35 Bad Marriage Advice You Should Definitely Ignore

Marriage comes with no universal manual, yet advice pours in from every corner—parents, friends, strangers on the internet… even rom-coms. Some of it makes sense, sure.

But some?

It can quietly chip away at the trust, respect, and joy between two people. You might hear things like “Never go to bed angry” or “If they love you, they’ll just know,” and at first, they sound wise, even sweet.

But are they?

The truth is, every relationship is different. What works beautifully for one couple might completely backfire for another. And sometimes, what’s passed off as wisdom is really just fear, control, or outdated thinking in disguise.

That’s the tricky thing about bad marriage advice—it often shows up dressed like help.

What is considered “bad” marriage advice?

Not all marriage advice is helpful—some of it can quietly hurt more than it helps. Just because something is popular or passed down through generations doesn’t make it right for your relationship.

Bad advice often disguises itself as good intentions, sweet quotes, or old traditions. However, it can still lead to disconnection, resentment, or confusion.

What makes something terrible marriage advice?

It’s advice that ignores your needs, oversimplifies complex situations, or pressures you into silence, sacrifice, or pretend. And when you follow it without questioning, it can do real damage.

35 bad marriage advice you should definitely ignore

There’s no shortage of advice when it comes to marriage—some thoughtful, some outdated, and some… well, surprisingly harmful.

The tricky part?

Terrible guidance often hides behind smiles, traditions, or well-meaning voices. Below are 35 pieces of bad marriage advice that many couples still hear, believe, or struggle with.

We’ve grouped them into 5 key categories to help you spot the patterns—and understand why it’s okay (and healthy) to ignore them.

• Communication myths

Some advice sounds like it promotes harmony, but actually shuts down healthy communication. These common myths oversimplify how couples should talk, fight, or stay silent—and often cause more confusion than clarity.

The real connection needs more than catchy quotes; it needs honest, thoughtful, and respectful conversation—even when it’s uncomfortable.

1. Never go to bed angry

The common advice “never go to bed angry” suggests that couples should resolve every argument before they sleep, but this isn’t always practical or beneficial. Some conflicts require time to think over and cool down.

According to Jennifer Jacobsen Schulz, LCSW:

At the end of the day, when you’re feeling exhausted and drained, you probably won’t solve any major conflicts.

So, sometimes, the best solution is to get some rest and revisit the issue later, after you’ve had a full night of sleep and your emotional regulation abilities are restored.

Sleeping on it can provide new perspectives and lead to healthier, more constructive discussions in the morning. This often-repeated bad marriage advice ignores individual needs for space and processing time.

• Why this can backfire: Forcing a resolution when tired or emotional can lead to rushed or insincere agreements. It might escalate conflicts instead of allowing time for cooling off and rational thinking.
• A healthier approach: Allow for cooling-off periods if needed. It’s okay to sleep on an issue and discuss it when both partners are calmer and more collected.

2. Avoid arguments to keep the peace

While constant arguing is unhealthy, avoiding conflict altogether isn’t the solution. Constructive disagreements can forge better understanding and respect. 

It’s important to address issues as they arise rather than letting resentments build up, which can lead to bigger problems down the road. This terrible marriage advice can prevent genuine resolution and understanding.

• Why this can backfire: Regularly avoiding conflict can lead to unresolved issues simmering beneath the surface, causing resentment and a lack of genuine intimacy or understanding.
• A healthier approach: Approach conflicts as opportunities for growth. Communicate openly and constructively to address disagreements, seeking to understand your partner’s perspective.

3. Always be 100% honest

Absolute honesty without tact can be hurtful and damaging. It’s important to be truthful but also considerate of your partner’s feelings.

Sometimes, timing and phrasing can make a significant difference in how messages are received and processed. Adhering rigidly to this advice can inadvertently create more problems than it solves.

