Is my relationship toxic? How to know your relationship is toxic?
If you have been asking these questions lately, the chances are that it is indeed toxic. Wondering how to get out of a toxic marriage or how to deal with toxic husband/wife will get you nowhere.
Ending toxic relationships and letting go of toxic people is never easy, but you need to take a hard look at the signs your marriage is in trouble and take adequate action to mend it or walk out of it.
There will be times when you have doubts about your relationship, wondering if the person you are with is actually ‘the one’ for you. You may often find yourself questioning your decision to stay with them over and over again.
If that is the case, it is possible your relationship might be toxic for you. It is not good for any of us to be in a relationship with no love.
There is no point in continuing it when you see no future together.
A toxic marriage can affect one’s mental and emotional health greatly. People in poor relationships are often seen to suffer from anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and are susceptible to illnesses.
Sometimes they have no idea what is a toxic and unhealthy relationship even as they are bearing the brunt of it. Therefore, it is important that you are fully aware of what’s good for you and what’s not.
Also watch: Signs of a toxic relationship
How to know your relationship is toxic
Living in a toxic marriage may remove all happiness from your life, deteriorate your mental-health and feeling of well-being, push you into a constant feeling of self-doubt and shame and even lead you to have suicidal thoughts.
If you already feel these things or notice any of the below-mentioned warning signs of a toxic relationship, you need to dissolve the relationship.
1. Lack of communication
Talking to one another is considered a great way to remove misunderstandings and develop a bond between two people.
Similarly, couples usually opt for talking it out when having issues in their married life. If there are times when neither of you wishes to speak to each other, this is a clear indication that something is not right.
Moreover, despite being in the same room, both of you are busy doing your own thing rather than spending quality time with each other displays a lack of connection.
Similarly, physical affection is said to be what distinguishes marriage from friendship. If your relationship lacks physical intimacy, there is a big red flag waiting to be noticed.
If your partner is constantly texting you and wants to know where you go, who you hang out with, this shows their insecurity and their need to control you. It’s not common knowledge for the sake of it, multiple studies back this too.
A jealous spouse requires constant updates and tries to limit you, taking away your freedom.
They may even monitor what their spouse does on their phone or computer and may feel jealous on seeing them talk to others, particularly of the opposite sex.
Having no trust in a relationship is a clear sign that your marriage is falling apart, and there may be nothing worth left to hold on to.
3. Threats and blame games
Wondering, ‘am I in a toxic relationship?’
When a relationship is toxic, you may find your partner often threatening you to manipulate you by hurting themselves, and blaming you as the reason for their pain.
How much a person blames their partner depends on their perception, and it also decides how much they let it affect their marriage.
4. Fights and arguments
Couples tend to learn more about each other over the years and develop a better understanding that helps them minimize marital conflicts and enhance love and support between them.
Even after all these years, if spouses are constantly fighting, possibly over the same reasons, there might be a huge chance they have lost the love they once held.
5. Feeling like you are walking on eggshells
If you are living in a toxic marriage, you will eventually find yourself to be always in a constant state of anxiety and afraid to do anything that you feel may offend or disappoint your partner.
All of this is entirely due to the fear of being criticized or yelled at. If you feel like ‘walking on eggshells’ which means a feeling of always being careful about trivial matters, this is a huge sign that you are unhappy in this marriage.
Such feelings of anxiety ultimately lead you to think about how to leave a toxic marriage, and you should act on it as soon as possible rather than suffer in silence.
Can a toxic marriage be saved?
Being able to voice your perspective and being all ears to your partner’s opinion is a great way to resolve issues.
However, if neither of you wishes to talk things out, you lack healthy communication, and that will lead your relationship to shambles.
There are a lot of pleasant ways to let your partner know if you are not pleased about something or the way they dress instead of bashing and insulting them.
It is not okay if your spouse humiliates and insults you by making mean jokes and judges negatively, as this shows that they do not respect you anymore.
Similarly, a partner who also refuses to acknowledge your strengths and belittle your accomplishments is not worth staying with. These are signs of a toxic marriage, and it is useless trying to salvage it.
Nobody deserves to stay bound in a toxic marriage.
The thought of breaking a relationship you have invested in so long is a scary thought due to the fear of being left all alone. Also, the premise of an unknown future makes understanding when to leave a marriage a tough task.
As a result, many of us choose to settle and try to live through our marriage problems rather than thinking about how to get out of a bad marriage (here’s how).
However, none of us deserve to simply ‘settle for it’ and need to leave such a marriage as soon as possible because nothing is greater than one’s emotional health and happiness.
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.
Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.