Why Good Sex Matters for Married Couples: 5 Reasons

There are so many reasons why sex is important in a marriage. The benefits of good and healthy sex in marriage are profound both for the spouses and for the marriage they share.

Even if it’s busy around the household, you must realize the importance of better sex in marriage life. Good sexual satisfaction in marriage should never be put at the bottom of the list of your priorities.

So to answer some of the sex questions for married couples on the importance of sex in marriage, here are a few common reasons for why sex is important in a marriage and how important sex is in a marriage.

Before that, check out this video on sexual intimacy in marriages.

Why good sex is important in a marriage?

Here are some key reasons that good sex is important and can boost your chemistry and bond in marriage.

1. It’s the tie that binds

If a married couple can achieve deep emotional and sexual intimacy, their marriage can surely thrive on for many years ahead.

Let us differentiate the two.

Emotional intimacy is the kind of intimacy that two sincere friends can share. It is likely to be majorly stable and can last a lifetime.

To achieve a healthy level of emotional intimacy, we must be able to share an honest, open, and genuine communication.

This intimacy strengthens and develops confidence in our relationship because we can share our most profound and important thoughts and feelings with our partner.

Sexual intimacy, on the other hand, is the kind of intimacy where our bodies communicate.

When we think about sexual intimacy, we often think about the sexual acts that involve touching and penetrative sex. But it goes far beyond that.

2. Good sex needs emotional and sexual intimacy

When the marriage is new, a married couple’s sex life is very active, and the freedom to have frequent marital sex is available. This is what we call the ‘honeymoon phase.’

When this phase is over, some couples can fall into a rut. They turn away from focusing on the intimacy and communication they once had; they might turn away from each other sexually. Sexual problems may arise.

Why does good sex matter?

Fights about the stagnancy that is now happening in the couple’s sex life may pit the couple against each other, and then the blame game starts.

At these crucial moments, emotional intimacy comes in.

If you have achieved a level of emotional intimacy and trust with your partner, and you know you will be heard, you can discuss even the most sensitive issues, such as your sex lives.

Emotional intimacy empowers you to speak about your needs without being ashamed of having them, which in turn leads to great sex in marriage.

This is similar to being able to share your health problems with your doctor and trusting them that whatever you share with them will be held confidential and that you will be receiving the best treatment following their diagnosis.

Emotional intimacy should allow you to do the same.

Good sex cannot be achieved without the intimacy shared between you and your partner.

It’s almost cyclical that the more you are open to your partner, the more good sex you’ll have, and the more your relationship can get stronger overall.

3. Relationship thermometer

If you are a newlywed couple and you are not having as much good sex as you are expecting, there might be some issues that you might need to address.

Wondering, why good sex matters?

Well, for a couple to have good sex, knowing how to have sex isn’t enough. It’s also about sharing genuine intimacy between each other and being able to communicate well with your partner.

Especially when it comes to discussing your needs, this process allows you to share sexual intimacy as well.

By assessing how intimate you are and whether you are enjoying good communication and good sex, you can understand the temperature of your relationship. 

This means you can be alerted about issues in your relationship, which you can resolve quickly as the temperature cools down.

One of the aspects that you can quickly check within your relationship is your communication.

Are you letting your spouse speak about their needs, desires, and fantasies without being judged? If so, congratulations! You are opening the table for a healthy discussion on sex.

If you can share these conversations, you are well on your way to a lifetime of strong intimacy.

Talking about a sensitive topic such as sex can prove to be a mountain to climb, but if you and your partner have open and non-judgemental communication, what was once a mountain can now become a lowland to traverse.

4. Improved quality of life

Why sex matter in married life? Having good sex improves your quality of life. With increased sexual activity, you are increasing your shared moments of intimacy with your partner.

And not only that, having regular sex increases your body’s production of feel-good hormones, thereby making you feel empowered and more confident. It also helps to make you happy!

Aside from the feel-good hormones that this intimate activity gives, sex is proven to improve overall physical health. In general, regular sex improves your immune function.

It helps you fight off viruses better. And not only that, but it also helps improve your sleep quality! And who doesn’t want better sleep?

Learning why good sex matters involves understanding that sex has specific benefits for both men and women.

Men who partake in regular sexual activity have lower risks of developing prostate cancer.

For women, it was observed that regular orgasms helped strengthen the pelvic floor, and it was also reported that they experienced lesser pain when menstruated. Go, ladies!

Moreover, a study presented that there was a significant correlation between marital satisfaction, self-esteem, and stress.

5. Builds better communication

Sexual intimacy is a result of emotional intimacy. It also brings you together and helps you talk about things you may otherwise find uncomfortable. When your communication about sex is easy and effortless, communication in other departments of your life is also generally better.

Communication is one of the strongest pillars of any relationship, especially marriage. Healthy communication can be achieved in many ways, and good sex helps you bond better, talk with each other about anything and everything, and feel comfortable in your skin and your marriage.

