27 Mature Ways How to Handle a Male Chauvinist Husband

Male chauvinism isn’t about strength, it’s about insecurity disguised as control.

Living with a male chauvinist husband is very much like an endless cycle of frustration and emotional exhaustion. 

The subtle (or not-so-subtle) remarks, the constant undermining, and the insistence that a woman’s place is confined to outdated stereotypes—all of it can make you question your worth and power. 

Male chauvinism is often rooted in deep-seated beliefs about gender roles, perpetuated by society for generations.

But what are the causes of male chauvinism, and how do you deal when the person exhibiting these beliefs is your partner? Is there a way to break through this rigid mindset and build mutual respect in the relationship?

Yes, it’s possible, but it requires a thoughtful approach. 

This article explores some effective ways on how to handle a male chauvinist husband, allowing you to regain your confidence and work towards healthier dynamics.

What does a male chauvinistic husband mean?

Let’s understand the male chauvinist meaning first.

A male chauvinist husband is one who believes that men are in some way superior to women. The person has nothing to substantiate this feeling, no reliable evidence or proof.

But the spouse will do and say things indicating where he feels the mate’s place is within the household and outside the home.

Behaviors that are okay for the husband are not so for their significant other. For instance, if he chooses to flirt at a party, that should be tolerated without jealousy, but the same is not true for his spouse. 

To understand the chauvinistic meaning better and why some men behave this way, try reading this book titled Male Chauvinism! How it Works by Michael Korda.

What is the difference between male chauvinism and patriarchy?

Let’s talk about male chauvinism vs. patriarchy as both can be confused at times in terms of common beliefs and behaviors.

Male chauvinism refers to an individual’s belief in the superiority of men over women. It involves attitudes and behaviors that promote male dominance and the devaluation of women. 

For example, a male chauvinistic person might believe that men are inherently more capable in leadership roles and should make decisions without input from women.

Patriarchy is a broader societal system where men hold most of the power and authority in various aspects of life, such as politics, economics, and social structures. It’s not just about individual beliefs but deeply ingrained social norms. 

For example, in a patriarchal society, laws and traditions might limit women’s access to education and employment opportunities, reinforcing men’s dominance.

Overall, male chauvinism is about individual attitudes of male superiority, while patriarchy is a systemic structure where men, as a group, hold more power and influence in society.

4 main characteristics of a male chauvinist husband

Some husbands carry stereotypical chauvinistic mindsets based on how they were raised and cultural influence. For them, there is always a need to hold the superior position with a fight to take the upper hand with all that he does. 

Dealing with a male chauvinistic husband can be challenging and hurtful. Here are 4 main characteristics to help you recognize this behavior, allowing you to address the situation with empathy and understanding.

How do you know if a man is a chauvinist: 7 examples to notice

Certain men present their best selves when in the beginning stages of dating with little likelihood of showing characteristics of male chauvinistic behavior. Instead, they do so in subtle ways that are easy for partners to miss at first when caught up in the romance and excitement.

In some cases, a man might not even believe he’s being chauvinistic but, instead, feel he’s caring and protective, except they’re not comfortable when a partner earns more than them. 

Some red flags that a man might be leaning towards male chauvinist traits:

1. He orders for you without checking what you’d like
2. He wants to know about your parenting aspirations but not your career goals.
3. The first date is full of pet names like babe, honey, and sweetie.
4. Referring to ex’s starts a name–calling tirade.
5. He has a “philosophy” regarding women and decisions.
6. He frequently dismisses your opinions and decisions, showing a lack of respect for your thoughts and ideas.
7. He tries to dictate who you can hang out with or see, displaying an excessive need to control your social interactions.

11 glaring signs you have a chauvinistic husband

When you consider what is male chauvinism, men don’t always display the behavior upfront and center, especially if they’re newly married. Once things have become familiar and comfortable, there’s a feeling the guards can be let down and shared more openly rather than the subtle hints he’s been displaying. 

How can you spot a male chauvinistic attitude before getting too far in the relationship? Here’s some research to offer details on the subject. 

Let’s look at some signs of a male chauvinist to be mindful of.

1. You’re constantly interrupted in conversations. This is among the classic male chauvinist examples. You listen patiently to his conversation, but when it’s your turn, he always finds a reason to interrupt as though your experiences and thoughts are irrelevant.
2. He’s continually validating himself as a nice guy. If he is complaining that he’s a nice guy and that many mates are not appreciative when they have a good thing that treats them well, that can be toxic. Continuing to announce it doesn’t mean you’re nice.
3. Periods are fodder for his humor. Using PMS as a reason women must be in bad humor is not funny and makes the guy look like he doesn’t respect women.
4. Earning more than him bothers him. While he supports your career, he places a great deal of importance on gender roles, so when he finds out you’re earning more, it doesn’t make him happy.
5. “Benevolent sexists!” This male chauvinist example is a man who will rush to help, but their help comes across as more degrading to their partner than a genuine willingness to care for a problem.