• Why this can backfire: Overly harsh or ill-timed honesty can hurt feelings unnecessarily. It can lead to bitterness or decreased trust if not managed with care and empathy.
• A healthier approach: Practice thoughtful honesty. Communicate your feelings and thoughts respectfully and at appropriate times, considering your partner’s feelings and the impact of your words.

4. Don’t talk about past relationships

Discussing past relationships isn’t just about dwelling on old flames; it’s about understanding each other’s history, which can provide valuable context for current behaviors and emotional triggers.

This openness promotes trust and can help prevent misunderstandings, offering insights into how you can better support each other. 

• Why this can backfire: By not discussing past relationships, couples might miss the chance to understand and address deep-seated emotional triggers or relationship patterns. This lack of historical context can lead to misunderstandings and repeated conflicts.
• A healthier approach: Encourage open dialogue about past experiences, which can promote understanding and compassion. This allows both partners to learn from each other’s past and work together to create a stronger foundation for their current relationship.

5. Your spouse should know what you need without you saying

Expecting your spouse to read your mind can lead to frustration for both of you. Clear and honest communication about needs and expectations enables understanding and intimacy.

This makes the idea that your partner should always intuit your needs without communicating bad wedding advice.

• Why this can backfire: This expectation sets up both partners for failure, leading to disappointment and frustrations when needs are not magically met. It undermines the importance of open and honest communication in a healthy relationship.
• A healthier approach: Practice clear and compassionate communication about your needs, desires, and feelings. Create a safe space where both partners feel comfortable expressing themselves without judgment.

6. Avoid talking about money to keep peace

Money is a common source of conflict in marriages, so it’s important to have open and honest discussions about financial situations and goals.

This prevents misunderstandings and helps both partners work together toward common financial objectives. Advising couples to avoid these discussions is bad marriage advice.

• Why this can backfire: Avoiding financial discussions can lead to financial mismanagement, unexpected debts, or disagreements about spending and saving, which are some of the leading causes of stress and divorce in marriages.
• A healthier approach: Regularly engage in open discussions about finances, including budgeting, saving, and spending. Plan together for financial goals and challenges to ensure both partners are equally informed and involved.

7. Marriage should always be easy if you’re with the right person

This advice sets an unrealistic expectation that love alone will smooth over any challenge. In reality, all marriages go through ups and downs, and working through difficulties together strengthens a relationship.

Jennifer Jacobsen Schulz adds that:

Conflict is natural in marriages, but what matters most is how you resolve it.

No matter how compatible a couple is, effort and commitment are required. Believing that everything should be easy can lead to disappointment and dissatisfaction.

• Why this can backfire: This belief may make couples ill-prepared for inevitable challenges, and they may question their relationship’s validity when difficulties arise.
• A healthier approach: Acknowledge that all relationships encounter challenges. Commit to working through difficulties together, using them as a chance to strengthen the bond.

• Toxic gender norms

Marriage shouldn’t come with outdated scripts. But many couples still hear advice rooted in rigid gender roles—telling partners how they should act instead of who they are.

These messages can feel subtle or traditional, yet they often create pressure, imbalance, and resentment instead of the partnership you truly deserve.

8. Only one person should handle the finances

Involvement in financial decisions should be mutual to ensure that both partners are informed and responsible for the economic health of the family.

This also encourages trust and equality in the relationship. Therefore, suggesting that only one partner should manage the finances is bad marriage advice.

• Why this can backfire: This can create a power imbalance and leave the other partner vulnerable and uninformed about their financial situation, which can lead to significant problems, especially if the managing partner becomes incapacitated or the relationship ends.
• A healthier approach: Share the responsibility of managing finances. This can involve joint decision-making, regular financial reviews, and ensuring that both partners have an understanding of their overall financial picture.

9. The kids always come first

While children’s needs often need immediate attention, consistently putting your marital relationship on the back burner can lead to long-term dissatisfaction and disconnection.

