If you have been cheated on then you know firsthand just how difficult it can be to survive infidelity. Though the easy answer is to walk away, you have to really evaluate if the marriage can survive infidelity–or if divorce is inevitable. This is a very individual decision, but trying to weather the storm of infidelity is a heartbreaking situation.
Forgiving your spouse may not necessarily be possible; but before you go straight to divorce consider the following questions and situations first.
1. Understand what the cause of infidelity was
It may not be as easy as the opportunity presenting itself but rather a loss of intimacy in the marriage. It may be that the two of you weren’t seeing eye to eye, or perhaps even growing apart. Before you can decide if you are going to forgive the infidelity, first ask yourself what lead to this. Understand what the actual causes may be for some insight into the situation.
2. Be honest about any marital problems leading up to this
In all honesty, could you see this coming? Were you both responsible for the marriage falling apart or was this a total shock to you? In order to survive infidelity, you have to first get your marriage back on track, and you must learn from past mistakes. If there was a breakdown, then you need to get things back on track if you are to forgive and move on.
3. Consider if your life is better with this person in it
While trying to answer if infidelity can be forgiven, ask yourself if you can envision your life without this person. Dealing with infidelity in a marriage isn’t easy, but it breaks down to what your life would be like without this person before you. If you can honestly say that you would be better off and you fear that you will be hurt again, then that may give you your answer.
4. Evaluate what it would take to forgive and move on together
The fact is that forgiveness in marriage is never easy, and even more so when it comes to infidelity. Trust that some time and reflection will help you to answer what is right for you and the marriage. Give yourself time to think through what happened and then decide if it is possible to forgive truly.
It’s never easy to survive infidelity, but the only way to determine if you can is to let yourself think it through. Understand if you are capable of forgiveness and be sure that you consider the marital problems or intimacy issues that lead to this. You can get your marriage back on track the right way if you consider everything.
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