Many people see cheating in a relationship, or in other words – infidelity, as the biggest issue a relationship can have. But that’s only because they’re afraid to dig deeper and to face reality.
Relationships and cheating is a heart-wrenching combination, indeed.
But, although, an affair can be indeed perceived as the reason for putting a relationship to an end, it’s actually a result of having multiple other problems that weren’t addressed or solved on time.
There’s no one standard answer to why do people cheat. The reasons why people cheat can be numerous, but it’s always closely related to the dynamic a couple has.
A blend of lust, distress and need for attention stands in the core of every unfaithful act.
In some types of relationships cheating, like opportunity cheating, when somebody had a private affair because they became a victim of the circumstances or obligatory infidelity when people cheat because they’re insecure and they’re addicted to other people’s approval, the deceitful act has nothing to do with the significant other.
It just happens. But, among the most common types of unfaithfulness is also the offset cheating.
How does offset cheating in a relationship occur?
Offset cheating in a relationship occurs when there’s a severe disbalance in the relationship.
Often people cheat not because of the cheating itself but rather because that’s an effective way to make a statement. Offset cheating is a clear sign that a relationship is not going well and that at least one of the partners feels unhappy, to say the least.
If you are dealing with such a situation in your relationship, try to conduct an honest conversation with your significant other.
Determine what exactly was the reason that made your partner or you to be with another person. If you’ve had an imbalanced relationship and you or your partner felt like you want to cheat only to prove something, then this might be the end.
In order to understand why people cheat in relationships, read on to recognize if your relationship is in one of the following scenarios. Then you have to be aware that it might be too late to repair what’s broken.
1. Game of influence
In the couples where one of the partners is too overpowering, it’s very likely that an affair occurs.
This situation is one of the significant causes of cheating. Since the weak party starts feeling like their opinion and feelings don’t matter, they counteract the strong undesired influence of cheating.
In their heads, this act will bring back their dignity and self-esteem. They want to show that they’re still there and they’re still worth it in somebody else’s eyes.
Maybe they don’t want to end this relationship, but they certainly hope that their little rebellion will be noticed and will have an impact on their bossy partner. In this case, the infidelity can be seen more like a cry for help.
If you notice such a disbalance in your relationship, try to think of ways to grow towards each other as equals. Otherwise, there always be a possibility that you end up in a dangerous game of influence.
2. Sweet revenge
What happens when one of the partners resorts to cheating in a relationship?
There are precisely two scenarios – either the relationship falls apart immediately, or the sin is forgiven, and the couple moves on. But you’ve got to be careful as this sounds too good to be true.
Often times one claims to have forgiven but they’ll never forget cheating in a relationship.
And if a cheating possibility comes on their way, they likely take advantage of it. Human nature is a funny thing – if we once feel hurt, we tend to seek an act of revenge.
The person who was initially hurt might have an affair only to reclaim their own sense of value.
This is not just one of the reasons why men cheat; instead, this is a typical example of offset cheating in a relationship.
So, after the transgression, it is even possible that the partners call it even. A different matter is whether this relationship will last any longer.
Also, if you are looking for signs on how to spot a cheater, watch this video:
3. When the partner becomes a child
Having a balance in the relationship is crucial for keeping it happy and healthy.
If one of the partners has to take care of everything in the household, make all the critical decisions, or provide the family budget, they might start feeling as they’re a parent instead of a significant other. This is one of the primary reasons why spouses cheat.
As they cannot find the desired balance within their relationship, they subconsciously start looking for it somewhere else. Most probably, as soon as they find somebody who appears to be their equal, they’ll be prone to cheating in a relationship.
4. When a partner wants to sabotage a relationship
Cheating in a relationship also occurs when a partner is not just happy in a relationship but also wants to sabotage it before breaking up.
This could be a sheer case of vengeance when a partner, for some reason, wishes to inflict pain in the other before leaving.
At the same time, it’s also possible that the person resorting to cheating in a relationship wants to end it but wanting the other person to initiate. In such cases, the cheating partner wants to get caught and expects the other partner to break up with them.
These are some of the key reasons that can result in cheating in a relationship. If cheating is part of your relationship, you might reconsider whether you want to be in an unfaithful relationship in the first place.
Is the affair a cry for help?
Maybe the time to deal with your long-postponed issues has already come. Otherwise, stop torturing one another and look for happiness somewhere else. However hard it seems, nobody but you has to take the final call.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.