Balancing parenting and maintaining a healthy marriage is crucial for the well-being of the entire family. This often-touted advice can diminish the vital connection between spouses.

• Why this can backfire: Consistently prioritizing children over the marital relationship can lead to a lack of emotional connection and support between spouses, possibly resulting in marital dissatisfaction and estrangement.
• A healthier approach: Strive for a balance where both your children’s needs and your marital health are priorities. Ensure you spend quality time as a couple regularly.

10. Your spouse should be your everything

Expecting your spouse to fulfill every role of best friend, confidante, lover, and therapist can place an enormous strain on the relationship.

Jennifer Jacobsen Schulz highlights that:

There is not one single person in the world who can meet all of your needs at all times, so it’s important to have social connections and interests outside of marriage.

It’s healthier for both partners to maintain a network of relationships and interests outside the marriage. This diversity supports personal growth and brings more to the marital relationship. Relying solely on one person can lead to some of the worst marriage problems.

• Why this can backfire: This expectation can create excessive pressure and unrealistic demands on your partner, potentially leading to disappointment and burnout in the relationship.
• A healthier approach: Cultivate a balanced life with interests, friendships, and support outside of your marriage. This diversity enriches your individual growth and adds depth to the relationship.

11. You should change for the person you love

Healthy relationships involve growth and adaptation, but they should not require losing your core self or changing your essential characteristics to suit your partner. 

A supportive partner will love you for who you are and not who they want you to be. This is a key piece of bad marriage advice to disregard if you value personal authenticity.

• Why this can backfire: This might result in losing one’s identity or conforming to an image that is not true to oneself, which can lead to unhappiness and resentment in the long run.
• A healthier approach: Support each other’s growth and personal goals, but remain true to your core selves. Changes should be self-motivated and beneficial to both the individual and the couple.

12. You must share all hobbies and interests

While sharing some interests can strengthen bonds, having individual hobbies is equally important. It allows personal growth and brings new insights and energies into the relationship, enriching it.

Declaring that couples must share all hobbies is bad marriage advice because it limits personal development.

• Why this can backfire: Forcing interests that aren’t shared can lead to resentment, a lack of genuine enjoyment and personal fulfillment, and stifle individual growth, which is vital for bringing new energy and perspectives into the relationship.
• A healthier approach: Respect and support each other’s individual interests while finding common activities that both enjoy. This balance can enhance personal satisfaction and bring fresh energy into the relationship.

13. A good spouse sacrifices everything

This advice romanticizes self-denial, often painting complete sacrifice as the ultimate sign of love. But constantly giving up your own needs, dreams, or well-being for your partner isn’t noble—it’s unhealthy.

Relationships thrive on mutual respect and shared growth, not one-sided martyrdom. When one person is always bending, the relationship breaks.

• Why this can backfire: Constant sacrifice can lead to burnout, resentment, and a slow erosion of self-worth. It also teaches your partner that your needs don’t matter, which undermines balance, intimacy, and long-term satisfaction.
• A healthier approach: Prioritize reciprocity and balance. Healthy relationships are built on give-and-take, where both partners feel seen, supported, and respected, without having to disappear to prove their love.

14. The woman should maintain the relationship

Many people still hear this advice wrapped in tradition: that women are the “emotional glue” or “caretakers” of a marriage.

But putting the entire burden of emotional labor on one partner—especially based on gender—creates a deep imbalance. A strong marriage is a shared effort, not a solo performance.

• Why this can backfire: When one partner feels solely responsible for keeping the relationship healthy, they may experience stress, resentment, or emotional exhaustion. Meanwhile, the other partner may become passive, disconnected, or complacent.
• A healthier approach: Emotional responsibility belongs to both people. Encourage equal effort in communication, empathy, and nurturing the bond. A thriving marriage grows best when both partners actively invest in it together.

• Problem-solving pitfalls

Sometimes, we’re told to solve problems by avoiding them, hiding them, or pushing through without reflection. But these quick fixes don’t usually work—they backfire.

