You might notice signs your husband is bisexual and feel threatened that a man will take your place.
Are you worried that a man is going to replace you?
Is your bisexual husband leaving you for a man he will fall in love with?
Your bisexual husband does not like you anymore?
On finding out your husband is bisexual, your mind must be full of such thoughts. Instead of getting crazy while worrying too much, you need to look at things differently.
How to deal with a bisexual husband
1. Take a step back and relax
You are stuck in a very difficult situation that might affect your marriage. It may or may not hurt your marriage. However it goes, you have no fault in this entire situation.
If you have been asking yourself-
My husband is bisexual. What should I do?
Can my marriage survive?
Then it is obvious that you are extremely worried.
You should take time to understand that if you want your marriage to survive. You cannot jump to conclusions on your own. Examine all the possibilities and consider if your husband has any sexual preferences.
2. Talk to him
When you find out that your husband is bisexual, the foremost thing you should do is have a conversation with him.
If you ignore the situation and avoid the subject, you will only be making things worse. Your husband has just revealed that he is a bisexual, and if you make him feel bad or criticize him for being different, he will not be honest with you.
You might feel absurd to love him and respect him at this moment, but this is crucial if you are living with a bisexual husband and want to show compassion for him. His sexuality is a part of his identity, and you cannot change it.
What you should do is accept it and respect him.
When you two sit down to have a conversation, ask him how long he has known that he was a bisexual. There is a good chance that he might say, he was always a bisexual and knew it.
But it could be that the feelings surfaced now and he had some indication in the past.
At this moment, you may feel that you have been lied to, and it was on purpose but remain positive. Do not express negative emotions or feelings when having a conversation with your husband.
When people are hurt, they say things that they later regret. Stay quiet if you have to or nod to indicate that you are listening but do not burst with anger, shout or ridicule him.
Be as honest and accepting as you can be. But this does not mean that you should be extremely careless about your husband cheating on you.
Try to be comfortable when having a conversation and take in everything.
Only acknowledge that your husband is a bisexual. Ask him if he wants to continue the relationship, and he is committed to being loyal to you.
3. Bisexual doesn’t mean cheating
If your husband is bisexual, it does not necessarily mean that he is cheating or will cheat.
He only wants to acknowledge that he is a part of the LGBTQ community.
Someone who is bisexual is not immoral or sneaky. People do not change into something else overnight. If he were to keep it a secret from you, it would have done even more harm because, again, it is not healthy for your relationship.
If he was hiding it, then he probably realized that it was better to let you know. Women who discover their husbands are bisexual have a hard time trying to understand the situation.
It is hard to understand if you have no friend or family member who is a member of the LGBTQ community.
Your husband is still the man that you love and adore. Even if he just revealed that he is bisexual, respect him for being honest and opening it up to you.
If he is still in love with you and wants to continue the marriage, then everything will turn out just fine.
4. Open marriages
Some women are okay with their bisexual husbands exploring their sexuality. Some women allow their husbands to have a relationship with a man.
This is termed as open marriage or an open relationship. You will be surprised to know that several people have open relationships, and the idea of an open relationship does not harm their marriage.
Instead of monogamous marriage, your husband has a relationship with another guy. This is not considered cheating because your bisexual husband is loyal to you and would not lie about anything; you only let him explore sexually.
Open marriage can work perfectly well for some couples, but for others, it brings terrible results.
Depending on how open-minded you and your husband can be, you can set boundaries and ensure that everyone stays safe. But because this idea is very scary, there are going to be problems when other people come to know about it.
Maybe your bisexual husband will not like the idea of you having other lovers. Both of you may have concerns for each other, but it is your problem, and only two of you can solve it.
Open marriage is taboo.
Even if you agree to be in an open marriage, you might not be able to handle the social stigma that comes along. Do not concern yourself with peoples’ opinions.
In the video interview below, people talk about their take on being in an open relationship and how they view it. Take a look:
Remember, you and your husband should value your relationship and do what suits you.
5. Couples counseling
For problems like these, if you feel stuck, you can always go for counseling. Find counselors online to help you fix your marriage and feel the spark of love again.
If your husband is bisexual, he cannot change the fact that he is in love with you. He may not even think about cheating on you with another man.
It is a difficult situation, and to make things right, give yourself and each other a break. Leave it onto the therapist and stay positive. If your marriage has to survive, love will make its way.
Will your marriage survive
Once you have understood the situation, it is time to address the real problem; Will your marriage survive?
The answer can be ‘yes and no.’
If your husband is committed to you and loves you, he will try to save the marriage.
How to support bisexual husband?
You can allow him to explore sexually, or he may shut out that part of him completely because he wants to stay with you.
On the other hand, your husband may not be interested in saving the relationship if you two had been going through marital problems, does not love you, or does not feel loved.
In such circumstances, saving your marriage will be a terrible idea. If he wasn’t committed to staying with you forever, he wouldn’t stay, and you will not be able to change that.
The question of saving the marriage arises when both of you are ready to make an effort. If you two are ready to adjust according to each other, marriage will stay, if not, then it will end.
You have to work things out with your husband and not think about what will happen. Things will not be pretty, and you may feel a void inside you, but only you and your husband can mutually draw conclusions.
Do not think that because your husband is a bisexual, you should leave him. If he wants you to stay, think about it. It may feel very hard to let your husband sleep with another man or cope with the idea of him sleeping with someone else, but you cannot close your eyes and forget the reality.
Moving forward is going to feel intimidating, and when you discover that your husband is not interested in you, any more things may take an ugly turn.
Some couples have split while others have become stronger than ever after the husbands came out as bisexuals. Give yourself a chance at making things right and making your marriage work with your bisexual husband.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Cassandra has been happily married for 15 years, part-time pharmacist, and marriage blogger. Her passion is to helps couples at all stages of life to understand and live God’s plan for happy, holy marriages by providing educational and spiritual resources. You can check out her blog at https://www.revivethemarriage.com/