As Dr. Jennifer Jacobsen, PhD in Psychology, explains:

A man with chauvinistic traits will jump in to help, and he will treat you as if you are incapable of functioning without his assistance.

6. Mansplaining! A very common one among the signs of a chauvinistic man! Explaining things to a partner in a “mansplaining” context is simply another way of showing power and further degrading a mate, acting as though they can’t comprehend logistics.
7. Compliments are reserved for looks. Instead of complimenting abilities with hobbies, interests, skills, or even careers, the chauvinist will concentrate on the way you look.
8. He doesn’t like your male friends. He could be jealous, but it’s most often sexist in that he’s afraid that you’ll chat with one of your friends or that one of them will steal you away from him.
9. He has a set of ideas concerning what denotes a real woman. If you want children, he will find that you’re the epitome of a real woman. If you have friends who choose not to get married, they don’t fall under the category. 
10. If you want to discuss females’ role in society today, he has no interest. There’s no desire on his part to discuss feminism or issues being faced by women in society today.
11. He seeks financial control. He insists on controlling the finances, making it difficult for you to have any financial independence.

Dr. Jacobsen warns:

In some cases, this can be part of the cycle of an abusive relationship.” She adds that if you have no financial independence, it makes it difficult for you to leave an abusive relationship.

27 practical ways to handle a male chauvinistic husband

When trying to discern how to deal with a male chauvinist husband, challenging a chauvinist’s beliefs and behavior can sometimes make the person anxious. 

But discuss improvements they could make to help you figure out how to deal with a male chauvinist. The attached podcast talks about the roots of societal drawbacks like sexism, patriarchy, and chauvinism. Give it a try!

1. Discuss your feelings openly and vulnerably

• The first step in how to handle a male chauvinist husband is to have honest and open communication. Instead of brushing off a “how was your day?” question with a simple “fine,” share your true feelings and experiences. 

This allows your partner to understand what you’re going through and how his actions may affect you.

• Holding a meaningful conversation, where both of you genuinely listen and respond, can help break down barriers in understanding and promote a more empathetic connection. This open dialogue is crucial in figuring out how to handle a male chauvinist husband effectively.

2. Avoid interruptions

• Male chauvinists often interrupt their partner mid-story, which can feel degrading and show a lack of respect. If this is an issue, it’s essential to express to your husband how these interruptions make you feel and why it is hurtful.
• Let him know that cutting you off in conversations diminishes the value of your thoughts and experiences. Working on this issue together is a key part of learning how to handle a male chauvinist husband and fostering mutual respect in your relationship.

3. Let him know he doesn’t need to solve all your problems

• When you’re sharing issues—whether it’s stress at work, family troubles, or anything else—you might simply want an empathetic ear rather than a solution. Often, a male chauvinist husband might feel he needs to step in and “fix” things.
• It’s helpful to let him know that his support means more when he listens rather than trying to solve everything. 

There are times when a defense or a solution is necessary, but, generally, your emotional comfort takes priority, which is an important distinction in learning how to handle a male chauvinist husband.

4. Ask him to help when you genuinely could use it

• Many people struggle with how to handle a male chauvinist husband who often “rescues” them from tasks he deems too challenging. While his intentions might seem helpful, they can sometimes come across as belittling, making you feel incapable.
• Instead, communicate clearly about tasks where his help would be genuinely appreciated—such as chores you dislike or find physically difficult. This way, you can work as a team, promoting a balance where both of you feel respected and supported.

5. Ask him to be kind to your friends

• It’s important for your husband to understand and respect the value of your friendships, whether they are with men or women. If you trust your friends, he should as well, and he should aim to fit in with them because they are part of your life.
• Openly addressing any tension or lack of effort on his part can help create a healthier dynamic. This mutual respect and kindness are crucial aspects of learning how to handle a male chauvinist husband and maintaining a balanced relationship.

6. If something exciting happens in his life, he should share that

• A male chauvinist husband might tend to withhold significant moments due to a feeling of superiority or the belief that his achievements are solely his to celebrate. This creates an emotional divide in your relationship.
• Encourage him to share both his victories and struggles with you. This inclusion not only strengthens your bond but also ensures that you are both equally involved in each other’s lives, which is fundamental when figuring out how to handle a male chauvinist husband.