These pieces of advice can delay healing, make you feel alone in your struggles, or convince you that asking for help is a sign of failure.

15. Keep your problems between yourselves

While it’s important to respect the privacy of your relationship, isolating yourselves and not seeking help when needed can be detrimental.

Trusted individuals, be they friends, family, or professionals, can offer invaluable support and advice in managing tough times. However, this form of bad marriage advice can exacerbate issues rather than resolve them.

• Why this can backfire: Without outside perspectives or support, couples may struggle to find effective solutions or feel isolated in their problems, potentially worsening the situation.
• A healthier approach: Recognize when external help is beneficial. Don’t hesitate to reach out to trusted friends, family, or professionals for advice and perspective.

16. You should have a baby to strengthen your marriage

Bringing a child into the world with the expectation of fixing marital issues is unfair to both the child and the relationship. 

Children can add stress, and is a lifelong commitment. Couples should work on strengthening their relationship independently before deciding to expand their family. This misguided notion is perhaps some of the most harmful advice given to couples.

• Why this can backfire: This can place undue stress on the marriage and the child, as unresolved marital issues may worsen, affecting the entire family’s dynamics.
• A healthier approach: Focus on resolving marital issues directly with your partner. Consider expanding your family only when both partners feel stable and supportive in the relationship.

17. Couples therapy means your marriage is failing

Seeking couples therapy is actually a proactive step towards strengthening a relationship, not a sign of failure.

It can improve communication, resolve conflicts, and renew emotional connections, often preventing more serious issues from developing. Considering this as terrible marriage advice discourages couples from seeking beneficial support.

• Why this can backfire: This stigma can prevent couples from seeking timely help, allowing smaller issues to escalate into more significant problems that are much harder to resolve.
• A healthier approach: View couples therapy as a tool for strengthening and enriching the relationship, not as a last resort. Proactively seek counseling to enhance communication, resolve conflicts, and deepen understanding before issues become critical.

18. Keep score to make things fair

Keeping a score on who does what in a marriage can lead to competition rather than cooperation.

A healthier approach is to strive for balance and appreciate each other’s contributions, understanding that, at times, one may give more than the other. Promoting scorekeeping is thus bad marriage advice.

• Why this can backfire: Scorekeeping can turn the relationship into a competitive rather than cooperative partnership, leading to resentment and a lack of genuine kindness and generosity between partners.
• A healthier approach: Cultivate an environment of teamwork where both partners contribute to the relationship according to their abilities and circumstances, without keeping score. Appreciate each other’s efforts and work towards common goals together.

19. A successful marriage doesn’t need maintenance

Just like a beautiful garden, a good marriage requires regular attention. It thrives on mutual efforts in communication, understanding, and affection.

Ignoring the need for ongoing nurturing can lead to emotional distance and disconnect, making this one of the worst marriage advice to follow.

• Why this can backfire: Believing that marriage doesn’t require effort can lead to complacency, where important emotional, physical, and communicative needs are neglected. This often results in a slow deterioration of relationship quality over time.
• A healthier approach: Actively invest in the relationship through regular communication, date nights, mutual support, and shared activities. Treat the marriage like a living entity that needs care and attention to grow and flourish.

20. If it’s meant to be, it will work out naturally

A lasting and fulfilling relationship requires effort and active engagement from both partners. Relying solely on destiny without putting in the work can lead to neglect and dissatisfaction in the marriage.

This notion is bad marriage advice, as it undermines the active role couples must play in their relationship’s success.

• Why this can backfire: This passive approach can lead to neglect in addressing necessary relationship issues, promote a false sense of security, and lead to potential crises that could have been prevented with proactive effort.
• A healthier approach: Take an active role in nurturing and strengthening the relationship. Recognize that effort and commitment are required to overcome challenges and ensure the relationship thrives.

