There are instances in your life when you might feel that everything is falling apart, and you are falling out of love in marriage. Trust me! You are not the only one.
Most people can easily recognize the signs that they are falling in love, especially in a new relationship. But the signs that you are falling out of love in a marriage, or any other relationship that has been continuing for a while, are not always the easiest to spot or recognize.
Lack of sexual attraction and emotional connectedness are two of the most common factors contributing to the loss of love in marriage.
Falling out of love is also not as uncommon as most people think. Research says, nearly 50% of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce. The same study estimates that 41% of all first marriages end in marital separation.
Nearly an average of 66% of women has filed for divorce.
Falling out of love can also lead to disrupting the normal functioning of your mind and body. After all, our highest highs and lowest lows are linked to a love relationship. You might have experienced the frequent loss of interest in day-to-day activities. This is nothing but a falling-out-of-love-in-marriage syndrome.
This also means you are a step closer to becoming a victim of depression and anxiety.
Reasons for falling out of love with spouse
Marriages change over time. You cannot expect the honeymoon phase to last forever, Right??? And when you are in long-term relationships, falling out of love is quite an expected event.
If you go looking for reasons, you are highly likely to come across a bundle of them. Infidelity can be an excellent reason to trigger feelings like falling-out-of-love-in-marriage in the betrayed partner. Then again, infidelity and adultery can be the outcomes of passionless, loveless, and sexless marriages.
Let’s understand a few reasons before we begin identifying signs of falling out of love –
Catering to responsibilities that come with raising a family. You devout so much time to taking care of your kids that you hardly have enough time spared for your partner. And without realizing, you will find yourself falling out of love in marriage.
Raising children is a tough job. The little ones are more dependant on their mothers during their infancy. They hardly have time to spend on themselves, making love to their partner is the last thing that comes into their minds. Slowly, they find themselves falling out of love with husband, and this behavior tends to affect the husbands in return.
Quite a scary picture, you see!
2. Stopped caring for yourself
This is another reason why people start falling out of love in marriage. Gone are the days when you enjoyed dressing up and staying fit for your partner. But as the years went by and his position in your life became more permanent, you took minimal interest in staying healthy and beautiful.
Instead, those efforts seem not so important to you anymore.
And, long before you realize the damage done, you start noticing signs your husband is falling out of love with you.
3. You have no life
Start maintaining your life outside marriage. This is a major blunder women usually commit once they settle into a relationship. But this very attitude can prove to be the final nail in the coffin.
Discarding your passion, hobbies, friends, and your hunger for life, in short sacrificing everything that defined you will only push your husband away.
You are not falling out of love in marriage, but you are encouraging your husband to look for better options than yourself.
The reason behind men complaining about falling out of love depends largely on their wives portraying this kind of attitude in life.
So, women buckle up!
These visible symptoms of falling out of love don’t signify the end of marriage at all. Relationship expert, Suzanne Edelman says, “Most of these signs are fixable. You just have to be willing openly discuss each issue and show you care enough to change the behavior.”
But first, you have to identify the signs of falling out of love with someone.
Signs you are falling out of love
If you think that you may be falling out of love in marriage, consider the following signs that might indicate your feelings about your marriage relationship aren’t what they used to be.
You have fewer shared interests and activities than you did before
It’s not unusual for couples to have different interests or favorite activities such as one spouse who loves football and another who doesn’t. But for a couple in love, these different interests don’t present conflict.
In fact, couples may often share activities even though they aren’t necessarily enjoyable to them, such as taking a partner to the opera despite not enjoying it.
If you are falling out of love in marriage, however, you may notice that you are spending less time doing shared activities or talking about shared interests.
2. Don’t express affection towards partner
You don’t express affection towards your partner as often
It is very common for married couples to be very affectionate and openly loving when they are newlyweds, only for the affection to level out over time—this isn’t necessarily a bad thing and is usually just considered another stage in the development of a long-term relationship.
However, if you find that you aren’t expressing affection, enjoyment or gratitude to your partner very often—or significantly less often than you used to—then it may be a sign that you are falling out of love.
This is especially true if you find yourself increasingly annoyed or irritated with your partner.
3. No attempt to resolve conflicts
Couples who are actively in love will almost always attempt to resolve conflicts in their relationships because they are invested in the relationship and naturally want the relationship to work.
If you are falling out of love in marriage, however, you may find that you don’t make the attempt to solve issues—in fact, you may begin to feel as if it’s better to just ignore the situation entirely, and that resolving the conflict isn’t important in the long run.
Unfortunately, this has the side effect of making the relationship even more strained and troubled, which can result in a continuing loss of love towards your partner.
What to do if you are falling out of love in marriage
If you think that your feelings for your partner have diminished, you will have to make a very personal choice: you can either work on attempting to rejuvenate your feelings or let the relationship go.
Either option will require a lot of thinking or careful consideration, as both are serious steps which will impact your relationship and your life as a whole.
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Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
More by Mary Fisher