How to Be Happy in a Loveless Marriage: 10 Ways
The first time I heard this question as a Psychiatrist, I wanted to answer bluntly, “You can’t.” But as time went by, I realized I was wrong.
It is possible to be happy in a loveless marriage. After all, a marriage can be about family and not just your partner. A person’s happiness is not tied to a single person; it never was and never is.
If there is one person in the world who is responsible for your happiness, it’s you.
So how to be happy in a loveless marriage? If it is possible. I already answered the question; as I said before, it is all up to you.
What is a loveless marriage?
As the name suggests, a loveless marriage is a marriage where one or both partners are not in love. For people who believe that love is the basis of a marriage, it can be a very new concept because they might think a loveless marriage is a moot point.
However, that may not be the case in a loveless marriage. You would be surprised to know the number of people in loveless marriages who are happy or at least okay with the situation.
Is it healthy to stay in a loveless marriage?
There is no right answer to that question. Whether or not it is healthy to stay in a loveless marriage depends on whether or not you want to do it at all, what the terms and situations in your marriage are, and how happy or content you are in the situation.
Any situation can be as healthy or unhealthy as you make it out to be. Therefore, the real question to ask here is whether or not you want to stay in the loveless marriage, and if yes, how can you be happy in this kind of marriage?
Still, wondering how to be happy in a loveless marriage?
A loveless marriage can also be healthy if, even in the absence of love, there is trust and healthy communication in the marriage.
5 signs you’re in a loveless marriage
Do you think you are in a loveless marriage but cannot place a finger on it yet? Here are five signs you are in a loveless marriage.
1. You are constantly criticizing your partner
One of the signs that you and your partner are not in love anymore is when you are constantly criticizing each other. You do not like how they talk, their demeanor, their behavior, and similar problems.
These problems are likely to be small, insignificant, and superficial.
2. You do not like your partner anymore
Liking someone is very different from loving them. While you may not love your partner anymore, if you do not like them as well, it could be a sign of a loveless marriage.
When you try to remember why you decided to marry this person in the first place, you think of nothing.
Related Reading: 13 Tips on What to Do if You Dislike Your Spouse
3. You do not count on each other
Another sign that you are in a loveless marriage is when your partner is not your go-to person anymore. You do not count on them; they do not rely on you in case of emergencies or a crisis.
In cases of emergency, you may find yourself trying to solve the problems on your own. Or you may ask for help
4. You avoid each other
You know your marriage is loveless when you do not look forward to spending time together. You both try to avoid each other and each other’s company as often as possible.
You feel it is better because you can avoid any stress or arguments with your partner. This is one of the loveless marriage signs.
5. You think of getting out
A very common sign of being in a loveless marriage is when you start charting an escape plan or the idea of getting out of the relationship crosses your mind.
This is a clear sign that you are out of love with your partner and would like to live beyond your marriage.
10 ways to be happy in a loveless marriage
Being happy in a loveless marriage may not be the easiest thing to do. If you want help or advice on how to be happy in a loveless marriage, here are some.
1. Change your approach
One way to be happy in a loveless marriage would be to change your approach towards marriage in general.
If you look at marriages as based on love, then changing your approach towards how you see them in the first place can be a good way to be happy in a loveless marriage.
2. Build a life for yourself
How do you continue to live in a loveless marriage?
Another way to be happy in a loveless marriage is to build a life for yourself. Your marriage may or may not be a big part of your life, but when there is no love, it is important to start prioritizing yourself and understanding how you want to live your life with a loveless marriage.
3. Change your environment
How to cope with a loveless marriage, you ask?
To be happy, changing your environment after you have realized or noticed the signs of a loveless marriage is a good idea.
Changing your surroundings can help you process the situation better and understand what your next steps or course of action should be.
4. Show gratitude
How to stay happy in a loveless marriage?
A very important way to be happy in almost any situation in life is to look at the positives and show gratitude for the good parts of your life.
Showing gratitude can help you see that whether or not your marriage has love, you are still loved by other people, like your friends and family, and you have much to be thankful for.
Related Reading: 10 Ways to Show Gratitude to Your Spouse
5. Focus on your friendships
How to stay in a loveless marriage?
Another way to be happy in a loveless marriage is to focus on the friendships in your life. When you do so, you can build on relationships apart from your marriage. You can also work on building a friendship with your spouse if you both decide to stay in the loveless marriage.
6. Find your hobbies
You can find or rediscover yourself after realizing you are in a loveless marriage. Finding your hobbies, interests, or just doing things you enjoy can be a great way to discover yourself and be happy in a loveless marriage.
7. Invest in yourself
How to find happiness in a loveless marriage?
Investing in your physical and mental health can be a great way to stay happy in a loveless marriage. This can be done by exercising, hitting the gym, or speaking to a professional about your mental health and how the loveless marriage has impacted it.
Staying in a loveless marriage can become easier if your desires and growth are taken care of. It combats any resentment or dissatisfaction that may develop due to ignoring oneself.
8. Couples therapy
Another way to deal with and be happy in a loveless marriage is to seek couples therapy or help from a professional navigating your way through a loveless marriage.
Since it might just be your first time doing this, you might find yourself lost and unable to find the right balance, and a professional can help with that.
Psychologist Şeker points out,
A loveless marriage can lead to long-term issues that may be challenging for couples to resolve on their own. Seeking family and couples therapy is crucial for partners to understand themselves better and address the absence of love in their relationship.
9. Acceptance
One of the first steps to being happy in any situation is accepting it, which also holds true for a loveless marriage. If you keep fighting your feelings or the fact that you or your partner are out of love, it may be too difficult to be happy. Acceptance is key.
10. Find healthy coping mechanisms
While it may be a challenging place to be in, you can be happy in a loveless marriage by finding healthy coping mechanisms.
These exclude excessive social media use, use of alcohol, substance, etc. healthy coping mechanisms could mean therapy, exercise, or building a healthy social life beyond your marriage.
Should you stay or leave a relationship? Watch this video to understand more about it.
Here are some frequently asked questions about being happy in a loveless marriage.
Is divorce better than a loveless marriage?
You might have asked yourself a few times, “Should I stay in a loveless marriage?” or “How to continue living in a loveless marriage?”
The answer to that question depends on the people in the marriage and what works for them. If the two people have decided to stay in the loveless marriage and have been able to work it out, a divorce may not be needed.
Some might be staying in a loveless marriage for financial reasons and for them weighing the financial impact of divorce.
However, if they are unhappy in the loveless marriage, and it seems unhealthy, separation or divorce may not be a bad idea to consider.
The takeaway
So if you find yourself asking, “How can I be happy in a loveless marriage?” The answer is yes because happiness is a frame of mind. You can be happy and content without love. But the best option is to fall in love; that’s always possible with the right chemistry.
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