21. There’s a perfect moment for major decisions

Waiting indefinitely for the “right time” can result in missed life opportunities.

While thoughtful planning is important, flexibility and willingness to adapt to circumstances are essential for making significant life decisions together. Thus, this idea represents bad marriage advice.

• Why this can backfire: Waiting for the perfect moment can lead to perpetual procrastination, which might cause couples to miss out on important life experiences or lead to regrets about not taking action sooner.
• A healthier approach: Discuss major life decisions openly and make plans based on current circumstances and mutual readiness rather than waiting for an ideal time. Adapt and be flexible as life changes.

• Sacrificing identity

Love doesn’t mean losing yourself. Yet too many messages suggest that being a good partner means disappearing into the relationship.

This advice encourages people to shrink their needs, silence their individuality, or give up what matters to them—all in the name of “love.” But a lasting connection doesn’t ask you to vanish.

22. Sacrifice is the sign of true love

While compromise is necessary, constant sacrifice can lead to resentment and loss of self-identity. A true partnership should enhance your life and not require you to give up essential aspects of who you are.

Following this misguided notion is bad marriage advice, as it promotes an unbalanced relationship dynamic.

• Why this can backfire: Constantly sacrificing personal happiness and goals can lead to unfulfilled life and marital dissatisfaction. It can create an imbalance where one partner’s needs are always prioritized over the other’s, leading to bitterness and regret.
• A healthier approach: Aim for balance and reciprocity in the relationship. Discuss expectations and boundaries openly, and strive for compromises that respect both partners’ needs and aspirations.

23. You shouldn’t need time apart

Spending time apart to pursue personal interests or simply to recharge is healthy for both individuals and the relationship. It promotes independence and growth, which each partner can then bring back into the relationship to enrich shared experiences. 

• Why this can backfire: Without individual time, partners can feel stifled and lose their sense of self, which can lead to resentment. Over-dependence on one another can also strain the relationship, as each partner may feel overwhelmed by the constant closeness.
• A healthier approach: Support each other in pursuing individual hobbies, spending time with friends, or simply having some alone time. This independence can enrich each partner’s personal growth, which they can bring back into the relationship.

24. Love means doing everything together

The idea that couples should be joined at the hip may sound sweet, but it can quickly become suffocating.

Expecting to share every moment, interest, or activity doesn’t build closeness—it erodes independence and personal joy. Togetherness should feel like a choice, not an obligation.

• Why this can backfire: Constant togetherness can lead to emotional fatigue and personal stagnation. It may also trigger resentment when one partner needs space or solitude but feels guilty for wanting it.
• A healthier approach: Let your bond breathe. Support each other’s individuality while also building shared rituals and quality time. A little space can deepen a connection rather than weaken it.

25. A good partner puts their dreams on hold

Pausing personal goals might seem selfless at the moment, especially during big transitions like having kids or career moves.

However, continually shelving your dreams can create long-term resentment and a hard—to—recover loss of identity.

• Why this can backfire: When one person’s aspirations are constantly delayed or dismissed, it can lead to imbalance, emotional distance, and frustration. Over time, regret may replace the sense of support you intended.
• A healthier approach: Create space for both partners’ ambitions. Support each other’s growth, and find ways to adapt as a team—even if it means stretching outside your comfort zone.

26. Your needs shouldn’t matter if you’re in love

Putting your partner first is often praised, but doing so at the expense of your own emotional, mental, or physical well-being is not love—it’s self-erasure.

A healthy relationship doesn’t ignore needs; it respects and honors both people’s humanity.

• Why this can backfire: Ignoring your own needs can lead to burnout, low self-esteem, and emotional withdrawal. Over time, it sends the message that you’re not allowed to matter.
• A healthier approach: Practice mutual care. When both partners feel safe expressing their needs, they’re more likely to meet each other with empathy, patience, and love.

