7 Signs of FOMO in Relationships and How to Deal With It

Relationships are not always easy, but if you are also experiencing FOMO, this can make maintaining a relationship with someone even harder. FOMO, or fear of missing out, is not just a phenomenon experienced individually; it can significantly impact relationships as well.

Hence, it’s crucial to identify the signs of FOMO in relationships and see how we can deal with it. So, read to understand how to tell if you have FOMO in relationships and what you can do about it. You may be surprised!

What does FOMO mean in a relationship?

In a relationship, FOMO or “fear of missing out” refers to the anxiety one partner feels about missing out on social events, experiences, or opportunities for connection outside of the relationship. 

It can manifest as a constant need to stay connected with what others are doing, leading to dissatisfaction, jealousy, or insecurity within the relationship. 

FOMO can strain bonds by causing one partner to prioritize potential external experiences over quality time and meaningful interactions with their significant other, undermining the relationship’s foundation. So, after knowing the meaning of FOMO, let’s try to understand the signs of FOMO in relationships. 

17 signs of FOMO in a relationship

In the landscape of modern relationships, the phenomenon of FOMO has emerged as a significant challenge. This pervasive anxiety not only affects our individual lives but also seeps into our romantic relationships, manifesting in various subtle and overt ways. 

Below are 15 signs of FOMO in relationships, offering insights into how this modern malaise can distort perceptions, fuel insecurities, and hinder the development of genuine, fulfilling connections.

1. You’re unhappy with your relationship, but you don’t know why

If you are experiencing relationship FOMO, you may always think of a better person out there for you. This could lead to you missing out on love, so you should think long and hard about your current partner before you end a relationship with them. 

Such a sense of dissatisfaction might stem from an underlying belief that someone more compatible is out there, preventing you from fully appreciating the unique aspects your partner brings to your relationship.

2. You’re on your social media pages a lot

Something else you may do is look at your social media pages frequently. You probably want to see the pictures and updates posted by someone you know. 

Constant exposure can intensify feelings of FOMO and is one of the common signs of FOMO in relationships.

According to Maggie Martinez, a licensed clinical social worker:

Being on social media often also prevents you from being in the moment with your partner.

It can lead you to compare your relationship to the idealized snapshots of others’ lives, potentially distorting your perception of your own relationship satisfaction.

3. You’re always on the go

Many people dealing with FOMO will be on the go quite often. You may need to go to only photo-worthy locations or ensure you are out with friends most nights each week. 

A relentless pursuit of the next best thing can overshadow the importance of spending quality and undistracted time with your partner, potentially eroding the relationship’s foundation.

4. You need many opinions

You likely need many opinions on how you look or what you do if you have FOMO. In other words, you feel better when you are getting noticed. 

The external validation-seeking behavior can undermine the value you place on your partner’s opinions and affect how you view yourself within the relationship.

5. You are always considering your options

You might have a hard time committing to one thing when you have FOMO in relationships. It may be vital for you to go to more than one party on the same weekend or to attend every event a friend invites you to. 

Such indecisiveness can prevent deep engagement and investment in your relationship, as you may always be looking for a better option, indicating one of the signs of FOMO in relationships.

6. You are apprehensive about making decisions

When you have FOMO, you might avoid making decisions by yourself. You probably feel like you will make the wrong choice. This hesitance can lead to a reliance on your partner for decisions, potentially hindering personal growth and mutual respect in the relationship.

Maggie Martinez says:

Making decisions on your own can lead to an increased sense of confidence.

7. You have anxiety when your partner is doing something without you

You will probably become stressed when your partner goes somewhere without you in a FOMO relationship. This may cause you to feel betrayed, or you might even convince them that you need to tag along. 

The anxiety can stem from a fear of missing out on experiences or a lack of trust, which can strain the relationship.

8. You constantly wonder what else is out there

If you find yourself wondering what else is out there for you most of the time, this is a sign of fear of missing out in relationships. This constant questioning can prevent you from truly valuing and investing in your current relationship, as you’re always considering alternative possibilities.

