Is my marriage toxic? How to know your relationship is toxic? If you have been asking these questions to yourself lately, chances are that it’s toxic indeed. Wondering how to get out of a toxic marriage or how to deal with toxic husband/wife will get you nowhere. You need to take a hard look at the signs a relationship is toxic and take adequate action to mend it or walk out of it.
There will be times when you have doubts about your relationship, wondering if the person you are with is actually ‘the one’ for you. You may often find yourself questioning your decision to stay with them over and over again. If that is the case, it is possible your relationship might be toxic for you. It is not good for any of us to be in a relationship with no love; there is no point in continuing it when you see no future together. A toxic marriage can affect one’s mental and emotional health greatly. People in poor relationships are often seen to suffer from anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and are susceptible to illnesses. Sometimes they have no idea what is a toxic relationship even as they are bearing the brunt of it. Therefore, it is important that you are fully aware of what’s good for you and what’s not.
How to know your relationship is toxic
Living in a toxic marriage may remove all happiness from your life, deteriorate your mental-health and feeling of well-being, push you into a constant feeling of self-doubt and shame and even lead you to have suicidal thoughts. If you already feel these things or notice any of the below-mentioned signs of a toxic relationship, you need to escape now.
1. Lack of communication
Talking to one another is considered a great way to remove misunderstandings and develop a bond between any two people. Similarly, couples usually opt for talking it out when having issues in their married life. If there are times when neither of you wishes to speak to each other, this is a clear indication that something is not right. Moreover, despite being in the same room, both of you are busy doing your own thing rather than spending quality time with each other, it shows a lack of connection. Similarly, physical affection is said to be what distinguishes marriage from friendship. If your relationship lacks physical intimacy, there is a really big red flag waiting to be noticed.
2. Jealousy and blame game
If your partner is constantly texting you and wants to know where you go, who you hang out with, this shows their insecurity and their need to control you (they may even be suffering from a toxic personality disorder). A jealous spouse requires constant updates and tries to limit you, taking away your freedom. They may even monitor what their spouse does on their phone or computer and may feel jealous on seeing them talk to others, particularly of the opposite sex. Having no trust in a relationship is a clear sign that there is nothing worth left to hold on to. When a relationship is toxic you may also find your partner often threatening you to manipulate you by hurting themselves, and blaming you as the reason for their pain as well as their own caused poor relationship.
3. Fights and arguments
Couples tend to learn more about each other over the years and develop a better understanding that helps them minimize conflicts and enhance love and support between them. Even after all these years if spouses are constantly fighting, possibly over the same reasons, there might be a huge chance they have lost the love they once held.
Can a toxic marriage be saved?
Being able to voice your perspective and being all ears to your partner’s opinion is a great way to resolve issues, but if neither of you wishes to talk things out means, you lack communication that will lead your relationship to shambles.
4. Criticism and humiliation
There a lot of pleasant ways to let your partner know if you are not pleased about their something or the way they dress instead of bashing, insulting them. It is not okay if your spouse humiliates and insults you by making mean jokes and judging negatively as this shows that they do not respect you anymore and want to make you feel worthless. Similarly, a partner who also refuses to acknowledge your strengths and belittle your accomplishments is not worth staying with. These are signs of a toxic marriage and it is useless trying to salvage it.
5. Feeling like walking on eggshells
If living in a toxic marriage, you will eventually find yourself to be always in a constant state of anxiety, and afraid to do anything that you feel may offend, or disappoint your partner. All of this entirely due to the fear of being criticized and yelled at. If you feel like ‘walking on eggshells’ which means a feeling of always being careful about trivial matters, this is a huge sign that you are unhappy in this marriage. Such feelings of anxiety ultimately lead you to think about how to leave a toxic marriage and you should act on it as soon as possible rather than suffer in silence.
Nobody deserves to stay bound in toxic marriage. The thought of breaking a relationship you have invested in so long is a scary thought due to the fear of being left all alone. Also, the premise of an unknown future makes letting go of toxic relationships a tough task. As a result, many of us choose to settle for mediocrity and try to live through the pain rather than thinking about how to leave a toxic relationship (here’s how). However, none of us deserve to simply ‘settle for it’ and need to leave such a marriage as soon as possible because nothing is greater than one’s emotional health and happiness.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.