you feeling?
1. Categorize how you feel about your partner
Have you known him long enough to love him for his strengths and flaws? If you answered yes, then it’s possible you love him.
Do you not feel strongly about him, but you like being physically intimate with him? That could be lust. Do you feel attracted to him or his behavior but don’t know him very well? That could be just infatuation.
When you’re trying to avoid unhealthy attachment in relationships, you can set up a schedule. Spending too much or too little time can make you clingy and obsess over your partner.
To stop being attached to someone, setting up date nights and scheduling specific hang-out times can help you set up ‘you’ time and ‘relationship’ time.
5. Find a hobby or a side hustle that you like
As you’re working on how not to get emotionally attached, distracting yourself from your relationship is an important part. Working on a hobby like painting or solving puzzles can take your mind off of your relationship.
Since attachment has a lot to do with anxiety about relationships, this is an excellent way to destress.
Learning more about your specific attachment style can help you understand how to break emotional attachment with your partner.
This video explains attachment styles well-
6. Disable notifications if you’re getting distracted
A common sign of unhealthy attachment in relationships is the urge to text or call them constantly. So, to stop getting attached, a simple trick could be to turn off your notifications.
It will be challenging to ignore the phone initially, but this will ensure that you don’t get attached to anyone. Research shows that people with attachment issues especially cling to phones to feel secure, and it is a way of being attached to their partner.
When thinking about how to stop being attached to someone, it is imperative not to spend all of your time with them. Try to spend time with family and friends or attend book clubs and parties.
This way, you don’t depend on them to meet your social needs. This will make sure that you never get too attached to your partner.
10. Start putting yourself first
In a relationship, it is easy to lose yourself. Gaining back your sense of individual identity is how to break emotional attachment from your relationship. Practice journaling, mindfulness, or anything you can do by yourself.
Research shows that mindfulness is beneficial to break toxic attachment and reduce your anxiety and possessiveness about your partner.
Often people develop very toxic attachments because they feel like no one, but their partner can make them happy. This places a burden on the relationship.
If you feel this way, then the first step in how to lose attachment to someone is to find things that make you happy that’s not your relationship.
Maybe working out or gardening can make you feel happy. Research shows that activities like these can positively affect your mood by increasing your ‘happy hormones and can make you feel less attached to your relationship.
12. Work towards becoming more independent
Sometimes, when we feel incapable of looking after ourselves, we become very attached to our relationships. If you feel entirely dependent on your partner, it will be hard to break the emotional attachment.
By getting a part-time job, or a solid friend circle, you can feel more financially and socially independent, reducing attachment to your relationship.
But this can be pretty toxic if it takes over your life. So when thinking about how to break emotional attachment with someone, an important step is to break the obsessive physical attachment.
14. Hold off on making plans
It is widespread to start making plans for the exceptionally far-off future with your partner. However, by thinking so much about the future, you might be getting too attached to an idealized view of what your relationship would look like.
Sometimes, people overthink and think that they’re being too clingy when that’s not the case at all! Sit down with your partner and ask them point blank- “Am I being too emotionally attached? Am I being clingy?” and that’s as good a place to start a discussion as any.
It’s easy to say, “don’t get attached to anyone!” but following that is challenging, complex, and messy.
By drawing clear boundaries, understanding yourself, and communicating effectively, it’s easy to figure out how to break the emotional attachment. So work towards not getting too attached, and a healthy, happy relationship will surely follow.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.