27. You have to become who your partner wants you to be

Trying to fit into someone else’s mold might seem like love, but it’s more like fear. When you constantly edit your behavior, beliefs, or personality to gain approval, the relationship becomes a performance, not a partnership.

• Why this can backfire: Living as a version of yourself to keep the peace or feel accepted will eventually cause resentment and disconnection. You may even lose sight of what you want.
• A healthier approach: Let the relationship grow around your authentic self. The best partnerships encourage you to be more you, not less.

28. If you love them, you’ll give up anything

Grand gestures of sacrifice are often seen as romantic, but love shouldn’t demand a constant surrender of your values, boundaries, or joy. True intimacy makes room for both people to live fully, not for one to disappear slowly.

• • Why this can backfire: Giving up everything can create deep inner conflict, especially when it goes unrecognized or unreciprocated. It also makes your sense of self dependent on the relationship’s success.
  • A healthier approach: Choose to give, not because you must, but because you want to—and within limits that preserve your dignity and identity.

• Advice that just misses the mark

Some advice isn’t mean-spirited or harmful—it just falls short. It sounds sweet, wise, or romantic… until real life hits. These well-intentioned ideas can set unrealistic expectations, create pressure to “feel” a certain way, or offer surface-level solutions to deep and complex parts of marriage.

29. Your sex life will fade anyway

Accepting that intimacy will diminish sets couples up for a self-fulfilling prophecy. A satisfying sex life requires effort and communication, especially as relationships evolve over time. 

Keeping intimacy alive is entirely possible and beneficial for a long-lasting bond. Believing otherwise can lead to neglect in one of the most important aspects of a marriage.

• Why this can backfire: Accepting this as inevitable can lead couples to neglect their sexual relationship, which is important for intimacy and connection, potentially leading to dissatisfaction and disconnection.
• A healthier approach: Actively work to maintain and enhance intimacy. Communicate about your desires, make time for each other, and keep the romantic and physical connection alive through mutual effort and creativity.

30. Opposites attract and live happily ever after

While differences can complement each other, core values and life goals should align for long-term compatibility.

Shared perspectives on important aspects like family, finances, and personal growth often form the basis for enduring relationships. Propagating the myth that stark opposites make the best partners is bad marriage advice.

• Why this can backfire: Relying solely on the excitement of differences can overlook the importance of shared values and goals, which are crucial for long-term relationship stability and satisfaction.
• A healthier approach: Acknowledge and celebrate differences while ensuring you share key values and life goals. Work on understanding how your contrasting traits can complement each other in positive ways.

31. Marriage is only about love

While love is a key ingredient, successful marriages also rely on respect, trust, and commitment. These elements are crucial for building a strong foundation that can support partners through life’s challenges and changes.

Suggesting otherwise is bad marriage advice because it overlooks the multidimensional nature of a lasting relationship.

• Why this can backfire: Overemphasizing love while ignoring other critical components like respect, trust, and mutual support can create a fragile relationship foundation that might crack under the pressure of real-life challenges.
• A healthier approach: Build a relationship on multiple pillars such as trust, respect, friendship, and mutual goals. Recognize that love is vital, but it is the combination of many elements that sustain a long-term partnership.

32. A grand wedding sets the tone for a successful marriage

A wedding is a celebration of love, but it’s just the beginning of what can be a complex journey. The strength of a marriage lies in the daily efforts and choices made long after the festivities have ended.

Believing that a lavish wedding predicts marital success is bad wedding advice, focusing too much on the event rather than the marriage itself.

• Why this can backfire: Focusing too much on the wedding day can lead to excessive spending and planning stress, potentially starting the marriage with financial strain and unmet expectations about the reality of daily married life.
• A healthier approach: Focus on the importance of the marriage beyond just the wedding day. Plan a celebration that reflects the couple’s values and situation, and prioritize building a strong foundation for the marriage that lasts far beyond the festivities.