10 great sex habits for married couples

Now that you understand the importance of good sex in a marriage, it is also vital to know some great sex habits for married couples. Married couples often find their sexual life suffering amidst family life, child care, parent care, work, and other responsibilities.

When your sex life suffers, not only do you stop availing the benefits of good sex in married life, but you may also find your marriage and relationship suffering. 

Therefore, it is important to know some great sex habits that you should practice as a married couple.  

How to have better sex in a marriage?

It is also recommended that you follow up with your partner from time to time and ensure that both of you are happy and satisfied in your relationship. 

Still wondering why good sex matters and how to ensure this in your marriage? To know more about great sex habits for married couples, read this article. 

How to overcome the lack of sex in a marriage? 5 ways 

A sexless marriage can be difficult to navigate. Sexual intimacy makes up for a big part of a healthy and happy marriage. If you are in a sexless marriage or find your sexual intimacy struggling, here are some tips on how to overcome it.

How to improve sex in marriage? Follow these five tips.

1. Rekindle the relationship

A sexless marriage is often a very comfortable marriage. This is when you both have been together for too long and might have stopped putting in any effort to attract each other, woo each other, or impress each other.

Sometimes, all your marriage needs is rekindling. Sex advice for married couples would be to improve the relationship through a few means.

Date each other, dress up for each other, make each other feel loved, understand one another’s love language, and love them the way they want, and you will see your marriage and sex life improve.

2. Communicate

Sometimes, your partner may not even know that there is a problem when in reality, it is all you think about. Maybe your partner does not see the lack of sex in the marriage as a problem, or it is not as big a deal for them as it is for you.

You must communicate the problems with them and tell them what you need from your marriage and them. Sexual tips for marriage building include effective communication that can solve many problems in your marriage, especially sexual problems.

Related Reading: 12 Ways to Have an Intimate Conversation With Your Partner

3. Be vulnerable

It may surprise you that you need to be told this, especially if you have been married to your partner for too long or have known them for a while.

However, vulnerability in relationships is more important than people think. At the same time, vulnerability is a prerequisite for emotional intimacy, which is a prerequisite for sexual intimacy. If you want to overcome your sexless marriage, being vulnerable with your partner is one of the most important things to do.

4. Follow up with your partner

If you have already been working on improving your sexual relationship with your partner, it is important to talk about your progress and the things you need to do to make it even better. 

Sex tips for couples include following up and understanding where your partner stands when you have been putting in time and effort to improve your sex life as a married couple.

5. Speak with a professional

If your concerns about sexual intimacy in your marriage are physical problems, you can speak to a professional. However, even if you are experiencing emotional or marital trouble that is affecting your sexual intimacy, speaking with a professional for marriage therapy can help.

FAQs 

Here are some frequently asked questions about why good sex matters for married couples.

Is sex important in a marriage?

While the answer to this question is subjective, for most couples, sex can be an important part of a marriage. Sexual intimacy is not just about sex but is about various things. It includes communication, and physical intimacy, such as little actions of affection (holding hands, pecks on the cheek or lips, etc.).

Sexual intimacy also has much to do with emotional intimacy and vulnerability in a marriage. Since it is an amalgamation of many factors, sex may be an important part of a marriage for many people.

Can a happy marriage not survive without sex?

The simple answer is yes. While sex is an important component of marriage for many people, it is not the basis of marriage. It might not be as important to many couples as others, in fact. 

To say that a sexless marriage is destined to be doomed may not be right. A marriage can be happy and healthy, even without sex. However, it may still be an important component of their marriage for some people and that’s why good sex matters. 

How often do ‘normal’ couples have sex?

Reports suggest that the average frequency of sex in a marriage is once a week. However, there is no “normal” amount of sex that people have. Some people may find the frequency of once a week normal, while for others, it may be too less or too much. 

How will lack of sex affect my marriage?       

Lack of sex can affect your marriage based on what your and your partner’s sexual needs are. 

If you both need sex and there is a lack of it, you may find your relationship suffering. Effective communication may reduce. You might experience difficulty communicating with each other as transparently as you used to.

Similarly, emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and similar values also suffer when there is a lack of sex in marriage.

The takeaway

Overall, there is not a bad thing that can be said about having sex. The more intimate you are with your partner, the better sex you’ll have, and the more sex you’ll have, the better your relationship will be!

We want to focus on the fact that it’s not always about quantity but of quality.

However, if you have found yourself stuck in a rut, it will help to have an open conversation about your intimate situation with your partner.

If speaking about the situation scares you, it might be best to seek sex help for married couples and meet a marriage and family therapist to facilitate the conversation.

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Rachael Pace Author

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships... Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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Sample Question

When you and your partner talk about something important…

We listen with care — even hard talks feel safe and productive

We try to talk, but lately emotional closeness feels harder to reach

I want to be open, but part of me still guards my heart

Our discussions sometimes spiral or end unresolved

It’s hard to feel close because our physical intimacy hasn’t felt strong lately

We often see things differently about goals or priorities

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