7. Compliments outside of superficial

• It’s easy for a male chauvinist husband to only offer compliments about appearances, but to foster genuine connection, it’s crucial he acknowledges your accomplishments. Express the importance of being valued for your abilities, whether related to your career, hobbies, or personal achievements.
• Let him know that true compliments extend beyond physical looks; they involve recognizing your hard work and successes. Emphasizing this will help in addressing how to handle a male chauvinist husband and in ensuring that he values every part of who you are.

8. Encourage your husband to write his grievances before having a conflict

• Finding ways to manage conflicts with a male chauvinist husband can be challenging, especially when emotions are running high. One effective approach is to encourage him to write down his grievances before initiating a discussion.
• This practice can help him articulate what’s truly bothering him and allow him to express himself more calmly. 

Writing things down can also provide both of you with a chance to consider each other’s feelings more thoughtfully, which is a useful technique when figuring out how to handle a male chauvinist husband during tough conversations.

9. Decisions should be mutual

• If your spouse specifically asks you to order for them at dinner, that’s one thing. However, if you take it upon yourself without their input, it can be a clear sign of male chauvinism. Mutual decision-making is key in figuring out how to handle a male chauvinist husband, especially in everyday situations like ordering food or making plans.
• Make sure household decisions are also made together unless you have explicitly agreed otherwise. This balance ensures both partners feel respected and valued, which is essential when learning how to handle a male chauvinist husband effectively.

10. Limit the kind of energy he brings home

• A crucial method for how to handle a male chauvinist husband is to set boundaries about the kind of energy brought home. If your husband is in a bad mood, it’s better for him to take some time alone rather than projecting that negativity onto others.
• Encourage him to find a moment of quiet reprieve until the stress passes, as no one should be exposed to unnecessary irritability. Establishing this habit will make the home a more peaceful place for both of you, even when emotions run high.

11. Let him acknowledge an attribute or accomplishment about you in public

• It can be challenging for a male chauvinist husband to openly support or praise his partner, but this is an important step in overcoming chauvinistic tendencies. Encourage him to be one of your biggest supporters, at least for an evening, to show that he values you.
• Even if it feels uncomfortable for him to hear people praising you, it’s a necessary part of growth. Learning how to handle a male chauvinist husband involves fostering public acknowledgment of each other’s achievements and building mutual respect.

12. No imbalances in household labor

• The mental work of managing a household often falls on one person, which can lead to overwhelming stress and burnout. If your male chauvinist husband is not contributing his fair share, it’s important to discuss this imbalance openly.
• A fair division of household responsibilities ensures that neither partner feels undervalued. When both of you can rely on each other for support, it helps in figuring out how to handle a male chauvinist husband and creates a more equal partnership.

Relationship expert Dr. Karyn Gordon shares advice on how to divide household chores. Watch the video:

13. Family squabbles

• During disputes with family or friends, a male chauvinist husband may be inclined to criticize you rather than offering support. It’s vital to communicate how important it is for you to feel that he’s on your side in these situations.
• Let him know that being on the same page strengthens your bond and helps you feel more secure. When figuring out how to handle a male chauvinist husband, showing unity during external conflicts is crucial for building trust and mutual understanding.

14. The benefit of the doubt

• A male chauvinist husband might be skeptical of what you tell him, but it’s important to express the need for him to give you the benefit of the doubt. Trust is a fundamental part of any relationship, and you both need to work on building it.
• While this may be challenging for someone with ingrained behaviors, reminding him of the importance of trust is a key part of learning how to handle a male chauvinist husband. This helps lay the groundwork for a healthier, more supportive partnership.

15. Deep breaths and walking away

• Frustration is inevitable when dealing with a male chauvinist, but learning how to manage these moments is crucial. When arguments start to escalate, taking a few deep breaths and walking away can prevent things from spiraling out of control.
• Whether it means stepping into another room or going for a walk, giving yourself space can help clear your mind and defuse tension. Understanding how to handle a male chauvinist husband includes knowing when to create distance to prevent conflicts from getting out of hand.

16. Try to let go of unreasonable expectations

• It’s easy to believe you can completely change someone, but that’s often unrealistic. Instead, focus on making personal improvements and communicating openly to find reasonable ways to improve the relationship.
• Both partners need to be committed to working toward a healthier outcome, and this applies to learning how to handle a male chauvinist husband as well. Remember that loving someone means accepting them, even on days when you may not like them very much.

17. Say no to sexist behavior

• If you experience sexism at work, don’t let your male chauvinist husband defend the person responsible or dismiss your feelings. It’s important for him to stand by you and take your concerns seriously.
• Encourage him to help you work through the problem, whether that means listening to you vent or taking concrete steps to resolve the issue. One of the key methods for how to handle a male chauvinist husband is ensuring that he is your partner and advocate, not someone who excuses or downplays harmful behavior.