9. You must know what your friends are doing all the time

You likely need to know what your friends are up to at all times. This may mean watching their social profiles or calling and texting them multiple times a day to see what they are up to. 

The obsession can distract from your relationship as you prioritize keeping up with friends over nurturing your partnership, showcasing one of the signs of FOMO in relationships.

10. You take pictures of everything you do

It will be vital for you to capture many of the moments of your life if you have FOMO in relationships. You will probably make sure that the pictures look perfect before posting them. 

The behavior can detract from experiencing genuine moments with your partner as the focus shifts to how others perceive these moments.

11. You don’t like to be by yourself

Those who fear missing out in relationships might feel uncomfortable being alone. Instead, they will feel more at ease in the company of others. 

Such discomfort with solitude can indicate an overreliance on external validation and companionship, potentially leading to a lack of individual identity within the relationship.

12. You have something to do nearly every night

You will keep your calendar full. You might even need to go to multiple places many nights a week. This packed schedule can leave little room for spontaneous or meaningful moments with your partner, potentially leading to a sense of disconnection, indicating one of the signs of FOMO in relationships.

13. Your mind is always somewhere else

If you have trouble keeping your mind focused on what you’re doing, this could be because you are experiencing FOMO. It can be hard to concentrate on your daily tasks. 

The lack of presence can hinder your ability to connect with your partner on a deeper level, as you’re constantly distracted by thoughts of what you could be missing.

14. You aren’t putting effort into the relationship

It might not make sense to work too hard on your current relationship. You may even have another mate in mind that you want to date next. 

Such lack of effort reflects a belief that the relationship is not worth investing in, which can prevent the relationship from growing and becoming more meaningful.

15. You think about past relationships a lot

You are likely thinking about exes more than you should. You could even be thinking about getting back with someone you used to date. 

Focusing on the past can hinder your ability to fully commit to and appreciate your current relationship, as you’re constantly comparing it to what was or what could have been. This is one of the common signs of FOMO in relationships.

16. You feel a sense of urgency to make your relationship “Instagram official”

In relationships affected by FOMO, there’s often a rush to showcase the relationship on social media platforms, particularly Instagram, to validate the relationship’s significance and ensure it meets societal expectations. 

Such an urgency is driven by the desire not to miss out on the social validation that comes from public acknowledgment. However, prioritizing social media status can detract from focusing on building a genuine connection and understanding with your partner.

17. You compare your relationship milestones to others

When FOMO infiltrates a relationship, you tend to constantly compare your relationship’s progress—such as moving in together, getting engaged, or enjoying vacations—to those of your peers. This comparison can create a sense of inadequacy or rush you into reaching milestones before you or your partner are truly ready. 

The drive to keep up with perceived societal norms or friends’ timelines can overshadow your relationship’s natural progression and unique dynamics.

Maggie Martinez highlights that:

It can also put a strain on your relationship that doesn’t need to be there.

5 possible ways FOMO ruins relationships

When experiencing FOMO in relationships, addressing and managing these feelings is beneficial. Left unchecked, FOMO can negatively affect or even ruin your relationship. Below are some ways it might impact your connection.

• Can cause you to serial date

You might find yourself thinking that all the people you date are not good enough. This could cause you to only date people for a short time before moving on.

• You could constantly be looking for the perfect mate

With FOMO in relationships, you probably think that there is only one perfect partner out there for you. This is fine, but you might always be convinced that the person you are dating isn’t the right one.

• You may have expectations that are too high

Your expectations of others will likely be way too high. You may expect your partner always to be ready to be in a video, in pictures, or dressed for a party.

• You might push your partner away

When you’re experiencing FOMO in your relationship, you might not include your partner in your life and plans. This can cause your partner to push away as well.

• You may have anxiety about your relationship

You might start to feel uncomfortable or anxious about your relationship and want to end it. Although you don’t want to be alone, you may be sure you don’t want to be in a relationship with your partner as well.

How to deal with FOMO in a relationship: 11 ways

Dealing with FOMO in relationships can require mindfulness and deliberate action. It’s a common hurdle that, when not managed, can erode the foundations of trust and connection between partners. However, overcoming FOMO in your relationship is possible with the right strategies. 

