It’s not easy to go through a divorce or legal separation– it’s an overwhelming and complicated ordeal for both spouses.
For people seeking a divorce, finding emotional support or even processing their emotions and practicing self-care can often be more difficult.
This is why we have prepared this useful guide on how to prepare for a divorce for a man – so that you can move through the process as smoothly as possible.
Is life better after divorce for a man?
There is no one or simple answer to that question. While someone may feel much more at peace after a divorce, it could be a devastating blow for others. After a divorce, men may also go through a tough time – something they and even the society refuse to accept.
While things may be tough for a while after a divorce, if you have decided to separate from your partner, chances are you have thought it through. If you wish to make it slightly easier for you, here are some points of advice that can help you.
What is the average age of divorce for a man?
According to data, the younger you get married, the more likely you are to get divorced. The average age of divorcing couples in America is about 30 years old, where the women are likely to be younger than men.
As per reports, the average age of people getting married is 27.5 and 29.5 for women and men, respectively.
15 steps on how should men prepare for a divorce
How to prepare for a divorce for a man?
If you are a man going through a divorce, here are 15 tips or steps that are likely to make the process easier for you. Read on to know 15 tips on how to prepare for divorce for a man.
How to prepare for a divorce for a man? How should a man prepare for divorce?
Knowing the steps you need to take during the divorce process, all of the things you need to consider, and the decisions you need to make can make the divorce process easier and hopefully less stress-free.
To plan, you’ll need to consider all of the following points:
Do your research and educate yourself on how the divorce process works
Learn about the benefits of divorce mediation, as it will make things much easier
Organize your finances
Choose an experienced professional to help you navigate through the proceedings
Switch on your business head when it comes to divorce negotiations with your spouse and turns off the emotions as much as possible
Seek a divorce counselor or relationship counselor to help you handle your divorce and assist you in accomplishing the previous point
Maintain a good relationship with your spouse, at least for the sake of the kids
Ensure that you address your own needs and practice self-care
Focus on the possibility of being happy again in the future.
Preparing for divorce as a man?
This might be a difficult challenge, especially if your spouse does not choose peace but chooses to remain calm, balanced, and objective wherever possible.
By attending divorce counseling to guide you through the process, you will find that you will lower the stress and anxiety and regulate your emotions to manage the difficult relations you may experience with your spouse.
If you do this, you won’t regret how you held yourself during the divorce process, and there will be nothing that your spouse can use against you in the future.
Plus, if you have children, your peaceful actions now will be likely to repay you as you build anew relationship with your ex-spouse as the mother of your children and somebody who will still feature in your life in the future.
If you work through your divorce to keep it as peaceful as possible, your actions will repay you tenfold.
To understand the most common reasons for divorces, watch this video:
Take care of yourself
Many men who divorce often find themselves couch surfing, living in uncomfortable conditions, not exercising, or feeding themselves properly. This can cause the onslaught ofdepression and low self-esteem and can turn into a habit that you’ll probably wish you didn’t create for yourself in the future.
It’s also not going to help you meet somebody new (even if that’s something that you can’t even consider right now).
Make it a priority to find a safe, secure, and suitable base for yourself so that you have your basic needs at hand.
Thenset up a routine to take care of your food, sleep, and hygiene needs– even if sometimes you have to force yourself to go through the motions, you’ll be glad you did as your life evolves into a new happier place.
Start getting organized
What to do when getting a divorce?
You’ll need to make hundreds of significant decisions during the divorce process that will affect you and your children for many years to come. The more organized you are, the better the quality of your lifestyle and negotiations (and resulting settlement agreement) will be.
This is where you’ll benefit from working with somebody who is experienced with the divorce process so that they can lead you through all of the steps to help you financially prepare for all aspects of divorce, including negotiations.
Here are some things to consider during this stage:
Alone or together with your spouse, start making a list of assets and debts.
Gather copies of all financial records
Create a marital budget to understand your current monthly expenses when living together and your estimated monthly expenses post-divorce.
Work through the divorce WITH your spouse
How to prepare for a divorce for a man?
Take time to talk with your spouse and discuss how you can help each other divorce peacefully and, where possible, amicably.
If you can, consider how you’ll deal with each other when you move on and meet new partners, how to interact when dealing with the children, and address any other issues you are concerned about.
Consider attending premarital or post-marital divorce counseling together so that you can work through any problems while you are divorcing, which means that when you’ve made it to the other side, you’ll have less emotional baggage and may even have a decent relationship with your ex-spouse as a bonus!
Get organized financially
In a marriage, the money is mostly shared. There are joint accounts, investments, and other flows of income shared between the spouses. When you are filing for divorce or have already gone through it, it is important to put back your finances in order.
If you and your spouse shared passwords for bank apps, social media accounts, phones, or even the house lock, make sure to change them. It is simply better to protect your privacy from them or even other people close to you and would be interested in misusing any information against you. This is one of the important divorce strategies for men.
Prepare for custody
Preparing for custody is important for a man going through divorce.
If you have children with the partner you are divorcing, prepare for custody and even a custody battle if you both have not agree on who wants to keep the children with them. Custody battles can often be elaborate and emotionally draining, and therefore it is better to know what to expect.
This is an important advice for men coping with divorce.
The divorce process can make you feel unorganized, and it is only fair, it is draining emotionally, financially, and physically. It is best to be prepared and keep a few contacts handy. Some people to have on your speed dial include –
Your child’s teachers
A divorce can often make you feel like it is the end of the world. Prioritize self-care when you are going through this tough time. Eat well, exercise, keep yourself engaged in activities that make you feel good. Self-care will help you get through a divorce as a man.
Ask for help
The divorce process can be tough on you emotionally. Do not be afraid or apprehensive about asking for help from your friends and family. Spend more time with them, do not alienate yourself, and express your feelings to whoever you feel the most comfortable with.
Getting professional help to deal with the anxiety and depression that comes with the separation is also a good idea.
Finding out that other people have also been through similar situations and knowing how they handled it can help you gain more perspective. Divorce support for men groups can help you get back on your feet when dealing with one.
Avoid taking the issue to the court
An out-of-court settlement is the best way to negotiate a divorce. A divorce that goes to court is expensive and can also be very emotionally challenging. Finding a middle ground and settling outside the court is recommended. Talk to your spouse about it.
Move to a place your kids can visit
Even if the kids are not going to stay with you, when you move your residence, it is recommended to find a place where your kids can visit you and have something fun to do. Finding an apartment where they can have a room of their own and which is closer to the previous home is a better idea if you want to keep in regular contact with them.
Respect your ex
Even as you break up and file for a divorce, it is essential to keep respect in your relationship. Respecting your ex will help you come to terms with the divorce in a much easier way and help you come to a better negotiation with each other.
What not to do while preparing for divorce
If you are planning to go through a divorce, here are some things you should not do as a man.
Do not leave home until the divorce is final
Do not hide information about the finances
Do not expect the lawyer to do everything
Try not to start dating before the divorce is final.
A divorce can be a life-changing decision, but the changes can also be for the better. If things between the two of you are just not working out, it is better to respectfully part ways than to wait for things to get worse. Keep in mind these tips on how to get through the divorce in a much easier way.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.