33. If you’re with the right person, everything will fall into place

It’s comforting to believe that the “right” relationship will be effortless, but that idea skips over reality. Even the strongest couples face disagreements, unexpected stress, and seasons of doubt.

Waiting for things to align magically can keep couples from putting in the intentional effort that relationships actually need.

• Why this can backfire: Believing that love alone is enough can lead to disillusionment when challenges arise. It may also keep couples from learning important skills like communication, compromise, and emotional repair.
• A healthier approach: Recognize that even great relationships take work. Show up, stay engaged, and build a partnership that thrives on effort, not just chemistry.

34. You shouldn’t have to ask for help in a good marriage

This idea sounds romantic, but it encourages silence. Expecting your partner to anticipate your every need without being told sets both of you up for disappointment.

No one is a mind reader, and guessing games aren’t a healthy way to build connection or trust.

• Why this can backfire: Needs go unmet, frustrations build, and both partners feel misunderstood or unappreciated. Over time, this silent expectation chips away at emotional safety and intimacy.
• A healthier approach: Speak up with kindness. Communicating your needs clearly creates space for understanding, teamwork, and real support.

35. As long as you love each other, everything else will work out

Love is powerful, yes—but it doesn’t solve everything. Bills, in-laws, parenting styles, emotional baggage… these things require clear thinking and shared strategy.

Relying on love alone can make couples overlook or minimize practical challenges that deserve real attention.

• Why this can backfire: Important problems may be ignored in the name of “love,” leading to recurring conflict or chronic stress. It also places unfair pressure on feelings to carry the entire relationship.
• A healthier approach: Let love guide you, but let communication, planning, and collaboration carry you. It takes both heart and effort to make marriage work.

How can bad marriage advice affect marriages?

Bad marriage advice can subtly undermine relationships, leading couples into patterns that may not align with their true needs or circumstances.

These misguided pieces of wisdom can distort expectations and foster unhealthy behaviors, ultimately affecting the overall health of the marriage.

• Increases misunderstandings: Misguided advice often leads to miscommunication and confusion between partners.
• Creates unrealistic expectations: Couples might expect perfection or effortless harmony, which is rarely attainable.
• Causes unnecessary stress: Striving to follow flawed advice can cause stress and frustration.
• Leads to resentment: One or both partners may feel resentment if they believe they are living up to unrealistic standards.
• Diminishes individual growth: Overemphasis on certain marital ideals might stifle personal development.
• Prevents true intimacy: Surface-level advice can keep couples from addressing deeper issues, hindering genuine connection.
• Encourages dependency: Overreliance on a partner for all needs, as often advised, can lead to unhealthy dependency dynamics.

Apart from this marriage advice, there are some good ones that come from experts. Check out this video to learn proven ways to build and maintain intimacy between couples, as per LMFT Steph Anya:

Why this advice persists—and what to do instead

Some of this advice has been around for generations—passed down in wedding toasts, shared by well-meaning relatives, or repeated in rom-coms and social media posts. It sounds familiar, even comforting.

But just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s helpful. These ideas often stick because they simplify complex emotions or promise quick fixes… but real love isn’t one-size-fits-all.

So what can you do instead?

• Reflect on what actually works for you and your partner
• Communicate openly, even when it’s awkward
• Let go of rules that make you shrink or suffer
• Be curious—not rigid—about what love looks like for you both

The best marriage advice is the kind that grows with you.

Build better love habits

Marriage isn’t about getting everything right—it’s about growing together, even when it’s messy. Some advice sounds sweet or traditional, but if it makes you feel small, unseen, or constantly overwhelmed, it’s okay to let it go.

You don’t have to follow every rule you’ve been told—especially the ones that don’t fit your life, your values, or your relationship. Instead, start building habits that feel kind, honest, and supportive.

Love doesn’t need to be perfect—it just needs to be real, evolving, and rooted in mutual care.

And that kind of love?

It can last.