18. Work toward developing a united front

• It can be tough to stay positive, especially if you’re figuring out how to handle a male chauvinist husband who often sees the negative in every situation. This kind of negativity can be contagious, making it easy to fall into the same mindset.
• Instead, focus on working with your partner to develop a united front. Approach challenges together and aim to find solutions that satisfy both of you. This sense of teamwork can help change the dynamic and make dealing with negativity easier.

19. Teach him to use “I” terms with confrontation

• Male chauvinists tend to use “you” statements during confrontations, which often feel accusatory and escalate tension. One way to handle a male chauvinist husband is to encourage him to shift to “I” statements.
• By expressing how he feels from his perspective—such as saying, “I feel frustrated when…”—the conversation becomes less about blaming and more about understanding. This change in communication can help both of you feel heard and respected.

20. No flirting for anyone

• Male chauvinists often live by double standards, with one set of rules for themselves and another for their partner. It’s important to address this behavior and establish that the same rules apply to both partners, especially when it comes to flirting.
• Make it clear that neither of you should be engaging in flirtatious behavior, regardless of the circumstances. Setting these boundaries equally is an important aspect of learning how to handle a male chauvinist husband and ensuring mutual respect in your marriage.

21. No more undermining your concerns or thoughts

• Male chauvinists tend to dismiss their partner’s perspectives, especially when trying to solve a problem quickly. However, even if he disagrees or finds your viewpoint unrealistic, that judgment should remain unspoken.
• Everyone has their own opinions, and even if they don’t align with the solution at hand, it’s crucial to respect the effort behind those thoughts. This approach is key in understanding how to handle a male chauvinist husband while fostering a respectful environment.

22. If you need time alone, ensure that he recognizes this

• Personal space is a necessity, even in marriage. Make it clear to your male chauvinist husband that needing time alone is normal and important for maintaining a healthy relationship.
• This independent time helps each of you recharge and refocus, especially when figuring out new ways to handle a male chauvinist husband. By respecting each other’s need for space, you both can grow individually and as a couple.

23. Ignore the behavior sometimes

• There are moments when the best way to handle a male chauvinist husband is to simply ignore the behavior. If addressing it would only escalate into conflict, letting it go may be the wiser option.
• Ignoring certain chauvinistic behaviors can prevent them from progressing into arguments and helps you maintain peace. However, this approach should be balanced with setting boundaries when necessary to protect your self-respect.

24. Discuss when boundaries are crossed

• When your male chauvinist husband crosses established boundaries, it’s time for a discussion. Boundaries are in place to protect both partners, and when they’re disregarded, it shows a lack of respect.
• Addressing this issue directly is a key step in learning how to handle a male chauvinist husband. Make sure he understands that breaking boundaries is unacceptable and that it could lead to further consequences if not addressed.

25. Counseling

• Seeking professional help is another effective way to handle a male chauvinist husband. A couples counselor can provide guidance and help him recognize problematic behaviors that need to change.
• A trained professional can also offer both of you tools for better communication and a deeper understanding of each other’s perspectives. Counseling can be a game-changer when addressing male chauvinism in your relationship.

26. Encourage self-reflection

• Encouraging self-reflection is an essential step in learning how to handle a male chauvinist husband. Help him examine his beliefs, attitudes, and actions, especially regarding gender roles and equality.
• Instead of reacting with anger when chauvinistic behavior occurs, approach him with curiosity and a willingness to understand. Say something like, “I want us to understand each other better. Can we discuss why we feel the way we do?” This approach promotes growth and understanding for both partners.

27. Educate

• Education is a powerful tool for challenging and changing chauvinistic beliefs. Start by sharing resources like books, articles, or documentaries that explore gender equality and challenge stereotypes.
• For example, recommend books that offer fresh perspectives on how men and women can thrive as equals in both relationships and society. Providing information is a proactive way to help your husband grow and learn how to handle a male chauvinist mindset.

Going beyond chauvinism

Coming out of the chauvinistic streak isn’t easy—it takes patience, courage, and a whole lot of love. But remember, change starts with small, consistent steps and a willingness from both sides to do better. If you’re dealing with a male chauvinist husband, don’t lose hope.

The journey might be bumpy, but every moment of progress is a victory. Keep those conversations going, set your boundaries, and be ready to seek support when needed. Together, you can reshape the dynamic into something healthier, stronger, and more fulfilling. 

It’s time to transform your relationship and create a partnership where equality thrives, and respect is the foundation. Take the leap and start today!