Below are 11 effective ways to learn about how to get over FOMO in a relationship and mitigate the effects of FOMO in relationships:

1. Appreciate your mate

You should take care to appreciate your partner for who they are. Don’t compare them to others or wish they were like someone you know. They have traits that make them unique, so be sure to note what they are.

2. See a counselor

If you are trying to get over FOMO and would like help, you can work with a counselor. Traditional and online therapy may be able to lend a hand when it comes to handling FOMO, modifying your behaviors, and changing the way you think in some situations.

As Maggie Martinez explains: 

A therapist can help you identify what you feel you are missing out on specifically and learn how to feel more grounded and present in your relationship.

3. Determine what you want

You will need to figure out what you want regarding your life and relationships. It is okay if you don’t know right away, but it may be helpful to work on deciding what will make you happy.

4. Stay in the moment

Anytime you feel FOMO in relationships and want it to subside, do your best to stay in the moment. Concentrate on what you can hear, see, and smell, which may allow you to remember that this moment will pass.

5. Limit your social media time

Addressing your social media habits is necessary to stop having FOMO. You must limit it or take long breaks from social media while learning how to get over FOMO.

6. Live your life

Keep doing what you are doing. Don’t worry about what your friends or family members are experiencing. You need to determine what you like and how you want to live your life.

7. Slow down

When you are going out on most nights or filming yourself all the time for social media, your life may be moving relatively fast. Do your best to slow down. You might need some relaxation.

8. Make your own decisions

You must start making the decisions that need to be made in your life. Don’t count on others to do this for you, and don’t make decisions based on what they do.

9. Remember that you can’t do it all

You don’t have to stop going out or taking pictures. However, you need to understand that you don’t have to attend all your friends’ parties. At times, you may have other obligations.

Watch this video where relationship therapist Steph Anya shares 10 tips for good communication in a relationship:

10. Write down your thoughts

Writing down your thoughts can help you lessen stress and work out your problems. Jot down how you’re feeling each day, and you may be able to address things you are scared of as well. 

11. Engage in new activities together

Trying new hobbies or activities as a couple can counteract feelings of FOMO by creating unique, shared experiences that enrich your relationship. This approach can strengthen your bond through new adventures and redirect the focus from external comparisons to internal growth and happiness within the relationship. 

Engaging together in new and meaningful experiences can provide a sense of fulfillment and excitement, reducing the temptation to look outward for satisfaction.

FAQs

When it comes to FOMO in relationships, it’s common to have various questions. Below are some commonly asked questions about it:

• Is it normal to feel FOMO in a relationship?

Yes, feeling FOMO in a relationship is normal. It reflects our innate desire for connection and fear of missing out on alternative experiences. Acknowledging these feelings and communicating openly with your partner to address underlying insecurities is essential.

• How can you tell if someone has FOMO?

Signs of FOMO include constant social media checking, difficulty enjoying the present moment, and expressing regret or anxiety over missed opportunities. 

These behaviors often stem from a fear of missing out on experiences or connections outside their current situation.

• How do you know if you’re the problem in a relationship?

Recognizing your role in relationship issues involves self-reflection on your actions and their impact on your partner. 

Frequent conflicts, lack of empathy, or unwillingness to compromise can indicate that you may be contributing to the problem. Open communication and willingness to change are key to resolving these issues.

• How do you deal with a partner who has FOMO?

Dealing with a partner who has FOMO involves understanding and patience. Encourage open discussions about their fears and desires, suggest engaging in new activities together, and establish a balance between social activities and quality time together. Professional counseling can also offer strategies to manage FOMO effectively.

To sum up

FOMO is a common experience, but you don’t have to deal with it by yourself. The signs of FOMO in relationships mentioned above and the tips for managing or overcoming FOMO in relationships can guide you. 

If you’re seeking help to manage your feelings of FOMO, counseling could be a beneficial step. It’s an option that might assist you in focusing on your own desires and activities rather than constantly comparing yourself to others.